Gay or straight?

[princealbertofb]

No one is anything other than what they state..they state they are straight, then they are straight. They state they are gay, they are gay. It is not a matter for discussion by others because in my mind that is gossip.

No one should be backed into a corner to reveal their sexuality which is how I see this ending.

If someone is not hurting you or anyone else, then their sexuality and/or their sex life is none of your business unless they make it your business.

Like I said, I am passionate, I am also very very blunt and I know how that comes across to others, but I simply do not care (I don't walk into a room and wonder if people like me, I walk into a room and wonder if I like people)

Anonymous is only anonymous as long as it is anonymous...and like I previously stated, there could be some people reading this and thinking 'Maybe it is me, if I ever find out my wife and ex-wife are talking like that behind my back there will be trouble.'

GOSSIP HURTS PEOPLE

If you want to know if someone is gay, ask them.

OK, [MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION], I understand where you're coming from but some of this is debatable.
I could tell you that I'm the Queen of Sheba, the fact is I'm not, and if you saw me you would probably understand that this statement is outrageous. So any one person is not only what they state they are. I think it was Proust who said that ''our outward personality is a social construct of what other people think we are'' ie if we are perceived as gay or corrupt then the social construct of our personality is gay or corrupt (it doesn't make it true). It means that we are only partly what people perceive us to be, and that on the inside we could be quite different in reality (even in our own perception of ourselves). Someone might find you to be very mean or miserly, while you think of yourself as a generous person. They would have their reasons for thinking that, and you would have your reasons for thinking otherwise.

So, of course if someone says to their entourage and /or publicly that they are gay, well maybe they are, and maybe they will be believed, but maybe not. My partner had all the trouble in the world explaining to his ex wife that he was gay. She did not accept it. (I think shehas now, but it's been 15 years since he first told her).

Also on the Internet, people lie constantly about all sorts of things and so do politicians and children, and ignorant people, and manipulators, etc.... We all believe parts of the story we're told if it fits our perception of the world, but we may just as well deny it.

Your last point was, if you want to know someone's sexual orientation, you just ask them.
Indeed , it is one strategy, but, well, they might give you an honest answer, however they might also not.

Case in point : I'm gay, I think I've known I'm gay since I was a kid ; at about 34, an adult who ought to know which side he's bending, my mother asked me (not out of the blue, but shockingly unexpected. (my mother, right?): ''Darling, are you gay?''
I knew I was, I chose to word it this way (it was an honest response at the time) ; ''I don't like to think of myself as gay, mum. '' (I had no reason to disclose that I was - no boyfriend, no male partner, single, single, single and had been for a long, long time ; I did however have a very good reason for denying it : my gay brother was dying of AIDS, I did not wish to alarm her)

So you can be as blunt as you like, and you can be as intimate and close as you like, you're not necessarily going to get an honest answer.
I think Lesley stated that she'd only detected lies, but I think she was still expecting to have some kind of proof. She's had a hunch, she needs to see if it makes sense, or if her concern is misguided.