not sure how to tell my family

[KJ1989]

Maybe I'm being too militant in my approach, but why not? They imprisoned this person in a house where he felt insecure being himself for at least 18 years. Maybe they deserve 30 minutes of their own medicine.

And there in a complete nutshell is why I feel YOU are taking the wrong approach here. You have no idea of his family situation, you have no idea if he felt imprisoned and you have no idea if his parents even had a clue. You are making a lot of assumptions about his parents there, most if not all are unkind. You are encouraging him to let rage and revenge to fuel his approach in telling his parents.

Coming out, is not about getting your own back at your parents, it's not about forcing them to listen to you, it is not about coming to a resolution and have a great chat in the first 30 minutes of telling them.

Maybe that has worked for some but I think it is fair to keep your mind open to all ideas and consider other routes. People are allowed to post up many different opinions on advice here and I don't think it's going to help CMJ for there to be an all out battle on here.

CMJ, you decide when is right for you to do it. I think under some circumstances doing on a drive can be a good idea (I know 1 person personally who has done it) but I WOULD NOT do it based on an act of vengeance that is being suggested by Musicman suggesting you were imprisoned, especially if you think they may be uncomfortable.

Parents have every right to be uncomfortable and worried, it all depends on how they were raised and what their beliefs are. Not everyone is a gay lover, not everyone is going to be a gay lover but they are entitled to their opinion. I'd like to think most come over this and still love their child once they tell them (Like I said my parents aren't comfortable that I am, but they love me all the same). But I feel the last thing you want is to be locked away in a car with them if they either 1) don't want to talk or 2) do react very badly.

That is my two cents on it.