Anyone else experience this?

[eastofeden]

Hi,
I have had this issue basically my whole life. I have always found women attractive. I never see guys anywhere that I find myself attracted to. I have only had realtionships with women. Never had any experiences with men. However, my sexual fantasies have always been the opposite. I have always gotten turned on by watching gay porn, reading gay erotica, etc.
I have had sexual fantasies about men virtually every day of my life since I hit puberty.
I never have sexual fantasies about women. I have always liked sex with women but usually turn my thoughts to men to ejaculate. Baiscally when I masturbate I always feel gay, but feel straight otherwise. I also am not lying to myself. If I am gay, why don't I look at guys I see anywhere and become attracted to them. I see women all of the time, who I do find attractive.
I'd appreciate your thoughts

I can relate to alot of what you said and I consider myself gay and came out as a teenager ten minutes after it occurred to me....I saw it as an act of rebellion announcing I was gay and I couldn't wait to say it to hopefully piss my parents off.

For years I tried to figure out where I fit into the spectrum because there was so many things where I went against the "norm" (for instance I have no interest at all in anyone's penis:biggrin...and before I say this (against my better judgement LOL) I will preface it by saying I definitely have a mind of my own and I pretty much march to my own drummer...most people think I am "out there" and maybe they are right...and so what if they are:biggrin:

Having said that...I am rarely attracted to men in general....I used to tell people all the time I am only interested in one type of man...someone who ideally has 49/51 or 51/49 ratio of male to female energy...I can go as low as 45/55 but I usually find the 49/51 easily so there is no need...I am instantly attracted to these men and vice versa....usually they are female in body and male in spirit but other combinations are possible.

I really think there is a whole new category for my kind of sexuality but as labels go...gay will do just fine and the Kinsey Scale pretty much allows for anything so I leave it at that....but I know alot of people just like me and it is extremely easy for me to find a mate and/or sexual partner because I know exactly what I like so if I am "out there"...I have sure had fun:biggrin:

My point...just get in touch with exactly how you feel and accept that it may not be the norm...by norm I mean norm gay, straight or bi...maybe think of yourself as a different flavor altogether.....if you need a label pick one or one at a time...or dont' bother with any of them because they really don't matter in the end. Being true to yourself does matter.

You said you would appreciate thoughts...those are mine. I don't think you have a problem really.