Need some advice...

[ulissesgr]

Hello... I'm a new here... The last 5 months i've been hanging out with a guy.. we started as friends later we both confessed that we like each other and started kissing etc... anyway few days afterthat i felt that he's been avoiding me and it was true... after that we met only 5-6 times as friends but it was not the same i felt like he was going out with me because he had to.. so later after a month when i was feeling really bad i txt him that i have a huge crush on him and i can't help myself, that i have true love feelings for him and not only sexual, he replied that he know about my feelings but he wants us to stay friends... so.. 5 days later he called me and we went out as we used to... and we were going out like the old times... but as friends.. i told him that i really like him.. we kissed couple of times after i confessed that i love him.. he said that he knows that but he cannot open his heart to me cause he is leaving the country in two months and doesn't know when he'll be back... i want your opinion... he keep saying all the time that he knows about my feelings.. so why he started to call me again after a month and half and going out with me when he knew about my feelings and he also knew that he doesn't want something more than friendship????? anyone more experienced please help me... i'm really thinking to start sessions with a shrink cause my mind is playing suicidal games...

[zeon]

hello,
I think he should receive some respect because his being open and honest about the fact that his going to be leaving the country soon. He could have if he wanted to get into a relationship lead you up the garden path and then drop you from a big height and go abroad which would seriously push you over the edge. When he returns why not then give it a go but until he comes back from abroad give him his space and later on in life if he comes back you can give it a go again however dont allow a guy to make you feel as though there is no one else because in life life consdists of loads of gay men and your find another person who your think is the besty thing since sliced bread

Kindest regards

zeon

[ulissesgr]

hello,
I think he should receive some respect because his being open and honest about the fact that his going to be leaving the country soon. He could have if he wanted to get into a relationship lead you up the garden path and then drop you from a big height and go abroad which would seriously push you over the edge. When he returns why not then give it a go but until he comes back from abroad give him his space and later on in life if he comes back you can give it a go again however dont allow a guy to make you feel as though there is no one else because in life life consdists of loads of gay men and your find another person who your think is the besty thing since sliced bread

Kindest regards

zeon

thank you Zeon... yeah.. you're right.. i thought of that after my stupid emotional explosion... i just don't know how to continue... can we be friends?? shall i wait for him to call me or i should do it??? it never happened to me... all my previous realtionships -2 only- were without any deep feelings and I never wanted to have any kind of relationship with them after we ended it... but now it's different... and i feel like a little child.. and i'm 25 for God's sake.... and feel so ashamed for asking the opinion of others.. but i can't ask the opinion of my friends on this cause they won't be objective with me....

[Nick9]

Hi and welcome to GS
My guess is that he likes you, maybe the same way you like him. But he knows he is leaving, so he tries not to hurt you (and himself) by getting involved too much and then leaving. But he doesn't want to break all the ties.

Ask him if he wants to stay in touch during his stay abroad (as friends) and you will see where those possible letters, emails, texts or calls will lead.
Good luck!

And btw. your city is just so beautiful... I wish I could go there again.

[ulissesgr]

Hi and welcome to GS
My guess is that he likes you, maybe the same way you like him. But he knows he is leaving, so he tries not to hurt you (and himself) by getting involved too much and then leaving. But he doesn't want to break all the ties.

Ask him if he wants to stay in touch during his stay abroad (as friends) and you will see where those possible letters, emails, texts or calls will lead.
Good luck!

And btw. your city is just so beautiful... I wish I could go there again.

thank you very much... i guess that's the best i have to do... I can say that i already feel a bit better.. thank you both of you zeon and Nic9 for spending some of your time to reply to my topic... P.S yes Nicosia is a nice place... just come again...

[Nick9]

I hope to see you around more often. Fingers crossed the things will work out with your friend.

[pellaz]

gay or straight men tend to be un certain on relationships, often sending conflicting signals.

[ulissesgr]

gay or straight men tend to be un certain on relationships, often sending conflicting signals.

thank you.. but I don't think that this is totally true... why would people do that? unless they don't know what they really want...

(it may be partly true but they don't do it on purpose... i guess...)

[zeon]

thank you Zeon... yeah.. you're right.. i thought of that after my stupid emotional explosion... i just don't know how to continue... can we be friends?? shall i wait for him to call me or i should do it??? it never happened to me... all my previous realtionships -2 only- were without any deep feelings and I never wanted to have any kind of relationship with them after we ended it... but now it's different... and i feel like a little child.. and i'm 25 for God's sake.... and feel so ashamed for asking the opinion of others.. but i can't ask the opinion of my friends on this cause they won't be objective with me....

Asking for help from random people on this planet is nothing to be ashamed of because its better to ask a stranger than suffer in silence... I think if you wish to be the one to make the first move to asking him about being friends it will be now to ask him before he goes altogether and you can potentially loose all touch

kindest r34egards

zeon x

[Rainbowmum]

Hi and welcome to GS.

There is not much I can add that the the others have not already said.
I know it's going to be very hard for you emotionally , to just go back to being friends, especially when you are still hoping for more.
But right now that is all your friend is willing to give of himself.

Sending you a huge hug