Bromance? How do I tell him I'm bisexual?

[hamsandwizh]

I don't know of any bromance that involves hearts in the text's and cuddleing. I had a few guys I was very close with in high school and the Army, we told each other everything but it never involved any type of cuddeling or anything physical at all.

I get the feeling he might kind of want you, or at least to explore his own sexuality with you and I base this off of his jokes like I want to jack off and help me with it, etc. I have never met any straight guys who have ever said anything like that to another male, even jokingly. So it's possible that he is bi since he has a girlfriend and it is also possible that he is gay, before I felt safe coming out, and before I felt safe accepting myself as gay I had girlfriends as well because I saw scared people might figure it out if I didn't. It could be the same for him, then again, I only have the information you've given me to go off of so I could be completely wrong.

Regardless of if he is straight, bi, gay, or still trying to figure it all out since you two are so close and I don't think it will effect your friendship any. Might even make it stronger. All my friends know and none of them have an issue with it and it has not effected our relationship any, even with the guys/girls who I know who are pretty conservative and attend church like every week and this homosexuality is a sin. Oh girl, Denisse is one of those type of people and she's actually my best friend now, weird, lol. But yeah, I say tell him.

Now this is getting long so I'll wrap this up. But if you're really scared to tell him, which I can understand completely, what I have done that has worked for me and might help you is to write it out on paper. Write out what I want to say, his best possible reaction if I tell tell, them his worst possible reaction if i tell him, likely, his actual reaction will be in the middle somewhere, so just knowing that the worst reaction that can happen is not likely to happen helps. Then I write out on paper how I plan on saying it, what I think his reaction will be, using my logical mind and not letting my emotions and fears tell me something different, then I have a general idea of how it will go and that helps me build a little confidence and when I do tell him I have a general idea in my head of how I plan on saying it because for me just finding the words can be tough, so writing out in advance how I'd like to say it for some reason keeps it clear and formulated in my head so when I do decide to tell him I can get it out pretty easily then just wait for the response.

I've struggled a lot with telling friends and family about myself being gay, I was pretty sure I was gay when I was in 7th grade, didn't actually act on it and know for sure until around 2008 and I spent over two years hiding and not telling my friends and family because I was SO scared of the reaction, I was sure it was going to end badly and to my surprise, no one cared, everyone was cool with it and just wanted me to be happy. So I now try and live my life in a more rational way and not let my emotions and fears run my thought process, thus effecting my emotions when lead to how I control my behaviors which was hiding and doing all I could to keep this secret which wouldn't help the situation any which then led back to my thoughts. It's using the cognitive model which teaches you to challenge the thoughts before they lead to emotions thus effecting your behaviors by using thought records, pro's and con's, etc. Of course I rarely catch it during the thoughts, they are usually automatic and just pop up there but the emotion stage is where I catch it at, I'm like, wait, why do I fell angry right now? or scared? or depressed, then find the thoughts that led to those emotions, challenge the thoughts and they are usually distorted, and that helps. I fell like I got off topic so i'll end this here, it's easy for us to say go and tell him but it's very tough to do but I think it will be worth it and work out well, and you should reward yourself after telling him and if it doesn't go well make sure you have a distraction set up afterword or someone to talk to so you don't keep thinking about it and letting your emotions take control.