I'm confused need a better understanding

[pellaz]

when I'm around my friends I try to keep myself from staring at their crotches and I thought maybe I'm gay because I do this but then when I look at the way I am with everyone else I do the same thing

Your consumed by this thing. Give it some time.

I just don't see myself being with another man as far as a romantic relationship goes.. I've always wanted to end up with a women and I've had some amazing sex with women and want to find that right girl who loves me for me. And on two occasions guys wanted to kiss me and I just did not want to I just wanted it strictly sexual I just wanted to have fun.

The relationship part is mostly the same; gay, bi or straight. a gay boy is going to love you as much and in mostly the same way as that "right girl". If your gay too.

Also is it possible that people around me can see that I'm gay and that I may be on the closet? "according to them" I just get paranoid feelings that people and friends think I am through my body language and voice sometimes even though I've been told I'm not gay acting or looking.

Casual acquaintances dont see you have a Nazi pink triangle on your t-shirt, they dont know anything and dont care about you. Your closer to your parents and some friends and because you confide in them, you would have told them as much over the course of half a million words. There are more options now for gay people and there is no physical definition of a gay man.

I was watching a workout Instructional video and I normally don't get hard but iv watched his muscles closely ... Is there a difference between getting aroused through thoughts and watching porn compared to actual sex?

I've noticed that homosexual thoughts and porn turn me on much more than straight porn and thoughts but when it comes to down to actual sex I'm also equally turned on.
Does the fact I get turned on more through gay thoughts indicate I may be gay but just don't want to admit?

-It is not important not to label yourself and others. It is good to know what being comfortable with your self means. Than you can compare it to the people you meet in your life
-you being bi may be a transition from straight to gay. I feel you are not ready to accept your self if you were a gay man. You could be more open to trying some things, you should have kissed that guy. Than again you may indeed be the bi straight person.