Accepting being lonely.
04-20-2012, 02:17 AM
Alright,
So a few weekends ago I went out to an event, I ended up driving myself mostly because it was a last minute thing. So I got to the event, met up with friends had fun, but as soon as the party was over, it was time to go home.
It always sucks when the party is over obviously, but it sucks even more if your going home by yourself, with yourself.
The drive back was pretty long and boring, I had music on, but I had no one to talk to. A few things kind of drifted into my mind.
I felt very jealous of my friends who have significant others who have them to go home to or with. Someone who'll be there with them in bed. Someone who'll get them a glass of water because of the huge hangover you'll have the next morning. Someone who'll drive for you them when they've had a few too many. Someone who'll annoy them to get out of bed so they can get their ass to work.
Then for some reason I just shrugged it off and said, "I'll probably never get to experience that stuff. It's probably something that will never happen to me."
Of course I felt a bit sad and dejected, but then I just accepted it. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Giving up so early in the game? I don't know after that weekend I've just come to accept it and not really care much about the idea of me being in a relationship of any sort.
It's been years since I've been in one, and the ones in between have never lasted longer than a month. Even the first one didn't last for very long either. So it's safe to assume that I've never been in a long-term relationship before.
Oh well, this is probably my fate and I'll gladly accept it if it's meant to be.
Sorry just thinkin' out loud. I don't really know where else I could post stuff like this to, specially now that I've permanently deleted Facebook :eek:
So a few weekends ago I went out to an event, I ended up driving myself mostly because it was a last minute thing. So I got to the event, met up with friends had fun, but as soon as the party was over, it was time to go home.
It always sucks when the party is over obviously, but it sucks even more if your going home by yourself, with yourself.
The drive back was pretty long and boring, I had music on, but I had no one to talk to. A few things kind of drifted into my mind.
I felt very jealous of my friends who have significant others who have them to go home to or with. Someone who'll be there with them in bed. Someone who'll get them a glass of water because of the huge hangover you'll have the next morning. Someone who'll drive for you them when they've had a few too many. Someone who'll annoy them to get out of bed so they can get their ass to work.
Then for some reason I just shrugged it off and said, "I'll probably never get to experience that stuff. It's probably something that will never happen to me."
Of course I felt a bit sad and dejected, but then I just accepted it. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Giving up so early in the game? I don't know after that weekend I've just come to accept it and not really care much about the idea of me being in a relationship of any sort.
It's been years since I've been in one, and the ones in between have never lasted longer than a month. Even the first one didn't last for very long either. So it's safe to assume that I've never been in a long-term relationship before.
Oh well, this is probably my fate and I'll gladly accept it if it's meant to be.
Sorry just thinkin' out loud. I don't really know where else I could post stuff like this to, specially now that I've permanently deleted Facebook :eek:
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Pisces
