Strictly top or bottom?

[Gaydude3]

I feel like a minority and people tell me I'm being closed minded but I have a strong preference and want exclusive roles in a relationship. I don't like the idea of versatility.

Is there anyone else out there who gets that for me position and role is like an orientation and I don't want to have to do something I'm not into?

[BobInTampa]

Lord, you only have to log on to ANY of the gay dating/hook-up sites to figure out that at lease 65% of all the guys online are "total bottoms." So, to answer your question, there's nothign wrong about wanting to be "exclusively" eitehr a top or bottom. THAT SAID, you DO need to consider "romance" before you lock yourself into one label or the other.

If we're talking NSA sex, its cool to be one or the other, but when you ultimatly are looking for a long-term relationship, being a "total top" seeking a "total bottom" limits your pool of guys. I guess waht i'm saying is, are you willing to risk NOT meeting the love of your life because you ONLY date a total bottom and he happens to be versitle?

Thinking long-term is kinda critical - in my opinion.....just something to consider!

[fenris]

I feel like a minority and people tell me I'm being closed minded but I have a strong preference and want exclusive roles in a relationship. I don't like the idea of versatility.

Is there anyone else out there who gets that for me position and role is like an orientation and I don't want to have to do something I'm not into?

If you - and maybe your partner - are happy with exclusive roles it is OK for you / you both. Other people can tell their opinion... thats all.... It is your life and your relationship... nobody has to change your lifestyle because he ( or she ) thinks that it´s out or maybe wrong.

[pellaz]

and I don't want to have to do something I'm not into?

people just have to please their partner, try to flip the roles.

if you get no feeling bottoming, your the prostrate just not feeling it, general you become the total top.

[Sylph]

I feel like a minority and people tell me I'm being closed minded but I have a strong preference and want exclusive roles in a relationship. I don't like the idea of versatility.

Is there anyone else out there who gets that for me position and role is like an orientation and I don't want to have to do something I'm not into?

Interesting :o .

I personally do not mind gender roles/exclusive roles, because It's not like it literally makes you into that gender (in the case of being the "woman" )

I think people find gender/exclusive roles too limiting and perhaps don't like the idea of being one or the other, so versatility is a safe option. Everybody is different, so what works for you, won't always be what works for them.

My family thinks I'm a bottom(or more accurately a girl), because I'm not aggressive or competitive or anything else the other males in my family are. I prefer to sit with the ladies and talk or just read a book. People assume because I come across as feminine that I'm automatically going to be the bottom, and though it's probably going to happen, it's not an absolute.

Whatever works for you is what works and why should people, especially gay people, have a problem with someone outside of the norm?

I think that it's cute . You can put on an apron and oven mitts and pretend your the wife and he comes home with his brief case and bow tie and then he'll wisk you away to the bedroom and then you'll have babies .

But seriously, like Fenris's picture states, do what makes you happy, and what your most comfortable with, forget everyone else. You're living your life for you and to make you happy, so what other people think should not even take up 1% of your mental capacity .

[Nick9]

I think that it's cute . You can put on an apron and oven mitts and pretend your the wife and he comes home with his brief case and bow tie and then he'll wisk you away to the bedroom and then you'll have babies .

Seriously Odi, I'll send you the bill for cleaning my keyboard. You made me spill my drink :biggrin:

[DerJack]

Personally, I find it a bit odd to be so stubborn about such a thing... but for me, what I crave in a sexual relationship is to please the person who is pleasing me. I really really really like the idea of bottoming, but also fantasize still regularly about being on top. I guess I like versatility, but as everyone else here has said, if it's what makes you happy and it's not inflicting any harm on another individual, then seek it out, grab it and enjoy it for as long as you can. :biggrin:

[East]

In order to be a good top it helps to have been a rockin' bottom:biggrin:...I have been both so in life I have been versatile but for the past 26 years now I have been a total top....and I am fine with it. I would bottom if he wanted me to but we have had a great sex life with him being bottom. It works out perfectly for both of us and we are very compatible sexually.

If you have a preference there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I am in the minority being gay and absolutely not wanting anything to do with oral sex. You have to be true to yourself. Personally...I love total bottoms. I thank God for them:biggrin:

[George]

Whatever works for you mate, sex is sex and its sooo diverse so i dont think there is a right or a wrong way.

Personaly speaking i consider myslef versatile for some "practical" reasons. If im with a guy who have less bodyweight muscle mass and height than me then im top cause i can manauver him otherwise i bottom, of course im not 100% strict on that.

[Zet]

As long as you are not forced or forcing anyone else, I'd say don't limit your self