12-15-2011, 07:50 AM
I think I have some good advice for you...and it comes from years of hands on experience watching these things unfold and being played out in front of me....
...when someone tells you something nasty about their ex or even another person....listen CLOSELY as they are revealing more about themselves than they are the other person...doesn't mean what they are saying is not true but it helps to be an impartial listener so you can actually hear them.....
...the second thing...NEVER agree with one BF or lover when they are speaking badly about the other...NEVER! This is why...it is manipulative and when they get back together they will make YOU the villain! I worked in a gay bar for 20 years...I know the script better than the people playing the parts because I have seen it so many times. It is toxic and you should RUN..fast!
One other trick to beware of...when one person tells you intimate details about another they may be trying to get you to repeat it to the other person in order to control the other person...keep it to yourself. This is the product of jealousy and the desire to control and the one guy obviously got jealous when he saw you with his ex. They are using you in a game.
No matter what someone says about someone else in a relationship...they BOTH bring something to the table to contribute to whatever mess they are speaking about....you can count on it.
...when someone tells you something nasty about their ex or even another person....listen CLOSELY as they are revealing more about themselves than they are the other person...doesn't mean what they are saying is not true but it helps to be an impartial listener so you can actually hear them.....
...the second thing...NEVER agree with one BF or lover when they are speaking badly about the other...NEVER! This is why...it is manipulative and when they get back together they will make YOU the villain! I worked in a gay bar for 20 years...I know the script better than the people playing the parts because I have seen it so many times. It is toxic and you should RUN..fast!
One other trick to beware of...when one person tells you intimate details about another they may be trying to get you to repeat it to the other person in order to control the other person...keep it to yourself. This is the product of jealousy and the desire to control and the one guy obviously got jealous when he saw you with his ex. They are using you in a game.
No matter what someone says about someone else in a relationship...they BOTH bring something to the table to contribute to whatever mess they are speaking about....you can count on it.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
