Gay or straight?

[Darius]

It's very narcisstic to think someone's sexuality only affects them and is only their business. It is also the business of whomever they have chosen to marry or be in a relationship with, as the years of their life are ticking away while the other is keeping secrets and wasting their time. I would love to elaborate, but those never post.

You are absolutely right, Lesley. What you describe is a life with someone built on a foundation of lies. Not only does it damage the marriage relationship but likely the relationship with children. Being secretive is dishonesty.
Is it at all possible that you are feeling something that just isn't there? Maybe you want to explain his behavior by defining his sexuality incorrectly? Maybe he is damaged or wounded in some way? Maybe his issues are not with sexuality? Maybe he is just not a very nice guy?
If you're guessing, imagine what we are doing.