11-28-2011, 05:41 PM
Hello mate,
Being alone isnt always a bad thing... I grew up in a very lonley kind of way being the outcasted kid in society and a bag of nerves... Childhood was ruined and being gay made me feel ten times more confused about life than ordinary howevger i soon figured that if i adapt to this way of life and accept how its going id be happy in myself... Now once a week on a monday which was giro day I would go get a tenner out and visit the local pub and with that and from there i started to builkd my confidence.. Of course it was a bloody nightmare being so low on self esteem i was absolutely terrified of going in and visualised people with green eyes sitting at the bar ready to take the piss out of me as id had all life til then... I slowly made a small social group but as it grew i dropped alot of them because they just wanted a quick shag and i was not some meat hung on a rack to be taken advantage of...
Once a month instead of going to that pub id go to a club on a monday night known as BAR150 out of £10.00 £1.50 door entry leaving £8.50 and that got me five drinks which I made sure lasted a while... I would dance alone and just think bollocks to their opinionis I am me and me only if they dont like the way i dress or the way im acting or dancing thats their problem not mine.. Im not out to go mad at them and how they are behaving... Im out to enjoy my night... If i didnt meet a guy by 2am it was time to head to my car and drive home... Just to clear the record I only drank J2o's which now have a effect on me because i drank so many of the bloody things....
Dont be sad at being alone be happy in yourself at maintaining your freedom because relationships have ties and ties bring stress arguments and trust me if they dont go to plan then they bring pain!
kindest regards
zeon x
Being alone isnt always a bad thing... I grew up in a very lonley kind of way being the outcasted kid in society and a bag of nerves... Childhood was ruined and being gay made me feel ten times more confused about life than ordinary howevger i soon figured that if i adapt to this way of life and accept how its going id be happy in myself... Now once a week on a monday which was giro day I would go get a tenner out and visit the local pub and with that and from there i started to builkd my confidence.. Of course it was a bloody nightmare being so low on self esteem i was absolutely terrified of going in and visualised people with green eyes sitting at the bar ready to take the piss out of me as id had all life til then... I slowly made a small social group but as it grew i dropped alot of them because they just wanted a quick shag and i was not some meat hung on a rack to be taken advantage of...
Once a month instead of going to that pub id go to a club on a monday night known as BAR150 out of £10.00 £1.50 door entry leaving £8.50 and that got me five drinks which I made sure lasted a while... I would dance alone and just think bollocks to their opinionis I am me and me only if they dont like the way i dress or the way im acting or dancing thats their problem not mine.. Im not out to go mad at them and how they are behaving... Im out to enjoy my night... If i didnt meet a guy by 2am it was time to head to my car and drive home... Just to clear the record I only drank J2o's which now have a effect on me because i drank so many of the bloody things....
Dont be sad at being alone be happy in yourself at maintaining your freedom because relationships have ties and ties bring stress arguments and trust me if they dont go to plan then they bring pain!
kindest regards
zeon x
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