12-27-2011, 09:56 PM
It is wrong.
Our closets give us the illusion of safety. Most who are in the closet are there because they can not face up to the potential of rejection.
As for being 'flamboyant' it is not just a 'gay thing' - there are plenty effeminate straight men who you would swear are 'gay' by their behaviors but have never been with a man and never want to be with a man.
We can never, really, fully assume that a person is straight, bi, gay, whatever. These labels are purely self identification 'markers'.
I know a straight male hairdresser (married, with 2 kids, a third on the way) who purposefully 'flames' around clients because they (the clients) actually think he does better work as a 'gay' man. He gets more tips, larger tips and more clients by swishing a little than he did when he acted straight.
Off shift, he is as straight as a board (in his behaviors) it is an act that he must play in order to make money at his job. Sort of cruel irony there if you think about it.
I am straight acting, I have a deep voice, walk like a man, talk like a man, drive a jacked up 1977 GMC Suburban (large tires, you need to step up into the cab - designed for off roading - not a 'gay man's toy'), I wear jeans and flannel, I do manual labor, construction. On top of this I hate shopping, I only use fancy shampoo because the partner insists (I'm happy enough to use bar soap). I do not lisp, I do not have a limp wrist - I do limp, but not swish. I think puce is something the dog does when it is sick - for instance the dog puced on the bed Christmas Night, leading to me having to change the bedding (She ate too much at the in-laws).
People constantly assume I am straight.
We assume much by behaviors because we are programed to believe in stereotypes.
My Partner bought me a T-Shirt that says:
The reason being is because he is sick and tired of being assumed to be my gay brother and not my husband.
Assumptions hurt people, it distracts from what a person is really 'worth' too.
A person who identifies as straight (in the closet or not) is straight in their own world. Let them have that.
Our closets give us the illusion of safety. Most who are in the closet are there because they can not face up to the potential of rejection.
As for being 'flamboyant' it is not just a 'gay thing' - there are plenty effeminate straight men who you would swear are 'gay' by their behaviors but have never been with a man and never want to be with a man.
We can never, really, fully assume that a person is straight, bi, gay, whatever. These labels are purely self identification 'markers'.
I know a straight male hairdresser (married, with 2 kids, a third on the way) who purposefully 'flames' around clients because they (the clients) actually think he does better work as a 'gay' man. He gets more tips, larger tips and more clients by swishing a little than he did when he acted straight.
Off shift, he is as straight as a board (in his behaviors) it is an act that he must play in order to make money at his job. Sort of cruel irony there if you think about it.
I am straight acting, I have a deep voice, walk like a man, talk like a man, drive a jacked up 1977 GMC Suburban (large tires, you need to step up into the cab - designed for off roading - not a 'gay man's toy'), I wear jeans and flannel, I do manual labor, construction. On top of this I hate shopping, I only use fancy shampoo because the partner insists (I'm happy enough to use bar soap). I do not lisp, I do not have a limp wrist - I do limp, but not swish. I think puce is something the dog does when it is sick - for instance the dog puced on the bed Christmas Night, leading to me having to change the bedding (She ate too much at the in-laws).
People constantly assume I am straight.
We assume much by behaviors because we are programed to believe in stereotypes.
My Partner bought me a T-Shirt that says:
Sorry, I'm Gay
No really, honestly I only act straight
No really, honestly I only act straight
The reason being is because he is sick and tired of being assumed to be my gay brother and not my husband.
Assumptions hurt people, it distracts from what a person is really 'worth' too.
A person who identifies as straight (in the closet or not) is straight in their own world. Let them have that.
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