outing people

[gfxtwin]

okay , i need to get something straight (so to speak). when i talk about outing, I'm talking about letting someone who sets off my gaydar know that i highly suspect they are not straight. it can be a matter of just asking them about it once, or it can be more subtle, like how cellardwellar was led out. if outing means spreading the word and putting the news out there fore everyone to see, than no, i would never out someone. that IS horrible and apparently that is the definition, so i apologize for my ignorance. what i am talking about is letting someone who is closeted or on the downlow know that i suspect something is up. It would usually be for their sake and the sake of some poor naive straight partner they may have. for example, i might engage in a discussion about hot girls with some guy I suspect is gay, and if he seems to be faking enthusiasm i might say something that simply points out that he seems a bit uninterested and leave it at that. in a way i have made my suspicion known to him or likeminded people who may or may not be around that will also know what i mean, but it is still open to interpretation. it also comes down to this: if i am going to bring someone into my life, be them friend, love, or acquaintance, i want to have some idea of who they are. if someone is in my extended family or is a coworker and seems to be putting on an act around the opposite sex, for example, i want to know for myself what their deal is. They may be closeted for a good reason - like being a student at highscool - and if my gaydar goes off in that context i will help them STAY on the downlow by never bringing it up. but what if they are acting strange and secretive because they are attracted to members of the same sex that are children? What if they are a relative, someone who dates a relative, or are a close friend of a friend who hangs in my circle? In other words, I have little choice in ignoring them. Then it becomes a matter of making sure they aren't hiding something that might harm me or someone else I care about. That also includes being gay and closeted and PRETENDING to love someone I care about. Does this sound too harsh?