Confused... any advice?
07-07-2016, 01:23 PM
Hello everyone,
I am writing to ask advice about my current situation.
I recently met a man on Scruff. Now, it says in the very first sentence of my scruff profile that I am looking for a relationship, but also I am not one to pass up sex with an attractive man.
So, I met this guy at my place, we had sex and then (I really didn't expect this) we talked. We talked for hours and hours about life, our interests, our families, etc.
The sex, by the way was extremely good and passionate it really felt like we had a connection. Well, we had sex again that same day and then talked some more, cuddling and holding hands and kissing.
Long story short, I've seen him 3 more times since then. He tells me about his family and work and the stresses of living in NYC and I do the same with him. Now usually I don't get feelings for someone I've only had sex with, but this just feels like more. There's an intimacy that is not there when I just fuck someone. (He kisses me when we're done, we talk forever, he plays with my hair, we laugh and giggle together, we holds my hand and we spoon, he gives me a goodnight kiss out in public after walking with me for a while).
Now my doubts are this. He is not particularly good at texting, though he hasn't been since the beginning, I've been the aggressor and he the (so far) willing pursuit. I'm unsure as to what to do. Should I tell him that I like him as more than just someone to have sex with? I've made it pretty obvious so far short of saying it outright. I'm only afraid that if I do that I will come across looking like an immature idiot (I'm younger than him) and then I'll miss out on all that sex that makes me feel so alive. Given the physical and emotional cues that he has presented I'd be a little surprised. After the last time we met he kissed me in the shower and as I got my shoes on and before I exited the apt and then out when he walked with me. He has said things like telling me how handsome I am, and how he blushes when I compliment him and wishing that I'll never tire of him and that I'll always come back.
Yet on the other hand he can be quite difficult to meet with, though I know he has a busy schedule he is not wholly cooperative sometimes. He always answers my texts in a timely manner and usually with enthusiastic answers, though the last couple times his answers were a bit short... he has been busy with work and overwhelmed though so maybe that could be it. Or maybe I'm just making excuses.
Or should I say nothing because it hasn't been that many times and play it a little more cool? Really I hate playing games but we all know sometimes how people like to do these stupid cat and mouse things. It's kind of beating me up on the inside that I don't know how he feels about me, and it would make me feel shitty if he didn't have feelings for me back. I would be kind of surprised but I'd rather know sooner rather than later so I can cut my losses. Only self-conscious that I'll come off as a clingy psycho...
help?
I am writing to ask advice about my current situation.
I recently met a man on Scruff. Now, it says in the very first sentence of my scruff profile that I am looking for a relationship, but also I am not one to pass up sex with an attractive man.
So, I met this guy at my place, we had sex and then (I really didn't expect this) we talked. We talked for hours and hours about life, our interests, our families, etc.
The sex, by the way was extremely good and passionate it really felt like we had a connection. Well, we had sex again that same day and then talked some more, cuddling and holding hands and kissing.
Long story short, I've seen him 3 more times since then. He tells me about his family and work and the stresses of living in NYC and I do the same with him. Now usually I don't get feelings for someone I've only had sex with, but this just feels like more. There's an intimacy that is not there when I just fuck someone. (He kisses me when we're done, we talk forever, he plays with my hair, we laugh and giggle together, we holds my hand and we spoon, he gives me a goodnight kiss out in public after walking with me for a while).
Now my doubts are this. He is not particularly good at texting, though he hasn't been since the beginning, I've been the aggressor and he the (so far) willing pursuit. I'm unsure as to what to do. Should I tell him that I like him as more than just someone to have sex with? I've made it pretty obvious so far short of saying it outright. I'm only afraid that if I do that I will come across looking like an immature idiot (I'm younger than him) and then I'll miss out on all that sex that makes me feel so alive. Given the physical and emotional cues that he has presented I'd be a little surprised. After the last time we met he kissed me in the shower and as I got my shoes on and before I exited the apt and then out when he walked with me. He has said things like telling me how handsome I am, and how he blushes when I compliment him and wishing that I'll never tire of him and that I'll always come back.
Yet on the other hand he can be quite difficult to meet with, though I know he has a busy schedule he is not wholly cooperative sometimes. He always answers my texts in a timely manner and usually with enthusiastic answers, though the last couple times his answers were a bit short... he has been busy with work and overwhelmed though so maybe that could be it. Or maybe I'm just making excuses.
Or should I say nothing because it hasn't been that many times and play it a little more cool? Really I hate playing games but we all know sometimes how people like to do these stupid cat and mouse things. It's kind of beating me up on the inside that I don't know how he feels about me, and it would make me feel shitty if he didn't have feelings for me back. I would be kind of surprised but I'd rather know sooner rather than later so I can cut my losses. Only self-conscious that I'll come off as a clingy psycho...
help?
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Sagittarius
Aries
to GaySpeak. Your story sounds a bit like a fairy tale, but they do happen. He's an older person than you and he's a professional. You didn't say what profession he's in. Maybe he's not someone who keeps his phone on at all times. Allow for his telephone use to be different from yours. Now, tell us, when you're together, does he answer any text messages he gets? Does he spend time on his phone or does he give you priority over all of that type of communication? If he gives you all his attention, then that answers your question about why he doesn't text back within seconds. If he does pick up his phone and does spend time on it when he's with you, then maybe he's using his discretion to find time for the perfect text message. No two people are alike. 
mile:
