I'm confused need a better understanding

[jbd555]

Sounds like there are some social as well as religious pressures going inside your head. In the first place you are 23 years old.. at your age just about anything can get a man hard. I'm gay and I've watched a lot of gay porn, however sometimes I really enjoy straight porn too. I don't think this fact makes me bi.
It may be a moral issue as to why you didn't want to kiss that guy or maybe you're afraid you may have enjoyed it? And I can see why social pressures would let you believe you may lose everything if you decided to choose a gay relationship.
I use to think being bi would be fantastic ...... the best of both worlds but it can lead to confused emotions not only on your part but on the part of anyone who you start a relationship with. The fact that you don't want a relationship with a woman (or man) who may cheat on you speaks volumes about your morals which again is probably a product of your upbringing.
Think of this though, if your sex life with your partner becomes secondary in your relationship you should be sure the two of you love each other. If you want to stay with that person for the rest of your life changing sexual orientation midsteam can be devastating for your partner.
IMO I would consider speaking to someone who is a professional unbias person such as a counselor. From what I've read on this website just about everyone is pretty compassionate and gives freely of their experiences.... but these are just our experiences. Everyone is different... that's what makes this world so great! mile: