gilhooly Wrote:Tell everyone about the place you least liked to live
You know, it's a draw between Houston and San Francisco.
Houston was homophobic, though there was a gay friendly area (but plagued by gay bashers, though I'm glad to say I've heard it has gotten a lot less violent there now and Houston even elected a lesbian mayor). I found Houston violent and hateful, it's schools oppressive, I was locked up in a teen gulag there, and just so many bad memories, from living at home to being a runaway living on the streets. I'd once vowed to never set foot in Houston again, but I did (to visit Mom and Dad and ended up showing a friend from California around and seeing a movie there). But at least I never thought Houston was going to be a good place, I dreaded moving there from the very beginning (when I was 4).
I moved to San Francisco when I was 18 to get away from a bad situation and at the invite of a Russian American I know, and unlike Houston I really expected it to be a liberal (in the good way), open minded, gay-friendly area with plenty of neopagans (which I was one myself at the time).
Unfortunately, she and her other roomies were drug addicts and once they got me to making money they'd take it to blow on drugs and then expect me to work harder to cover the rent. I even took to hiding my money (I didn't have a bank account) and when they tore through my stuff looking for it (sometimes they found it, sometimes not) they wouldn't even have the decency to put my stuff back. I loathed them.
And I had bad experiences with people I met at random as well (which has never happened so much outside of Frisco so I know it wasn't "just me"). Like I barely braked in time to avoid hitting a pedestrian who jumped right out in front of me and at first I was relieved until he brought his fist down on the hood of my car (I bet he'd been too terrified to have done that if he thought I had a gun, but gave no thought that my car was a potential murder weapon, too...). Another incident I won't forget was how an old lady tried to cross into GGP only to not make it because the walk sign expected you to move fast and all the cars (which were legally obliged to give pedestrians the right of way, IIRC) wouldn't let her go either way while the car in front of her in the lane she blocked just blared his horn at her as if that would do a damn bit of good. I hit the Walk sign (because the light almost never changed unless someone hit the button) and made sure she got across really hating Frisco right then. And there were other jerks as well (most of them looking like executives, though as I say I also knew some drug addicts, and I was even threatened with organized crime once).
Though I laugh about it now, it was also the place where I learned perky goths can be evil. Having a car (a really bad Dodge Omni from the 80s--and this was 2001) I was called in to give others rides and most people seemed to think I was obligated to give them rides without thanking me, chipping in for gas, etc. And one perky loved to play this song over and over again until one day I had enough, ejected the tape and threw it under the seat. The next time it happened again and after I ejected the tape again she pulled another tape from her purse and put it in. When I asked her how many copies she had she said "a lot."
I met some neopagans but I found them humor-deprived (either that or their humor was mean) and decided I didn't want anything to do with them.
Like Houston, it wasn't all bad. I was amused by a dope dealer who tried selling me pot in Golden Gate Park while leaning against a "drug free zone" sign (and I got the impression he did it for the irony which made me inclined to like him, and he also remained friendly when I turned him down). An especially ironic exception was a self-proclaimed Satanist whom I trusted and respected as a decent human being, unlike most others I'd encountered, and she agreed with me that San Francisco was uncivilized (and I loved it that a SATANIST was telling me how bad a place was
).
But even Oakland (where I stayed at a flophouse desperate to get out of Frisco until I had enough money to move) was better to me (though I experienced jerks there, too, including the landlord or whatever who let himself into my room while I was sleeping, after I ignored his knocking as I was so tired from working hard to earn the money to leave).
I recall reading of a gun ban voted in San Francisco years later and at the time I thought they voted for the ban because they wanted to be jerks without having to worry about someone shooting them (that is, they didn't vote to ban guns because guns are bad, but because they are bad people).
After I left I swore I would never enter the city again and I kept that vow for many years, even more strictly than my vow to never return to Houston. But then a couple of years ago my partner was driving, she insisted on going through there as it was the most convenient way, and I agreed to it on the condition we got to see the musical Wicked which I wanted to see so bad. That time was much better. Despite the disappointment in missing Wicked (as we found out too late that one had to buy tickets weeks in advance, and the musical was leaving the city), I got to show the kids Golden Gate Park and the people were decent and everything was fine and we had fun. I feel less resistance to visiting Frisco again after that.
And I'm sure I just had bad luck the first time I was there (especially moving in with drug addicts), and jerks are always more visible than the better people. But my first experience of the city really sucked and it was all the worse for my high expectations when I moved there thinking how wonderful it was going to be.
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