04-06-2017, 10:47 PM
I am out to two of my three best friends and plan to come out to the third next month. We are going on a two hour car journey together and I will tell him then. I know I will not be very good doing this verbally so I am thinking of presenting him with a letter to read. What do people think about this idea? Here is the first draft of the letter. Bear in mind that I am 64 year old virgin who is still in the closet.
Iâll keep this as short as I can and come to the point straight away. Basically, Iâm gay. Or mostly gay anyway. You may have suspected this for a while now. The fact that I do not have a woman in my life at my age sort of hints at it. The fact that I live with another man is another clue. That is the ironic bit because Steve is not gay and nothing has ever happened between us and never will. He probably suspects that I am gay and sometimes jokes about it but Iâve never confirmed it and weâve never talked seriously about it.
Also, Iâm a virgin. Now you may find this hard to believe but I swear it is true. The reasons for this are complicated and Iâm not sure that I understand them myself. Itâs been a lonely existence and had its dark times but Iâve grown used to it now (ish).
Iâve been wanting to tell you this for quite some time but didnât have the courage and the time was never right. As one of my three best friends and one of the most important people in my life Iâve hated myself for keeping this from you. You deserve to know and I want you to know the real me. My sexuality is only a small part of me and doesnât define who I am. My personality, character and heart you know already.
I ask of you two things. Firstly, whereas I trust you explicitly to not spread this around I realise that you probably do not keep anything from Eileen and guess that the two of you may have discussed this aspect of me already but if at all possible please do not share it with her.
Secondly, after reading this, please give an honest reaction. It may take you a while to realise what your feelings are. If I lost you as a friend I would be devastated but I wouldnât hold it against you. It would be even worse if you said that nothing will change but then over the next few weeks or months it did. Please be honest.
I will answer any question you have and really donât mind you asking about any aspect of this. In fact it would be good to talk about it as I never really have.
Iâll keep this as short as I can and come to the point straight away. Basically, Iâm gay. Or mostly gay anyway. You may have suspected this for a while now. The fact that I do not have a woman in my life at my age sort of hints at it. The fact that I live with another man is another clue. That is the ironic bit because Steve is not gay and nothing has ever happened between us and never will. He probably suspects that I am gay and sometimes jokes about it but Iâve never confirmed it and weâve never talked seriously about it.
Also, Iâm a virgin. Now you may find this hard to believe but I swear it is true. The reasons for this are complicated and Iâm not sure that I understand them myself. Itâs been a lonely existence and had its dark times but Iâve grown used to it now (ish).
Iâve been wanting to tell you this for quite some time but didnât have the courage and the time was never right. As one of my three best friends and one of the most important people in my life Iâve hated myself for keeping this from you. You deserve to know and I want you to know the real me. My sexuality is only a small part of me and doesnât define who I am. My personality, character and heart you know already.
I ask of you two things. Firstly, whereas I trust you explicitly to not spread this around I realise that you probably do not keep anything from Eileen and guess that the two of you may have discussed this aspect of me already but if at all possible please do not share it with her.
Secondly, after reading this, please give an honest reaction. It may take you a while to realise what your feelings are. If I lost you as a friend I would be devastated but I wouldnât hold it against you. It would be even worse if you said that nothing will change but then over the next few weeks or months it did. Please be honest.
I will answer any question you have and really donât mind you asking about any aspect of this. In fact it would be good to talk about it as I never really have.
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