Relationships and Sex

[kkr203]

Hey all you forum readers. I'm a week away from my 2-year anniversary with my boyfriend and our relationship has been all over the place. We've worked through various problems in our past, some of them large (he was jobless from April until the following March) and some very typical (different family styles, etc).

One area of big focus right now is sex. I have trouble keeping my urges inside of me and want to fool around every day. But, we only get to do anything when he wants it and he is not a sexual person by default. I do things ranging from simply mentioning an urge to him to not talking to him until the urge is gone. He takes this as nagging and says that nagging will only have negative effects. After two years of this I'm stuck and have felt patient enough about this fucking issue. In addition I'm confused because he's the one who has been in porn and also the one who loves being filmed and stuff, I'm more classic about sex.

Will our sex ever change and work out or am I wasting my time waiting? (BTW, I've also changed myself from being a top-verse to the bottom in efforts to curb our sex life over these two years and am suppressing top urges every day and so far no luck, just frustration.)

Does anybody have any insight about this? :confused:

[kkr203]

(BTW, I've also changed myself from being a top-verse to the bottom in efforts to curb our sex life over these two years and am suppressing top urges every day and so far no luck, just frustration.)

I should mention that he did me REAL good last week and ever since I've been wanting it, so it's not a total bust bottoming for him.

[StarletHologram]

Hi kkr203. From my humble point of view, we can´t know if he will change his preferences about sex, but you don´t have anything to loose asking him to be supportive. He may feel good with not much sex, maybe is not as important to him as it is to you, or his body may be less ardent than yours.

Why don´t you talk to him directly about this sex issue; tell him that you need more sex, that you understand that maybe he doesn´t, but if he agrees you´ll reward him with something he likes a lot, I don´t know, maybe more make-out sessions, more kisses, hugs, caress, chocolates…whatever he want that doesn´t mean a real bribe, dear lord!. The idea is to be honest and talk about your needs with him, it´s fair!!. Of course, he has the right to refuse. Ah, and don´t mention the fact that you changed your sexual role because that was your decision and he may feel like if you were blackmailing him. If he decides he won´t change his mind, then you´ll have to think over if you´ll be happy with this situation. A relationship consist in more than sex, you have feelings, great moments, common interests…I´m sure if you have stayed in this relationships is because he has something worthwhile to give: a great personality, a good company…will it be enough for you to feel satisfied?. Cause there are lots of lustful guys out there that may be more than happy to oblige. And they may have your boyfriend qualities, maybe they won´t. You´ll get something and will lost another.

To sum up my opinion: you want more sex?, ask for it and if you don´t want to be so direct, “negotiate” it. If he doesn´t want to make an effort, try to look at his other virtues and merits and think about them; if you conclude that they won´t compensate for the lack of sex, consider meeting another dudes. Watch it!, don´t ever think about complete your day cheating, that´s disgusting and miserable:mad:. On the other hand, buying a dildo or an anus toy is allowed to release the excess of energy!.

By the way, there´s a good movie that resembles part of this situation: Kissing Jessica Stein. Why don´t you give it a try?.


Take care and go on. You´ll do it nice, I hope everything will change in the best way for both of youmile:.

[pellaz]

One area of big focus right now is sex. I have trouble keeping my urges inside of me and want to fool around every day.

every day is great and intense?
get a distraction, maybe a sportbike and you could have some in between time.

make the sex easy, have things set up to go. Find a time of day he is horny, early morning maybe?

2 years is a long time to invest in someone. find some gay couples counseling, maybe there is a middle ground, maybe not.