Confronting my friend. Need advice.

[HeyItsKen]

Last Saturday one of my good friends had his Prom. For the after party few of us went over to his house and got wasted. I drank the most. The friend that I'm talking about (Ben) had maybe 5 shots. He's a tall, slim guy. So I'm not sure how much 5 shots can exactly affect someone. Basically, I was so wasted I had no idea what I was doing most of the time, but I was sober enough even after drinking almost a whole bottle of Whiskey that I knew what happened that night. Ben and I crashed in the guest room, he was tired, and I was done for the night because well, I was wasted. We talked a little about this girl downstairs and I was like go get with her. He said I should right, and well basically, somehow, he said kiss me, and well we got it on. I gave him a blowjob, he gave me one but I never came, he did. Basically, I'm going to talk to him about it. I'm not 100% that he knows what happened. I texted him that we need to talk about Saturday. He first said "Talk about what?", and I said "I'm sure you know what we need to talk about." and he replied, We need to meet. So I feel that he might know but not 100% sure again. He was at my place yesterday with a couple friends, and he said that he doesn't remember a thing.

I need tips, on how I should start the conversation. We are meeting in about 2 hours. So anything quick would be appreciated.

Help me please.



TL;DR

Got drunk, had sex with my friend. Will talk to him about it today. How should I go about doing the conversation.

[ceez]

well, these conversations usually don't go to well. I never understood guys like this, chances are liquid courage gave him the guts to do something he either desired or was curious about. but the guy usually denies it up and down the next day, plus I'm pretty sure he remembers just as much as you did. be prepared for him to push himself away for a little while.

[HeyItsKen]

Any tips on how I should maybe start eh conversation.

[ceez]

hmm, maybe start with small talk to make him feel more at ease and let him know you're his friend and not there to judge.

[HeyItsKen]

Of course I'm not there to judge, I'm happy it happened.

[ceez]

right, you have to make sure he knows that though, I hope it works out well for you. I had a friend that used to fool around with me and he would forget anything ever happened the next day and he was sober the whole time.

[ceez]

welcome to the forum by the way

[HeyItsKen]

Thanks for the help, I'm a little nervous and I hope it works out.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Don't talk about it.

Seriously he is in denial - yes most likely he has a foggy impression of what he done, but he is 'straight' thus isn't going to want to face it. His initial reaction(s) of 'what are you talking about?' is (most likely) not faulty memory, but horror that he did that 'gay thing' and he wants to forget it and let is pass.

I had a 'straight' friend who would get blasted/wasted and come over to my place to 'visit' and he would get all handsy and try to initiate sex. Being wasted/drunk/high whatever gave him an excuse to not be responsible for his behaviors.

He even went so far as to do strip tease for me down to the skin :o. He would crash either on the sofa, usually the floor then in the morning act all scared because he was butt naked under the blanket I covered him up with.

He would accuse me of stripping him of his clothing - even said I raped him. Well he stopped that after I got the video camera and video taped the show. He also stopped coming around drunk.....

Let your buddy have his 'belief' that 'nothing happened'. Next time you are around him, DO NOT drink and do not oblige him should he get flirty/frisky with you. This would be a sign that he is using you to do those gay things that he want's and still keep the illusion that he is straight. Don't oblige that behavior, it can lead to some deep serious do-do such as you waking up hanging on a fence after being beaten.