voice

[dwatt]

I am gay and know exactly what your talking about more then half the dudes I know have that
Speech style. But what I find amusing about it is that when they get drunk it seems to vanish a bit or all together. I asked a few why they choose to talk that way and their response was that it's the "gay" way. I find it a turn off. Talk like a man!! Even if your voice is naturally a bit higher pitched.

[matty7]

my voice is deep and pretty rough with my local accent so you wouldnt guess i was gay - i do know what u mean though,,,i think the tv over plays this camp gay accent as if were all into flower arranging and been drama queens...nothing is further from the truth in my respect but yes i do here it when im out,

[scraps345]

I find feminine voice unattractive and also wonder why they talk like that.

[OrphanPip]

Culturally associated speech patterns arise across all boundaries of class, subculture, sexuality, or what have you. The problem with highlighting a "gay speech" as artificial is that it is no more a culturally constructed speech pattern than any other form of speech.

I have more respect for those who embrace campiness than the whiny crowd of insecure self-loathers who complain about camp gays ad nauseum.

[Sylph]

I want to add to my previous post.

I have nothing against the "feminine" voice thing and really actually find it to be endearing (for me anyway), and not just because I talk that way myself. It's not a choice, atleast on my part, and just because some guys talk that way, doesn't make them women or non-"male". Like Jay said, we're individuals, to dis-like someone because of how they talk, is like someone disliking you because of how you look. For most people, it's just organic.

I am and talk feminine, yet others think It's weird I like the things I like, even though I'm feminine. I have pets no "girly guy" would ever dream of having; Milk Snails(Otala Lactea), Monarch Caterpillars/Butterflies(Danaus Plexippus), Pill Bugs/Woodlice(Armadillidium), Brown Tree Frogs(Litoria Ewingii), A Red Ear Slider Turtle(Trachemys Scripta Elegans), A few species of moth and a few other things that usually strike people as weird or gross.

I also like to play fight(not very often) and climbing/exploring, things "girly guys" don't like to do. But on the flip-side, I have a "girly" way of speaking, I am metrosexual, I like to shop(though not good with fasion >.>) , I can do hair pretty well, I hang out with girls primarily, I like watching things like, Glam Fairy/Project Runway/Soap Operas and so on.

I have a few straight guy friends, who are more "macho" than me, and talk with a "girly" swing to their voice. They wouldn't even touch my caterpillars, let alone my snails, but yet are so "manly" and tough.

I respect people because of who they are, not because of how they talk, so when someone asks me "why do you talk like that?" or "stop talking like a girl", I just say, "why do you look the way you do?" / "Stop looking like that".

People can have their opinions/likes & dislikes, but you shouldn't put a label on all gay men, and the same goes for gay men as well, because constantly one of my friends (who's "straight acting") always makes fun of me and says I'm more like a girl than a guy. Gay men have a tendency to do that, and I don't think it's fair. No body deserves a label, because to reiterate, we're all individuals.

"Macho" Guys/Feminine Guys/Average Guys/etc, all the same to me. I don't discriminate. I'd prefer a guy who wasn't as feminine as I am, but I'd take one all the same, cause he's still a guy and I like guys :3, no matter how they talk.

Hooray, a rant. (no offense to anybody :3)


Ps. Look at Nate Berkus/Tim Gun, They talk "girlish", do what was once girly things(Design/Fashion), but are not flaming queens, rather more like regular guys.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Like everyone else has pretty much stated, not all gays have 'The Voice'.

The ones in the gay ghettos or who hang out in the gay community have pretty much adopted the accent.

Its sort of like going to the deep south of the US and you pick up the twang. The more you hand around with specific people the more of their accent and colorful metaphors and colloquialisms you will pick up.

There is a gay language it is based on gay experiences and on the gay stereotypes set in the mid 1920's which has adapted and changes picking up various 'gay' imagery along the way.

Language is one way that we 'identify' in our and with out social circle. Another community that has its own language would be blacks, they have their cultural 'identity' while many of them can speak perfectly good English, but adopt the 'Ebonics/ghetto' as a way to identify with their 'culture'.

I'm not picking on blacks, however they along with gays share a few other similarities, for instance gay 'culture' doesn't go back that far. We are struggling to come up with a history. Blacks in America have the same problem, however for them its that 400 years of slavery, being ripped out of their homeland and having their heritage stolen from them.

Both gays and blacks pretty much found themselves in the middle of the 20th century with no real or positive history and culture, thus they 'made up' one as they went along.

Today many straight boys (20-something and younger) are far more gay than most obviously gay men where 20 years ago. They have that softer, effeminate voice that 'real' guys wouldn't have adopted 20+ years ago.

But then straight men tend to adopt trends set by gays. EXAPLE: Ultra blond short hair - started out ion the gay community and was stolen by the straights. Even the pocket hanky (jacket pocket) started out in the late 1800's by gay men to identify each other, by the 1920's it was pretty much mandatory to have one.

Gays struggle to keep their own identity. Straight men keep on stealing these things.

[Sylph]

Like everyone else has pretty much stated, not all gays have 'The Voice'.True.

The ones in the gay ghettos or who hang out in the gay community have pretty much adopted the accent.Where I live, there is only one "ghetto" and it's not gay. Infact, it's anti gay, so I don't think this is accurate for every community that has gays.

Its sort of like going to the deep south of the US and you pick up the twang. The more you hand around with specific people the more of their accent and colorful metaphors and colloquialisms you will pick up.I can agree with this. We as Bermudians picked up the British accent when Britain colonized us about 400years ago and have since then adopted the American accent as well, due to our close proximity to America. We also have our own distinct "Carribean" accent, not to be confused with Jamaican or Trinidad. It's become blended.

There is a gay language it is based on gay experiences and on the gay stereotypes set in the mid 1920's which has adapted and changes picking up various 'gay' imagery along the way.I agree.

Language is one way that we 'identify' in our and with out social circle. Another community that has its own language would be blacks, they have their cultural 'identity' while many of them can speak perfectly good English, but adopt the 'Ebonics/ghetto' as a way to identify with their 'culture'.True language is our identity, but as a black person(half black,you know) it's not about trying to adopt anything. Black people here talk with our accent, black people in America talk with theirs and so on. I was taught in a Black History class(which only lasted a year, because the govenor at the time who was White, closed it down, due to a "waste of funds") that because of slavery, they were uneducated, and couldn't speak english and therefore tried to mimic it in their own way. Alot of people who talk that way today are following what their ancestors left to them, and some literally cannot speak proper english, because they were not educated or choose not to be. While some find it cool or rebelious and do it on purpose. It wasn't because they wanted to be that way, but that's how our ancestry began. British developed their accent, Irish got theirs, Americans theirs and so on.

I'm not picking on blacks, however they along with gays share a few other similarities, for instance gay 'culture' doesn't go back that far. We are struggling to come up with a history. Blacks in America have the same problem, however for them its that 400 years of slavery, being ripped out of their homeland and having their heritage stolen from them.Technically, the first people were believed to be black and one woman ventured outside her community and gave birth to children in a different country. I'm not sure if that's true, but all life does seem to originate in Africa. So Blacks would then technically have the longest history, but you're right, the ones who were ripped from it, wouldn't know about it.

Both gays and blacks pretty much found themselves in the middle of the 20th century with no real or positive history and culture, thus they 'made up' one as they went along.This is true.

Today many straight boys (20-something and younger) are far more gay than most obviously gay men where 20 years ago. They have that softer, effeminate voice that 'real' guys wouldn't have adopted 20+ years ago.Lol, so ironic, but true. Possibly due to the fact that women didn't want an over-masculine man who was likely to hit her/cheat on her/not show interest in her outside of sex?

But then straight men tend to adopt trends set by gays. EXAPLE: Ultra blond short hair - started out ion the gay community and was stolen by the straights. Even the pocket hanky (jacket pocket) started out in the late 1800's by gay men to identify each other, by the 1920's it was pretty much mandatory to have one.Didn't know about this. Sounds clever.

Gays struggle to keep their own identity. Straight men keep on stealing these things.

Blue for you .

I'm not arguing with you, but just giving my insight. I feel like both sides of what you're saying affect me alittle, as I am both gay and black(or half black, ). I agree with you mostly, just not so much on the black things, because black history is so much more complex then that. I don't even know half of everything in my own history, because it wasn't taught to us, other than for that one year.

I know more about my Italian/White roots than I do my own Black ones, but I know enough to know that Black people don't want to come off as "Ghetto" or unintelligeble, but it's what they were left with after slavery, during it too. Now that's how they view themselves, because that's all they were ever told they were/will ever be.

Still. Not arguing with you, but now I've piqued my own interest lol.

[Rainbowmum]

My son certainly does not sound like that ,and trust me I have plenty of gay friends that don't either.
I think it is a matter of choice.

[ZackT]

I will say that out of the gay men I've talked to and met and been friends with, almost all of them had a voice that made you think that they were gay. It's like the OP said, there wasn't exactly a lisp, just something in the voice. Like their tone, I think.

However, clearly not all gay men have this. I don't have it, neither does Neil Patrick Harris as a famous example >)

[Gizzie]

I can understand what you are trying to say, but I know from experience that not all gay guys talk gay.
I know one guy who is the embodiment of "gay" and another guy that I wouldnt have noticed his sexuality unless it was pointed out to me.
Neither is wrong or right...Its just their poersonality