11-26-2010, 11:25 PM
Hi Jakem.
I am very reluctant to attach labels to people, especially where sexuality is concerned but from what you've told us in your post it seems to indicate to me that you are primarily attracted to guys or at the very least your sexuality is not entirely fixed. Read it back to your self, see what you think.
Rather than honesty, you need to be thoughtful to your girlfriend. Non of this is anyone's fault, you didn't choose to feel this way but keeping your feelings a secret will only end badly. I'm not suggesting you tell her right now but perhaps you might benefit from one of the "Talking Therepies" counselling. For gawds sake, stay clear of counsellers who claim to be able to "Cure" you of your homosexual feelings and desires, they might just as well claim to cure you of liking Pasta or the colour green.
No, what I mean is getting some help on your feelings of guilt surrounding the secret you are keeping. How to manage the truth.
Another thing, eighteen years-old is, with the greatest respect, a little young to be talking about getting engaged and married. You know the old saying, "Marry in haste - repent at leisure". You wouldn't be the first gay guy to take that option only to realise what a mess of two lives has been made. What if children become involved, have you thought that far ahead?
Another thing that jumps out from between the lines of your post, to me anyway, is that your girlfriend may be a little controlling of you. It seems fine for her to take other female partners but she can't handle it if you have other male partners. Maybe it's just an insecurity rather than control.
Incidentally, I trust you are both playing safely! Over 25 Million people have died of AIDS since 1981 World-Wide, don't become another statistic, please!
Stick around the forums and see what we have to offer others, post back and let us know how you're getting on and good luck!
I am very reluctant to attach labels to people, especially where sexuality is concerned but from what you've told us in your post it seems to indicate to me that you are primarily attracted to guys or at the very least your sexuality is not entirely fixed. Read it back to your self, see what you think.
Rather than honesty, you need to be thoughtful to your girlfriend. Non of this is anyone's fault, you didn't choose to feel this way but keeping your feelings a secret will only end badly. I'm not suggesting you tell her right now but perhaps you might benefit from one of the "Talking Therepies" counselling. For gawds sake, stay clear of counsellers who claim to be able to "Cure" you of your homosexual feelings and desires, they might just as well claim to cure you of liking Pasta or the colour green.
No, what I mean is getting some help on your feelings of guilt surrounding the secret you are keeping. How to manage the truth.
Another thing, eighteen years-old is, with the greatest respect, a little young to be talking about getting engaged and married. You know the old saying, "Marry in haste - repent at leisure". You wouldn't be the first gay guy to take that option only to realise what a mess of two lives has been made. What if children become involved, have you thought that far ahead?
Another thing that jumps out from between the lines of your post, to me anyway, is that your girlfriend may be a little controlling of you. It seems fine for her to take other female partners but she can't handle it if you have other male partners. Maybe it's just an insecurity rather than control.
Incidentally, I trust you are both playing safely! Over 25 Million people have died of AIDS since 1981 World-Wide, don't become another statistic, please!
Stick around the forums and see what we have to offer others, post back and let us know how you're getting on and good luck!
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