Question: Gays having strait sex

[seveneyes]

I am not gay, but I have questions about a couple issues that I do not think can be answered by anyone who isn't gay. My intention here is only to understand more and not to offend in any way. I am ignorant and please do not be offended by my ignorance. My questions are honest.

A little background: I am not gay, but have had gay sex. I was a hustler for about a year back in the 80's to support a nasty drug habit and so during that time, and others, I have been within and around the gay community to a moderate extent. I have on a few occasions actually been attracted to the same sex and acted on it. Although sexually not fulfilling for me, I did enjoy making out. I have never climaxed as a result of having sex with the same sex as I am not gay, however have had at least some romantic feelings for a few men along the way.

I am wondering if most Gay people do in fact have romantic feelings for the opposite sex at times? It is my belief that every gay person, if asked if they would ever, eagerly, make an exception and have sex with an opposite sex partner, they would. Like if there was one Hollywood star of the opposite sex that you could have sex with right now and love it, who would it be? -If I was gay, I would say Brittany Spears, and you are all fools if you wouldn't say the same thing! -Anyway...

The second part of my question is this: If there is an attraction to certain types of women (or men) however specific or rare, and clearly for most people there is a deep rooted desire for family, do you think that it is possible that you could ever be in a healthy heterosexual relationship, maybe start a family and remain committed to the opposite sex partner, regardless of sexual propensity, resulting in a continued loving, respectful and mutually nurturing marriage that ended with companionship in old age, and the posterity of a family tree beneath you both?

-I guess the real question is: Do you think it is possible that there is one of the opposite sex who might be a perfect fit for you emotionally, physically and spiritually?

Third. Do any of you know of any couples who are of the opposite sex, who are both gay who have been friends for so long that they are more like family, who decided to start a family together with the deep love of friendship as their root, rather than romance. -I would think that dating would still happen, outside of the relationship and monogamy would not be the basis of the relationship at all, just family.

Oh and one more thing. When I was a hustler, slowly I developed a lisp that I couldn't control. It subsequently went away (it took a while), but it seemed like my hormones changed as a result of having gay sex. It was very strange. Anyone had any experience similar or know what this may be about?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I can't answer for most gays. There has been some interesting research that suggests that humans are predominately bisexual by nature. Most of us are technically bisexual, not really straight or gay. Only a very few of us are 100% hetero or homo.

I suspect that I am about 90% homosexual with a 10% hetero leaning. Thus I most likely could perform with a woman and this explains why I was actually attracted to two women and seriously considered the whole 'turning straight' thing. They were lesbians thus the chances of that actually happening were very low. even then my attraction wasn't very lusty, it was more intellectual and emotional than sexual.

Breasts and vagina actually turn me off. I have watched straight porn - it doesn't do anything for me until the guy with the big dick comes on screen. My focus is him not her. But then she moans and it kind of blows the whole deal for me.

I am not most people, I do not have any desire to have children, have a family, raise kids, have that big house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, blah. I barely tolerate most children. I actually believe Vulgaria would be a wonderful place to live, the streets all nice and tidy with all the children hidden away in the sewers. Great place.

Vulgaria, the place that the family of no-good-doers in Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang go to and do that terrible revolt, releasing a plague of children to destroy a once great civilization. Sad story. :tongue:

I am the end of my mother's line. I would be the end of my father's line had he not married 5 women (not at the same time... mostly) and had he not stuck his dick in every hole he could find. I recently learned I have yet one more half sibling who contacted me via Facebook to inform me that she was actually my father's daughter - yet one more kid he created and took no responsibility for. At last count he has had 11 children. 4 with my mother (three of which have died, leaving me) 2 with his 4th wife and the other 5 with one night passionate affairs, extra marital affairs and Lord only knows what else. These other 5 have popped up in my life, the first couple of times I was surprised, this latest is no surprise to me at all. :o

I suspect there is a few more individuals out there who were sired by my father.

Yeah there is a good reason why I frown on the whole notion of family and marriage in general, my father's example of love, commitment, relationships and responsibility to his offspring has left a deep impression on me. At least my mother only married twice, sticking with her current philandering husband no matter how many times he 'accidentally' has an affair.

I do not know of any gay couples (Lesbian/Gay Man) who decided to throw in the towel, marry and have a life together. I do, however, know gay men/lesbians who have entered into contracts and have done what was needed (yes even the old fashion way) to have offspring together. This appears to work for them.

My self proclaimed faghag has on more than on occasion expressed her desire to have me wank off and she would take a turkey baster to do 'the deed'. She believes I have the right genetic material to make beautiful children with.

I love her dearly, I would go on a never ending quest to save her, climbing tall mountains, swimming vast seas - but have sex with her? Sister, Please! :biggrin:

I lived in Kentucky half my childhood (being shipped back and forth between parents, mostly by the States that yanked me out of a parents home for abuse and send me to other parent - there was a serious lack of communication between the states back then). As a result I picked up a Kentuckian southern drawl. When I am tired my mouth slips back to saying things like 'as the crow flies' and discussing hallars and cricks instead of valleys and creeks. My 'southern lisp' becomes more pronounced and its easier to detect that I was at one time a southern hick.

This has nothing to a change in my hormones.

Your lisp came from hanging around lisping homosexuals. It most likely was understood as some level inside of you to be an asset in your profession. After all guys knowing you were gay was most likely a greater attraction thus scored you more clients. Thus you affected (as in affectation) the use of the lisp and most likely many picked up idioms from the gay community in order to 'fit in' and score more clients.

As with any bad habit, once you affect something it becomes hard to break.

Its no different than a Northerner going to the south to live for a while thus picking up the idioms and even the twang of the south.

[azulai]

I'm not offended by your post but it sounds vaguely familiar. mile: Have you posted here before? Maybe fishing for a blog or something? ex-gay therapy or something? Curious username, too -- trying to claim some divinity?

I am gay.

I've never had romantic feelings for the opposite sex. I think some women are beautiful but have no desire to see them without clothes. I respect women very much; they generally have a soft determined strength and an intuitive intelligence.

But, their naked form does not turn me on. Breasts are not interesting to me unlike the stereotypical gay-boob obsession. And, the vulva/vagina are not attractive to me.

So, NO. It would NOT be possible for me to ever be in a healthy heterosexual relationship. I only want sex in the context of love. The little bells and whistles only go off to men.

It would be unfair and wrong for me to use someone or allow myself to be used to procure what you are implying as "traditional marriage."

No, I do not think it is possible that there is one of the opposite sex who might be a perfect fit for me emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I only want a man and only desire a man emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I currently have a very happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship with another man. I'm pretty content, dude. So, no thanks to whatever you're selling. :biggrin:

[TomStatic]

when i was in high school
i use to have crushes on a few girls
like my heart would race and all when i seen them
but then when id make out with a girl noting happens down there so yeah
i was like hmm theres a problem haha

[Pix]

I am wondering if most Gay people do in fact have romantic feelings for the opposite sex at times? It is my belief that every gay person, if asked if they would ever, eagerly, make an exception and have sex with an opposite sex partner, they would. Like if there was one Hollywood star of the opposite sex that you could have sex with right now and love it, who would it be? -If I was gay, I would say Brittany Spears, and you are all fools if you wouldn't say the same thing!

Lesbian here.

There are certainly guys I'm close to. Personally, despite a common misperception that lesbians are man haters, I think it's easier for many lesbians to have close relationships with men than straight and bi women because we don't have to put up with so much male drama (and we can sympathize with their having to put up with female drama).

But romantically speaking for myself, it is near impossible, and I think impossible in the long term. Though I've experienced rare longing for a male (I used to say I was "90% lesbian" and now I'm more inclined to say "99% lesbian"), it never lasts. Though I've fooled around with men before (all when I was 21 and younger, and I'm 29 now), there were only 2 men that I actually became both aroused and romantically attached to. In both cases the feelings quickly faded, though I remember them both fondly. Interesting enough, one was an androgynous cross dresser, and though I'd never settled with him exclusively, I think I'd have been willing to have had a polyamorous relationship with him on the side assuming any partner of mine was ok with that (as it is, no partner was ok with my being with him, especially after hearing of our past, and I've lost contact with him years ago).

As for celebrities, I did have a childhood crush on Rogue of Cruxshadows, though in retrospect I'm not sure if there was any element of lust involved but perhaps more just of a fascination.

do you think that it is possible that you could ever be in a healthy heterosexual relationship, maybe start a family and remain committed to the opposite sex partner, regardless of sexual propensity, resulting in a continued loving, respectful and mutually nurturing marriage that ended with companionship in old age, and the posterity of a family tree beneath you both?

Not really. I mean anything is possible, but I feel sad imagining this for myself.

Do you think it is possible that there is one of the opposite sex who might be a perfect fit for you emotionally, physically and spiritually?

Anything is possible, of course, but if so I've yet to meet such a person.

Interesting enough, I used to know a lesbian who claimed to be bisexual (I consider her a lesbian). She was a pure gold star lesbian but one day met a man and for some bizarre reason fell head over heels in love and lust with him. As annoying as the idea was, maybe this was the "right man" who would turn her straight, and he certainly seduced her into his bed quickly enough. But unfortunately he treated her like crap, cheated on her, and dumped her after like a couple of months, so her soul mate he was not. After that she went back to women and because of that one fluke (she has never been attracted to another guy since) insisted on calling herself bi. But had he been a good guy then she very well may be married to him now as you described (or maybe it was just temporary insanity and she'd have left on her own, I don't know).

Do any of you know of any couples who are of the opposite sex, who are both gay who have been friends for so long that they are more like family, who decided to start a family together with the deep love of friendship as their root, rather than romance. -I would think that dating would still happen, outside of the relationship and monogamy would not be the basis of the relationship at all, just family.

I've heard of this, but I don't personally know anyone like that. I have heard that a common practice in Russia (which is hostile to gays and lesbians) is for a gay man and lesbian to marry as social cover and both lead secret gay lives (sometimes with other married gays & lesbians).

When I was a hustler, slowly I developed a lisp that I couldn't control. It subsequently went away (it took a while), but it seemed like my hormones changed as a result of having gay sex. It was very strange. Anyone had any experience similar or know what this may be about?

When I was a 15-year-old runaway I hung around a lot of hustlers and child prostitutes, male and female. I've never known a straight boy who had sex with men (or the one lesbian I knew who also turned tricks with men) to have changed in the way you described or any other way that would suggest their orientation or gender identity or whatever had been affected. There was one boy who was very talented (and popular as a boy prostitute) as a social chameleon and could adapt his persona to the sitch, but when he was with us he dropped his mask (or at least put on a different mask he saved for us).

With very few exceptions it was normally hard on them all, however, including the gay boys (and straight girls) who turned tricks with men, and I do hope your experiences don't haunt you.

Also, my understanding is that straight males could climax with men though it was very difficult (and I've personally heard of enough one night stands with someone not normally compatible with one's sexual orientation from both gay and straight people and they sometimes even said they had fun with it, even if it would never happen again, or even if they felt shame at it they still got off on it).

Anyway, welcome to GS. mile:

[Mattycrawf]

I am gay also. The straightest gay guy I know.

Before there was straight and gay terms thrown onto the idea. Everyone was having relations with everyone else.

Humans are just sexual in nature. Im attracted to girls.Whoever my starseed is whether it be male or female. Will be my perfect puzzle piece fit regardless. Cause personally im attracted to personality and conversation other than what they can do to me in a sexual nature.

When you put a cap on your capacity to love, your limited to just be loved by that group. We should all love each other. Gay, straight, old, young, male, female, all races. We are afterall sharing this world.

In closing ive had sex with several 'straight' guys and several 'straight' girls. Does that make me straight. NO cause I love guys every guy. I just make girls feel beautiful and swoon them with my debonair charms. And in turn they love me.

So I have the best of both worlds im Matty Matty baby daddy to the girls and Matthew to the men ;p dont put a cap on love, its not worth it. Love everyone all people just find out who does it for you sexually.

[MindsMight]

For me, the idea of being a life-long companion with a woman doesn't sound too terrible. A lifelong friend, someone to chat with, share ideas with, debate with etc. is desirable to most people. However, what I've noticed with my best friend (she is an amazing gal) is that even though we are perfect together, amazing friends, I still feel lonely without a man. I've never yearned for that type of love from a female, no matter how brilliant, hilarious and amusing they are. I've never been in romantic love with a woman before, and I don't anticipate it changing anytime soon.

In terms of raising a family, whether or not I desire to procreate or adopt is still up in the air. I can think of several times when I said to myself: "my kids won't grow up with this." or "I'll send them to a good school, not a bad one.." But I'm also tackled with the urge to live for myself for awhile. I have a tendency to live vicariously too much and I don't want to live the rest of my life in such a manor. In short terms: I don't want to have kids until(unless) that's the only thing I'm focused on doing and right now I don't.

A friend of mine left to the Air Force for awhile and when he came back his voice had changed as a result of working with a group of friends from the east coast.

[seveneyes]

Wow people! Thank you so much for your honest, in depth responses! -Someone asked if I had been here before and the answer is a humble, honest, no. This is a first for me on any gay forum.-

Ok, so I am seeing answers crossing over a full spectrum. It makes me wonder about the hard line "no way" answers. Are you guys more of feminine guys, and for the gals who are like no way to the passion pole, are you gals more masculine? I wonder if there is some correlation there or if the same spectrum of responses will occur...

I personally can get aroused physically, but emotion, spiritual connectivity and romance supercharge my sex drive. In fact, (I am 42) I rarely will orgasm with another human being anymore at all unless I feel a deep connection to the person. I have only had one incredibly deep relationship in my life and after her, everything changed for me. With her, I experienced this supercharging effect upon my body that began solely from the spiritual/emotional side. The woman I loved did not have the perfect body, she was normal and a little overweight. I would not normally desire such a body (although her face and smile were/are epic), but it was the connection that we shared that made my body do with her what it will not do for anyone else. So for me, I have changed over the years from horny billy goat, to where only the spiritual/emotional draws my sexual attention. -part of me feels like I am totally fucked up, the other side of me is glad, cause so many strait women are trifling b*tch*s, and I no longer are enslaved by their furry leg holders....lol

Anyway, keep the responses coming. I am loving them!

Bye the way. The lisp I had developed didn't come from being around alot of other lispy men. My business hours were kept far away from my normal life. None of my friends were gay (except one) at the time. The rest were all like other druggies, like heavy metal and punk rock guys who would have pretty much freaked if they knew I was turning tricks. To me it really felt like my hormones were being effected, however I remember being paranoid that my friends would find me out and think I was gay. This would have the effect of my trying very hard not to exhibit any gay seeming qualities, which in turn seemed to inevitably cause me to inadvertently exhibit the traits even more... does that make sense?
I do remember being really freaked out because I could swear my hormones were changing and the traits eventually were completely out of my control, even around friends. The lisp, the wrist, all of it, but I was strait...:frown:

[fenris]

As one of the founding father of gay lifestyle I want to say.....

If you feel you are straight... you can maybe have sex with a man...but you will never feel the same feelings a gay man for a man can have....

As bisexual ...both is possible

As gay... you can maybe have sex with a women but you will never feel the same feelings a straight man for a woman can have....

But no rule without exception : As straight man you can have a very strong friendship to another straight, bi or gay man... and you can have sex with him without any problems. I don´t know if the thing works when a gay man has a good friendship with a woman... but I can´t see any problem which would make it impossible. But in both cases its more sports and friendship as relationship :-)

The problems come up if you MUST have sex with someone ...maybe for money... or in the worst case by rape.

Another different case is - like I wrote before - if someone needs body contact for his soul... many people have fears just before this case. It needs that someone show his soul.. his feelings and so on. I want to write it again... because it is a good example.... a straight friend of my slept a long time - ever when he visited me - on my breast, he slept like a baby because he wasn´t in a relationship for years, felt alone and needed the near.... first time he woke up with a face red like a tomato.... but then it was Ok.... just my man said that "my baby slobbers " :-)

Between adult people all things are possible and OK if both want it.. problems comes up if this rule is broken...maybe by "needed money" or whatever.

[Pix]

for the gals who are like no way to the passion pole, are you gals more masculine?

I see myself as balanced, leaning more toward feminine, and I've been called a "soft butch" before (though I'm fully capable of going all femme when I wish to, and sometimes I genuinely want to).

For a few years as a small child I ended up being forced to play with boys when in my neighborhood and I did that pretty well...but I did once get in trouble for convincing a boy to play dress up with me, and I felt such a relief when a girl my age & grade moved in nearby who was also shunned (so we became natural friends) as I really missed the girly things.

I was a tomboy growing up, and when I got to choose I got my hair cut short (my 'rents usually wouldn't take me to get my hair cut and Granny wanted me to grow it out so it wasn't always short). When I was 17-18 I lived a very rustic lifestyle off the grid and so my tomboyish traits were encouraged. When I left for San Francisco, and then Southern Kali, I continued being a tomboy (though I experimented with my own styles, meaning I paid more attention to my looks and clothes than a lot of guys do), and I was very athletic, so I was sometimes called a "boi" (and "baby dyke") by lesbians. That said I was easygoing to the point that my girlfriends at the time--feminine more often than not--normally were the dominant one, though if they got too controlling then I bailed.

That changed when I hooked up with a stud (a masculine type of lesbian) at 22 who insisted I become more feminine. I did and found I liked it (though we were versatile sexually). That it helped me socially in so many ways including in my biz only encouraged me to keep it up even after we broke up years later.

Now I'm pretty much both. I take care of kids (including professionally at times), I cook, clean, sew, I generally prefer girly movies (with the exception of vampires--I like vampires scary, not romantic), and I like my Strawberry Shortcake blanket. OTOH I take care of the car (though I hate driving), computer, yard, and get into light saber duels with my little boy, and I continue to be athletic, including the practice of archery and shooting. I'm said to be very good with tools and easily assemble furniture and also a bicycle for my boy once. The way I see it I am what is needed when it's needed.

If you believe in astrology then I'm told my chart explains my m/f duality: Libra sun & Venus, Sag Mars & Moon, Leo ascendant...that's all I remember offhand, save Pluto was in Libra.