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My Christmas present is getting me in trouble
#11
Thanks everyone, I liked all the ideas like the "totally not gay discount" from a friend who works at a shoe store! The Christmas gift exchange from a very generous co-worker, Santa, etc.
Thanks for the support too.
However East, I don't understand how coming out to these two homophobic twats (as someone put it nicely) would be a gift to myself? I thought that coming out felt good when you did it to people who were important to you and/or you cared about, so you could stop living a lie. All my friends know the truth, as do even most of my acquaintances, so do the family members that I love (I have a small family, so this included just a few people). I really don't care much for these two idiots, they barely pay me attention except to bring me down and I don't see how giving them more ammunition will make me happier.
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#12
Well...the thing about advice and opinions is that you are free to take what you need and leave the rest and this case is no different

My advice was based on years of experience...the very fact that you brought this up in the first place indicates that these people have power over you. In order to overcome that you need to take it back which means telling them the truth.

How they react is their problem...not yours.

That is just my opinion...it doesn't have to be yours. Good luck however you decide to handle it.
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#13
Person, I know this might not be a very popular solution, but have you considered NOT wearing said boots to your family reunions? Or do you live with them and can't hide them??? Maybe you could just avoid wearing them when your critical aunt is around and thus avoid personal embarrassment...? I also agree with East on why it is important not to give these people any power over your feelings and your personal life.
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#14
Secrets make us or keep us sick... AA 101.

Lies breed more lies - Old Wives 101.

The shoes are not getting you into trouble. Your mouth is....:o

You elected to tell a (one) little lie. That being either a lie of omission or outright falsehood of 'I am straight'.

This is going to lead to you having to tell other lies - I bought these shoes myself. in order to cover the lie about your being straight.

Now you are looking at how to break it to the aunt that you had 'extra' money hanging around - are we contemplating another lie?

Each time we tell a lie we usually end up having to support this 'new fact' with supporting 'facts' (more lies). the web eventually become very tangled, deception is a skill best left to experts....
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#15
Just tell them it's none of their business! You got new shoes and that's that.
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#16
I think some of you assume that if this was a "straight" relationship then there'd be no secrets. WRONG. If this gift was from a girl, I'd have similar complications. There'd be another 1000 questions I'd have to answer like: "What'd you get her?" "How much did the cashmere cost?" . The more info they got, the more they'd use it to bring me down and tear her down. So there's the need to lie regardless of the sexual orientation of my relationship.
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#17
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:deception is a skill best left to experts....
practice makes perfect! Biggrina

no but seriously, it may not always be the healthiest way to go about things,
but there's something to be said for avoiding confrontation sometimes.
I myself would usually rather keep my cards at my chest in such circumstances.
I grow too old to weather yet another "the gay is wrong/no it isn't" conversation with people,
especially with ones who mean nothing to me and vice versa.
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#18
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Dear gilhooly,

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#19
I would say

I work hard to play hard and in the process buy hardcore stuff as well so if u got an issue grab a tissue and sod off elsewhere lady!

its what i said once to someone lol
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#20
Best advice I can give you , is just smile , don't say a word.
A nice big smile , it will drive them crazy.:biggrin:
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