Horrible Self-Confidence

[LostGay]

Unfortunately, trust is a hard thing to overcome, especially when its broken. I was cheated on more times than I can count. It became harder and harder for me to trust anyone that I dated and it ended up costing me relationships because I went from trusting to overly jealous. One example was I met a guy, we really hit it off. We had talked for 3 weeks before meeting - on the phone every night for hours. When we finally met, we ended up sleeping together. He had told me prior to our meeting that he had kids and was going through a very nasty break-up. The day after he didn't call me when he said he would. When two days went by with no call I started freaking out and sent him all of these emails flipping out that he was a dog. He contacted me that night telling me that he went home from my house and his son got very sick and had to rush him to the hospital. He sent me a picture of the hospital ID band on his son's arm to prove it. He followed with telling me never to contact him again.

I decided then and there that the trust issue had to end. It sounds kind of bad, but rather than going into a relationship or dating someone with trusting them right off the bat, I decided that I would go into the relationship with a guy with the thought in the back of my mind that he was probably seeing other guys, that if we had sex I at least got something out of it and if it turned into a relationship, great, if not, oh well. I started a "3 day rule." That after a day, I would send them an email, just seeing what they were up to. Day two I would send another email saying something like "Was bored, thought I'd drop a line and say hi." On day three if I still did not hear back I would move on.

And honestly it made me feel a lot happier. I didn't stress about things anymore, I didn't get upset as easily, and out of it I had several decent relationships, including my current one of 10 years.

Bottom line is that you have to find your own way to get around the trust thing. The one main thing I do suggest is that if you do find someone that you are at least taking precaution and using condoms if sex is involved.