10-19-2010, 10:51 PM
Not that I've got some time to put forward a proper response, I can see that most of what needs said has been said.
To follow up on my earlier comment though. I've just finished reading a book called The Velvet Rage. It has some very interesting insights in to gay behavioural patterns. It makes the claim that, while these traits are not unique to gay men, we have a greater propensity to possess them than in the general population. However, the figure given (sorry, I don't have the book to hand) was no where near 99.9%. I don't even think it passed the half way mark.
The negative traits are a function of gay men not receiving adequate role models as a child in the same way that a child whose parents divorce will have a greater propensity to get divorced themselves later in life.
Typically, a child will grow up with a two parents one male and one female. The way this couple interact is imprinted onto the young mind as a model of how to function as an adult.
Given the lack of out same-sex couples the child does not know how to behave in a loving same-sex relationship. All the validating signs they were given as a child revolve around straight relationships. Given the amount of negativity or bullying a child may receive (or be witness to) with regard to homosexuality they learn that it is somehow wrong. When they reach adulthood they attempt to validate their lives and act to some degree in the way in which you describe.
Eventually, they can grow out of this. Some may not.
However, the main point is that the numbers are nowhere near as high as you claim.
As to your question on how we fix this. Partly, go read the book. It doesn't have answers but it does provide greater understanding and with understanding we can improve ourselves.
The second part is that we must become better role models to future generations. You may or may not have children. You may have relatives with children. Make sure you are a good role model for those children in case they turn out to be gay. That way they will have a better chance of having satisfying relationships.
Anyway, that is my understanding. I don't claim to be right, I don't have the necessary "qualifications" to validate my assertions.
To follow up on my earlier comment though. I've just finished reading a book called The Velvet Rage. It has some very interesting insights in to gay behavioural patterns. It makes the claim that, while these traits are not unique to gay men, we have a greater propensity to possess them than in the general population. However, the figure given (sorry, I don't have the book to hand) was no where near 99.9%. I don't even think it passed the half way mark.
The negative traits are a function of gay men not receiving adequate role models as a child in the same way that a child whose parents divorce will have a greater propensity to get divorced themselves later in life.
Typically, a child will grow up with a two parents one male and one female. The way this couple interact is imprinted onto the young mind as a model of how to function as an adult.
Given the lack of out same-sex couples the child does not know how to behave in a loving same-sex relationship. All the validating signs they were given as a child revolve around straight relationships. Given the amount of negativity or bullying a child may receive (or be witness to) with regard to homosexuality they learn that it is somehow wrong. When they reach adulthood they attempt to validate their lives and act to some degree in the way in which you describe.
Eventually, they can grow out of this. Some may not.
However, the main point is that the numbers are nowhere near as high as you claim.
As to your question on how we fix this. Partly, go read the book. It doesn't have answers but it does provide greater understanding and with understanding we can improve ourselves.
The second part is that we must become better role models to future generations. You may or may not have children. You may have relatives with children. Make sure you are a good role model for those children in case they turn out to be gay. That way they will have a better chance of having satisfying relationships.
Anyway, that is my understanding. I don't claim to be right, I don't have the necessary "qualifications" to validate my assertions.
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