I'm confused need a better understanding

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I am confused. If gay, bi, and straight are illdefined, then how can one be actually gay? Isn't it a lot more complex than that? I see dimensions here including what one's unconsious and therefore ultimately unknowable urges are, what one tells oneself about those urges, what one tell others, what one has actually done, what one will admit to oneself or remember having done, and what one will admit to others on has done. I am probably leaving out some possibilities. But my point is that I think the subject may be to complex to parse with such simple concepts as gay, bi, and straight.
Am I way off base here?

Yes it is complex, that is why he needs to define for himself what 'gay/bi/straight' is what those words mean.

We label our self as 'gay' 'bi' 'straight' depending on how we see ourselves.

Example: Technically I am 'bisexual' in that I can 'do it' with a woman (Meaning it is physically possible) and there have been a couple of women who have actually successfully turned my head. I identify as 'gay' simply because I have been with men and never been with a woman 'that way'.

Technically 'bi', self identified as 'gay'.

OP is going to have to draw his own conclusions what these words mean for himself. The label is one that he must make for himself and most likely he will change in in time depending on his circumstances. He might opt to view himself as 'straight' getting married, having kids and forgetting about playing with guys. Or he could find that right guy and decide 'I'm gay'.