In need of reassurance

[ceez]

yea, space, time to grow, all that good stuff. sucks he lives so far away though, I would go with Orpanpips suggestion and find someone else in the meantime. a hand full of hot gay guys passed by you in the 2 years you chased after this one guy.

[dfiant]

G Day Poterau.

I too have my concerns. Your wishful thinking is so strong that you are confusing your friend even more than he needs to be confused. It sounds like he is only questioning his sexuality because you are constantly planting the seed of doubt in his mind. STOP doing that, it is cruel.

Every single person has the right to reconcile their sexuality in their own time and at their own pace without outside influences. It is confusing enough for some people to be questioning their sexuality without the added element and the contant pressure.

It is obvious that he cares very much about and he loves you as a friend, but leave him alone to reconcile with his sexuality on his own...your influence could end in DISASTER, at the very least he could end up hating you for what he would see as 'tricking' him into a relationship if he discovers that his feeling for you are nothing stronger than the love of a friend.

LateBloomers advice - DON'T date someone who is questioning their sexuality <-----THAT times 1 000 000

[Poterau]

A lot of people are saying that I could be the one imposing his self questions. I very well could be the reason, but there's only one thing that I can remember that would prove otherwise. He once told me that every time he got dumped, he would think to himself how much better off he would be to find a nice guy, but then he would quickly change the subject. Another thing that I failed to mention, due to forgetting about it, is that he finds sex with girls "disappointing". He also doesn't see anything special in breasts. The reason that I'm posting, is for him. He once told me that he would be insanely happy if him and I could ever get the chance to be together... Him being happy is top priority in my life, and hopefully one day I can make that happen for him

[pellaz]

gay or straight relationships are much the same and gay relationships are more the accepted thing.

If you force him into a relationship i wonder how good things might actually be. Both boys have to want the relationship.

I read your stuff and a question i have is what is his main reason for not wanting a gay relationship? does he have a consistent reason.

[Poterau]

Thank you for your concern!

He never really mentioned to me that he doesn't want a gay relationship, just if he IS gay/bi, he hasn't accepted/understood it yet. If he does know that he's interested in men, I believe he's not saying anything because of his dad. I'm only saying that because he doesn't want to give me a hug around his father, because he doesn't want to get "pestered". His father did do the correct thing and told him that he's happy with whatever sexual orientation may be.

His famous saying is "At the moment, I'm straight, but I might not be in the future".

So a quick answer to your question Pellaz ; He does not want a gay relationship at the moment, because he believes he is not attracted to men.

[LateBloomer]

Listen, he's gonna need some time.

Believe me: LateBloomer. Some of us need A LOT of time.

Your patience will pay off more than your persistence, but probably not in the way you think.

Not to get all ZEN and shit on you, but I've discovered when I try to manipulate things from my (assumed) superior and certain position I usually screw things up.

It's hard at your age (and I used to hate it when people used words like this) but you're gonna have to learn to deal with his ambiguity for longer than you'd like.

Best,
LB.

[Gizzie]

I agree that you shouldn’t date someone who is unsure of their orientation, especially since you are so into him for so long…
If he wants to be with you it should be his conscious choice to make…

[andaluzativo]

ok here is the thing, i think you are just wasting time with this guy, although him sending you the photo means he is up to sth and thinks sbout you, but you cannot spend your life waiting for him, go out ther have fun and meet other guys, maybe u'll make him jealous

[zeon]

hello,
I would say that by your post it sounds as though you are trying to pressure him into being gay. I would like to point out that being friends and pressuring one into a sexuality you want that person to be is two different things... Of course you have close ties with him since childhood however i would say that no matter how much you like him salvage the friendship for what it is rather than risk everything and have it go to waste over a quickie.,.. I think what may also be good is spending time together as friends and of course having a flirt isnt harmful and just let him know thaty your there as a friend to love and support him as a friend in life as you did as a kid with him

Kindest regards

zeon x