01-13-2012, 02:41 AM
Hmm...
I can relate a little.
I had a very negative body image when I was younger.
I also had a solid bald spot at age 28.
I'm not sure what to say....except something I heard a long time ago and I've seen it repeated here many times...
"You cannot love someone else until you love yourself."
Along the same lines: "You cannot BE with someone else until you can BE WITH YOURSELF."
What does all of that mean? It means, you need to know what you CAN CHANGE and what you CAN'T change.
Personally, I started going to the gym to work on my physique (that is something I COULD change).
But eventually, as my head got balder and balder, I started to buzz my hair very short. Now I'm totally bald on top and literally shave my head every couple of days.
Fuck it, you know? THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT MY HAIR.
There is something I can do about my body and eating habits.
There is something I can do about my personal interests (get a hobby; join a club).
There is something I can do about the people I spend time with (ditch the vampires).
You're RIGHT, you need to surround yourself with successful people. Another thing people say is: "If you want to show me who you are, show me your friends."
Another thing, common sense: stay away from drugs, lots of alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, porn, all the typical vices. (Taken one by one, they're not a problem, but when you start combining these things together with low self esteem you're asking for problems).
And FINALLY: Take the focus off YOURSELF and go volunteer for people who have it a lot worse than you do. Go spend time serving soup at a soup kitchen, or teaching prisoners to read, who knows? But when we focus on OUR problems too much we become neurotic and unbalanced.
There are plenty of people who have it a lot worse than you but still thank God everyday for their food.
Best wishes.
I can relate a little.
I had a very negative body image when I was younger.
I also had a solid bald spot at age 28.
I'm not sure what to say....except something I heard a long time ago and I've seen it repeated here many times...
"You cannot love someone else until you love yourself."
Along the same lines: "You cannot BE with someone else until you can BE WITH YOURSELF."
What does all of that mean? It means, you need to know what you CAN CHANGE and what you CAN'T change.
Personally, I started going to the gym to work on my physique (that is something I COULD change).
But eventually, as my head got balder and balder, I started to buzz my hair very short. Now I'm totally bald on top and literally shave my head every couple of days.
Fuck it, you know? THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT MY HAIR.
There is something I can do about my body and eating habits.
There is something I can do about my personal interests (get a hobby; join a club).
There is something I can do about the people I spend time with (ditch the vampires).
You're RIGHT, you need to surround yourself with successful people. Another thing people say is: "If you want to show me who you are, show me your friends."
Another thing, common sense: stay away from drugs, lots of alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, porn, all the typical vices. (Taken one by one, they're not a problem, but when you start combining these things together with low self esteem you're asking for problems).
And FINALLY: Take the focus off YOURSELF and go volunteer for people who have it a lot worse than you do. Go spend time serving soup at a soup kitchen, or teaching prisoners to read, who knows? But when we focus on OUR problems too much we become neurotic and unbalanced.
There are plenty of people who have it a lot worse than you but still thank God everyday for their food.
Best wishes.
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