Grr!!! Why are people such jerks (humerous rant)

[Puck]

I'm sorry if my post read that way. I was trying to put it to you from his perspective - or how he could take it.

No..you have nothing to be sorry for. I took your words out of context. Sometimes its hard to glean one's true intentions over the internet. My apologies for flying off the handle mile:

[Pix]

A guy told me he did the same thing with very different results. The woman thanked him excitedly when he gave her a bag of food. The reason the incident stuck with him was because he went back to his motel room feeling like a sucker that he couldn't just ignore her and flipped open the motel Bible at random and it instantly came to the Bible verse where Jesus said anything you do onto others you do onto him (that part is beside the point but I'm throwing it in just in case you're Christian).

I've given things to the homeless and worked with them in different ways and I've had plenty of good & bad experiences. I've never had your experience, though a friend of mine told me she was nearly attacked (and believes the only reason she wasn't was because she hit the gas pedal in her car and got away) when she offered some food (out her car window) to a guy with a sign "will work for food" (btw, this is known as "working the sign" and may or may not be honest).

I've offered food before but have been rejected. Actually that was only once, and she wasn't mean about it she just wasn't interested (which was when I knew she was lying about starving). I got more hostility from a 9/11 charity that was raising money for 9/11 victims and I donated food as I wasn't sure the charity wasn't a scam and whether I had them pegged right or they just found it inconvenient they were less than gracious about accepting my donations.

As for the homeless, I don't care if they spend money I give them on drugs (including legal ones) as I figure whatever makes their life easier (be it food or smokes or pot or whatever) is fine by me. I just don't like the ones who decide I'm a sucker and try to play me or act obnoxious (like acting like I'm obligated to give them money) in other ways.

When I was a runaway I was sometimes sent with the panhandlers as I was small for my age so we and other young kids, mostly girls, would sometimes take a bus uptown and panhandle at the mall as there were very generous people there, especially among the elderly. Usually we claimed to be kids who ran out of money who were hungry and needed bus fare (as saying we were runaways would get security and the police on us real fast, and even pretending to be irresponsible kids who just ran out of money was risky), and a couple of times someone would buy us food which we'd happily accept (after all that saved us from having to buy our own food) and I don't recall any of us being offended by it (we snatched up any free samples at the food court, too). Of course we were kids and unlike adults kids are USED to adults making choices for them, so maybe some adults would see it differently.

We really despised C-House (C=Covenant), too, because they reported our squats to the cops and anyone under 18 who went for help (even just medical) got the cops called on them (though the cops were often apathetic so it was sometimes possible to get away before they showed up nearly an hour later). Nevertheless they drove a van around that gave out free sack lunches and we very eagerly took what they offered (and at least I was grateful for it), though we were careful not to tell them anything we didn't want the cops to know.

Anyway, I don't think you did anything bad. You did good, it was him who was the jerk (possibly too mentally ill to function). And while I see BA's point, I'd think anyone who was reduced to begging for money would accept food as well (I know I would, even if I couldn't eat it for some reason I'm sure I'd know someone else or their pet who'd like it). Don't let one guy make you view an entire group that way.

[Rainbowmum]

I would not let one act discourage you from doing good.
Personally I would like to thank you for reaching out and caring.
East is right , he may have a mental illness.

Personally I always ask them if they would like me to buy them some food, if they don't I give them some money, who am I to judge them.

Most people look down on them as if they are sub human, they avoid eye contact at all costs.
I have seen it and it disgusts me , it's shocking how judgmental people can be.

If you get a chance listen to this song, the part on the homeless is very powerful.

Lazyboy - Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

[dfiant]

I may be cold, heartless or whatever, but my own personal thoughts on homelessness as with life in general...IF people are genuine about about help, then they would be the first to try and help themselves and that is when, and only when I would offer anyone a hand up because as far as I am concerned that is when someone has TRUELY hit rock bottom.

Your homeless friend hadn't hit rock bottom yet and doesn't realise that he NEEDS help, he was looking for a hand out to fuel his addictions.

You did your best, but I would have throw the food back at him and then told him to have a shower, but that's just me....just saying

[brybry87]

Wintermoon,

If it makes you feel any better. One time my best friend and I were driving and we came to a stop where this guy was panhandling [asking for $]. He had a sign and everything, but we had a green light, so we couldn't really stop and hold traffic.

So my friend at that time was living in her car and had random groceries in there. She had like canned soup and ramen. We felt bad and wanted to give him food, but we couldn't stop so while we were zooming pass him we threw a can of soup and a cup of noodles at him.

Hahaha, at that time we weren't thinking, we thought we were being nice. We always wondered if the can hit him or not..

<___<

[East]

We felt bad and wanted to give him food, but we couldn't stop so while we were zooming pass him we threw a can of soup and a cup of noodles at him.

Hahaha, at that time we weren't thinking, we thought we were being nice. We always wondered if the can hit him or not..

Wow... did you actually think you were being nice? I feel really sad after reading that.

[brybry87]

We really wanted to give him food instead of money, but we couldn't stop. We didn't do it to be mean.

[East]

We really wanted to give him food instead of money, but we couldn't stop. We didn't do it to be mean.

If you put yourself in his shoes and imagine how it must feel to be in his shoes...and then having someone throw food at you....it might help. A little empathy when none exists can go a long way.

[brybry87]

Alright,

I'm not saying what we did was the right way, but we didn't do it in spirit of being assholes. We were hoping he caught it and used it.

[Pix]

He'd need his own pan if he was to use it (ramen noodles has to be heated in water, soup has to be heated), and of course a can opener unless the soup was a ring-pull can. Some homeless do have these things (or at least know someone who does) but many don't.