Would love to know.

[cyoung112]

I know this may sound weird, but I've truly been questioning my sexuality lately. I grew up very religious, I even liked girls, and have always believed that I would have a wife someday. However, since middle school, I've had sexual feelings towards guys and have even really liked some guys. As embarrassing as it is, I really like to look at guys in their underwear and really nice looking guys turn me on. Throughout high school, I had two girlfriends for short times. I've been single since my junior year of high school. I have pursed one woman, but it never turned into anything. I've since continued to be attracted to guys on TV and in real life. Time has passed and I realize that I am more attracted to men than women. I spend more time looking at guys and I have recently started to go to a gay club. I enjoy going and have actually met a few guys. I did feel chemistry with both and made out, but did nothing else. I really like them both. Since then, I feel like there is a war going on inside me. I feel like I could be gay and willing to accept it and other times I feel like I shouldn't be or it's just wrong. There is a part of my that would love a relationship with a guy, but I'm not sure about this. I sometimes don't want to think of myself as gay or even admit that I like guys, but I do know that I have a strong attraction to guys. Is anyone willing to share a story about your experience or tell me what your opinion is. That would be great! Thanks!

[pellaz]

your gay
-I am thinking this because you have demonstrated you could be functional in a gay relationship. Sexually you are turned on too. Dont be attracted to it as a cult but attempt to come out to it your self. Trust me it is most important figure this out about you as a person for any type of successful relationship in life. Dont put if off.
-try not to put labels on this because people tend to be fluid. Become or be comfortable with who you are.
-in society being gay is definitely not wrong. The average person you will want you to be happy with your self but your sexuality is really dont care for them. There will not be same sex marriage here till they repeal amendment 2 but there are functional employment laws. Its very accepted.
-try this stuff:
glbtcolorado.org/ //good place to volunteer
outboard.org/ //whats left of the connexion forum
denverstdclinic.org/ //free stuff you need
dignitydenver.org/ //you said you were religious
dazbog coffee 1201 e 9th av denver
geeze louise coffee 2924 e colfax av denver
//the Cap Hill neighborhood is gay friendly so Colorado west to Broadway, 6th ave north to 30th ave
the gym; 24 hour fitness Colorado & Alamedia

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You are yet one more victim of a society that insists that heterosexuality is the only way to go.

This is not altogether true, in fact it is just plain wrong.

Religion is a bad thing. It says so six times in the bible where God condemns religion. Of course The church or any church for that matter will not admit to it, it kind of puts a huge hole in their boat.

Understand that for 2000 years (roughly) Christianity has been used as a way to control people. The whole idea of a church, an organized religion was founded with a desire to control people, to be a political institution to set laws and make demands of the masses. Much of the 'truth' that the Church has seeded through the centuries has been at best wrong, if not directly contrary to what the Word Says.

It is difficult for anyone to discern the difference between Doctrine (Man's interpretation of the bible which is often contrary to what the bible says) and Spirituality.

We are discovering now that the Church lied. Big time.

One large, horrible 'truth' came out not too long ago: http://www.jinxiboo.com/blog/2009/5/3/wh...-rite.html The Church has been having issues with facts. Deny it as much as it can, the fact is that early Christians, those who where not brain washed by thousands of years of powerful, greedy control freaks had a much wider understanding of love and God's will.

I do not know God's plan for you.

I do know that God frowns on sex for the sake of sex alone. Gay, bi, straight sex for the sake of lust alone is not 'good'. Sex in the context of love - God appears to have no problem with - regardless of your orientation or who you are in love with.

There is reason to believe that love - yes even gay love, is not an issue. Jesus himself most likley blessed a gay couple! :o Sounds shocking I know.

http://www.gaychristian101.com/Gay-Centurion.html Explains it.

Johnathan and David were either bi or gay. If you take the story and read it with open eyes, without the interpretation and doctrine the Church puts on it, it suddenly reads like a gay romance, up to and including the point where David 'exceeded'. David was blessed, he went on to become the King of Israel.

Ruth and Naomi, Two lesbians in love.

The bible condemns a lot, while there are 6 verses that are used to demonstrate that homosexuality may be bad, there are about 365 other verses admonishing heterosexuals. Its not that they are worse than us, they just need more guidance.

Sadly long ago the Bible was weaponized and has been used to punish and torture and justify a lot of bad behaviors against minorities. The Crusades and the Inquisition are just two examples of this. You are currently living in a period of time where Gays are pretty much the last people that the bible is used to beat.

This is changing, more and more organized churches are changing their tune and are reexamining the concept of love over the whole nature of lust.

I do not know God's plan for you. I do know that God doesn't want you to make yourself suffer. Jesus said, Love thy neighbor as thyself. This means you should love yourself.

How can a man love himself if he believes he is wrong in something as so fundamental as who he loves? He can't.

Time and time again I have heard personal stories of people who when face to face with their own personal demons and considered their homosexuality to be one of those demons, they asked God to take it all away. Everything else was removed from them, but they remained gay - even met life long partners and had relationships that were blessed.

Love is sacred and holy, regardless of who you love. If that love is true, it is blessed. Gays are blessed, Straights are blessed if their love is true.

[Nick9]

Thank you, B.A.

[DerJack]

I know this may sound weird... I even liked girls, and have always believed that I would have a wife someday. However, since middle school, I've had sexual feelings towards guys and have even really liked some guys. Throughout high school, I had two girlfriends for short times... Time has passed and I realize that I am more attracted to men than women.

First off: This does NOT sound weird, you're in the right place, we all understand the feelings, and trust me, they are not WEIRD, they are amazing and as you come to accept yourself, you will be able to recognize this more and more...

You are yet one more victim of a society that insists that heterosexuality is the only way to go.

Second: I would like to mention that your experience through adolescence is very common, I believe most adolescent children due to a rush of hormones could be classified as pansexual... and more often these days this is even taught to some children as normal (though often in a fashion downplaying the possibility of homosexuality i.e. "Don't worry those dreams you have about boys are normal, because you're going through some changes right now, but with time those urges will diminish..."). I know I had very similar experiences, leading me to convince myself for several years that I truly was bisexual... it wasn't until recently that I realized the simple truth... that I am a homosexual.

As embarrassing as it is, I really like to look at guys in their underwear and really nice looking guys turn me on.

And third: Though I feel it not quite so embarassing... I do whole-heartedly agree that men look attractive in underwear and that good looking guys turn me on!! :biggrin:

Lastly welcome to the forum, I hope you find all the answers you seek within.

[dfiant]

I definately think you are at a cross roads where what you feel and what is expected of you are in conflict, it is a process that is not foreign to most of us, so you are not alone in feeling this way

Be patient, let the process take its course, follow your heart, back it up with your mind and the other peices of the puzzle will fall into place for you.

I wish you all the best and welcome you to Gayspeak

[Sylph]

Everyone else has pretty much said it all, but remember this if you can;

You are a human being first.

It doesn't matter if you like boys or girls or trannies or whatever... at the end of the day your still a human first.

As long as you are respectable, compassionate, and yourself, why should anything else matter? As long as you don't become a child molestor or rapist/murderer, you should be able to be who you are and not have to worry about judgement.

You only got one life, so live it.
Be a Queen, Be Macho, Be Purple, Be whatever; As long as you Be You.

Don't let people and their opinions get in the way of living your life the way that makes you truly happy.
.

(oh and welcome )

[pellaz]

take care not to be homophobic while all this is in play.

[Gizzie]

It doesn't sound weird, and you should take all the time you need to feel comfortable with what ever it is that is going on inside you. You will feel a lot better in the end. Good luck

[Rainbowmum]

Some times living a lie can be comfortable for a while , it can even trick you into believing you are the same as everyone else in the hetro world.

That being said , you can't bury the truth for ever , nor can you remain in denial.

Why is living the lie done ?
For acceptance from a group of people that are in denial themselves .

You are Gay , be proud of it , accept yourself and embrace it.