Now that my ex and I have split, one of his friends thought it would be somehow "helpful" to tell me that my ex had been using "daddy" websites for a while to hook up with young guys. My ex is 40 and I'm 25 and apparently now too old for him, so young is - well, really young I guess.
Being a glutton for punishment, I looked at the sites he mentioned - silverfoxie.com, daddyhunt.com, silverdaddies.com. I'd never seen any of them before, or sites like them. UGH. My ex's profiles were - well - for instance, one bore the comment "You *must* be 18, but I don't check ID, just saying". Another profile read like a sexual grocery list - I didn't even know what half those things were when I was 18.
But there were literally tons of young guys on there, and I do mean young. Wanting "daddies" for sex. And I don't get it. Among the many things I might want to do with my dad, or with anyone else's dad, sex is definitely not one of them. But this is obviously a huge thing. I'd really like to understand what motivates the young guys.
I don't mean to sound judgmental or offend anyone, I just really don't get it. Maybe it's bothering me so much because I feel like I've been living with a perv for the last 5 years. And what does that say about me? How freaking oblivious am I?
I was 19 when we met, he was 35, and I turned him down at first because of the age difference. But he was persistent, we really had a lot of interests in common and he made it seem like he was attracted to me in spite of my age rather than because of it. But now it seems like everything was a lie. I certainly never thought of him as a "daddy". Lol someone on here commented that despite our ages, it seemed like I was the adult in the relationship.
IDK. I'm finding all of this really confusing and pretty depressing.
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Seems to be a common fetish.
I figure like most fetishes, some people indulge in it infrequently, while others need the fetish to get off.
Seems your ex may have been closer to the latter end of the spectrum.
As for using the term "daddy" and "daddies"(and the counterpart, "son" also), I've always found these terms uncomfortable. But similar language is also frequently used in straight porn also. So I figure it's a pretty universal human thing...though I don't really want to know the psychology behind it...
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
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It's a turn-off for me. I block people who insist on calling me that.
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Personally I like a wide range of guys, generally 20 to 50 and with different body shapes (I prefer bear or muscular, though I'm also attracted to average, skinny and/or hairless dudes). But I don't have an explanation for it. I'm also into both vanilla and bdsm, I'm 100% passive and I can't explain that either. I just like who/what I like.
One thing I noticed: the older men I like kinda resemble my father when it comes to body shape and skin color. Maybe I wanted my father to be closer to me? But why am I also into guys who are totally different? Why am I attracted to men in the first place? I dunno. I don't think psychology went that far anyway, so I wouldn't hope for a definitive answer anytime soon.
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Maturity, authority and confidence are all sexy and commonly associated with 40+. Daddies.
I guess that has something to do with it. I like big hairy daddies myself and I don't think that's going to change as I get older. The body type is simply what I find attractive. Channing Tatum could dance naked on my bed and never get more than a raised eyebrow. Russel Crowe on the other hand...
I had assumed you were of similar tastes.
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Having been on my own since I was 16, and gone through some exceptionally rough times to get where I am.... I can understand the desire for some to seek out "Sugar Daddies". Having sex with someone for comfort, money, conveniences, room and board, etc can hold a great deal of appeal, especially if you're going to be having sex anyway... many might figure if they're going to be screwing anyway, might as well get some perks out of it.
As for the older guy liking younger, I don't really have anything for you on that. My first experience was at 14 with a guy almost double my age, and I have always attracted older men.
Although, the way your ex's profile reads? He sounds more like a pedophile to me, to be honest. Between his profile and the whole "you're too old for him" now thing, anyway. In my observation, it's primarily (although not always) pedophiles that get -stuck- on one specific (and very narrow) age range to the detriment of preexisting relationships and no matter how much they personally mature and grow.
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I don't want a relationship with a huge age gap because I know it will be difficult.
However, I feel more comfortable when I hang out with older guys. They're polite, respectful, patient and willing to listen. I can be myself. The feeling is different when I hang out with people of my age. I have been thinking this problem recently.
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[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION] - I can understand the "Sugar Daddy" concept, though that's different from young guys who don't want money or anything, just want to have sex with "daddies". I guess that's what puzzles me. I can't imagine wanting to call a guy "daddy" in bed. And reading this over, I feel like I sound judgmental, and I don't mean to be. Just curious.
What you said about my ex sounding like a pedophile makes a disgusting sort of sense to me. Although I'm apparently too old for him sexually now, he wanted to maintain our relationship. As a cover? For financial reasons? I feel like an idiot for never seeing any of this. If he hadn't screwed up financially with this kid, God knows how long I would have gone on being oblivious. UGH.
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[MENTION=20359]Cuddly[/MENTION] - No, I'm actually not at all attracted to hairy bear types - more to clean shaven athletic guys, runners, swimmers, with not much body hair.
I turned my ex down at first because of the age difference. But I loved talking to him because we had a shared passion for old things - antique, vintage - and he had an amazing amount of knowledge. I'd been hit on by older guys before, but he seemed different. He didn't act like a predator, he made me feel like he was attracted to me in spite of my age rather than because of it. "Sigh" - master manipulator.
As far as maturity is concerned, I have to say that he was (and still is) sadly lacking.
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08-06-2021, 09:15 PM
(Edited 08-06-2021, 09:28 PM by eastofeden.)
When did the "daddy" thing start?
I don't remember anyone ever using that term when I used to work in the club. I do remember there were some young guys who only went with old guys and also some old guys who only went with young guys but I never heard anyone call themselves "daddy" or even "twink". Twink used to be an insulting term - used to refer to someone whose elevator didn't reach the top floor - or "airhead". I think maybe the new version of twink came along the same time as daddy. UGH
Who came up with these terms anyway?
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