not sure how to tell my family

[azulai]

Hi, cmj1985! Quite the lively thread you have here!

I spent a lot of time reading the threads in this section. You might have to go pretty far back but you'll find some good stuff. This thread spoke to me for where I was at the time and so I'm linking it for you. There is also a thread in Chic Chat that might help.

Coming out is uniquely personal and what works for one person may not be the best course of action for you. Only you know your parents, only you know YOU and how you handle things. Some people write letters, some people send emails, some people have face to face conversations. You are 26, and may be financially independent so what I say as a college student living at home may NOT help at all.

I ended up dating someone while in the closet and just knew it was time. I considered past interactions with my parents and that helped me determine quite a few things. I wanted to handle things in a quiet respectful manner because I've screwed up some things in the past by being rash and selfish and I didn't want to screw this up. I wrote out what I wanted to say, brainstormed questions, put it aside and thought some more/wrote some more. Discussed things with a few close friends, including my bf.

Ultimately, I determined I needed to have a face-to-face conversation with my dad. But, I live at home and I have two younger sisters. We're all pretty close and I don't know if you have siblings but well, we're kind of nosy with each other. :biggrin:

Anyway, I wanted to talk to my dad privately and that's kind of difficult in my house. Also, if I'd sent him a text he would have been insistent to determine what was going on right then. Well, something was missing from my plan and one day I did read a post musicman2229 made about driving his mom and talking to her. And, that helped me tweak my plan, kind of give me a missing piece to MY puzzle, kind of got me thinking in a new direction. Because I wanted control, I wanted calm and I wanted privacy.

What I did was tell my dad my truck was making a noise and if he'd take a ride with me to see if I should bring it into the dealership. #1- my sisters are not interested in cars/mechanical stuff and #2 - it didn't raise any flags with my mom.

When my dad and I got in my truck, I pretty much said, nothings wrong with it, I just needed to talk to you away from home. My dad just said, well, let's talk. So, I had planned on driving us to this park that I like to run/jog and it's just a very peaceful place. I sometimes envision a tree from there when I meditate. Anyway, I drove there and we ended up sitting in the cab of my truck and having our conversation. I need eye-to-eye contact and I also talk with my hands a bit so parking and talking was best for me.

I did feel like I was on an emotional rollercoaster after, I did need to go stay by my bf at one point just because it felt like things were closing in on me. My parents are supportive but my mom did need more time.

So, I guess my best advice would be to read what others say, and shift through things and hunt around for those puzzle pieces and eventually YOUR unique plan will take shape.

Best wishes!