Leo
06-01-2020, 09:56 AM
The premise of falling in love with guys who don't want us is a mutual thing.
As I worked in a gay bar for almost 20 years and talked one on one and in groups to thousands and thousands of gay men in that time - I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt if you are saying this about someone else there is someone else saying this about you as well.
The way out is just to own that you are most likely picking them on purpose and the common denominator is you - not them. The solution is to develop a better relationship with yourself and deal with whatever past issues have brought you to this point so you can resolve them and understand your attraction and evolve and let it go.
Living in the present and looking forward to the future is an optimal and worthy goal I think.
It is always a bad idea to blame "that guy" for being who or what he is and deciding he is good or bad because if you are taking his inventory without taking your own - that is always about you.
Also an uncomfortable truth is what you don't like in someone else is often just a projection of what you don't like about yourself. If you learn to spot it and own it with humility you will most likely arrive in your own life alot quicker!
I am in a soon to be 34 year relationship with my soulmate. We are married and we both had to own alot of shit to become who we are today and to evolve so I have lived what I am suggesting and learned along the way. It was worth every single minute.
I agree with meridannight's insight - To clarify, there is no such thing as 'bad' guys or 'good' guys. Good and bad doesn't exist.
As I worked in a gay bar for almost 20 years and talked one on one and in groups to thousands and thousands of gay men in that time - I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt if you are saying this about someone else there is someone else saying this about you as well.
The way out is just to own that you are most likely picking them on purpose and the common denominator is you - not them. The solution is to develop a better relationship with yourself and deal with whatever past issues have brought you to this point so you can resolve them and understand your attraction and evolve and let it go.
Living in the present and looking forward to the future is an optimal and worthy goal I think.
It is always a bad idea to blame "that guy" for being who or what he is and deciding he is good or bad because if you are taking his inventory without taking your own - that is always about you.
Also an uncomfortable truth is what you don't like in someone else is often just a projection of what you don't like about yourself. If you learn to spot it and own it with humility you will most likely arrive in your own life alot quicker!
I am in a soon to be 34 year relationship with my soulmate. We are married and we both had to own alot of shit to become who we are today and to evolve so I have lived what I am suggesting and learned along the way. It was worth every single minute.
I agree with meridannight's insight - To clarify, there is no such thing as 'bad' guys or 'good' guys. Good and bad doesn't exist.
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