One Sided Relationship?

[InbetweenDreams]

The other thing is I LIVE IN MY HEAD. Being an INFJ further enhances that. I feel like I could be very much off base with him. I mean I don't know if you remember all the crap that went down with SilverBullet way way back. We briefly dated, had a HUGE crush on him. There was other drama that did involve GS but ultimately because I had this huge crush, the same anxiety and overthinking I may as well had a blidnfold on. So it is very EASY to miscalculate things, unintentionally misrepresent things. It is easy from my point of view to see that things are unbalanced and they probably are. I also have participated in making it unbalanced. He never asked for birthday gifts, or to be wined and dined. That was all me. So, I also think it is unfair of me to take the position of "look at all the things I have done for you." It might also be unfair on his vehicle situation, after all it is his friend's car and probably isn't properly insured (i.e. he's probably not named on the policy). His friend might not want him to put tons of miles on it or might not be aware the he had drove it that far in the first place.

What I am saying I could be picking on things that really aren't a big deal. Then again, everyone might be right. When we're together things seem great just dealing with that in between time has been a challenge for me. I get in my head and think about every possible scenario, thinking about the future, the possibility of living together and so on.

Take my remarks about how I felt he was ignoring me this morning. Perhaps he was running late and didn't have time to reply? See I don't know, all I can do is make assumptions and in my experience taking these things up for discussion is a slippery slope, say I accuse of him of ignoring me, probably not going to go over well.

I don't know but if I do go visit him this weekend we have got to work on ironing things out because I don't see things working out if I feel like this every other day. Either the problem is me or we're just not a good fit and I am willing to put effort in things to make things work but I have to feel that he is putting effort into it as well.