Still confused

[DoubleDiamond]

Another consideration: One's *affectional orientation* can be different from one's *sexual orientation.* For me it's gay/bisexual.

[nfisher1226]

That's a good point as well. For me, I'm still sexually attracted to both genders, but much more comfortable with affection if it's with another man. It took me a long time to sort that out though. I think it may be easier to come to a point of self realization if it's clear that you have -no- physical attraction to the opposite gender, as opposed to being bisexual. Because the fear of what will happen if we're "out" is enough to keep a lot of bi guys closeted for a long time.

Since I date men exclusively these days, I just simplify it to "gay" usually, and that's how I view myself too. I'm quite comfortable with the idea of never having another hetero relationship. They were never all that fulfilling for me anyway, whereas being with a man feels "right".

[avidcyclistMTB]

To be honest, I'm still a virgin, so I haven't had the physical pleasure of either sex, and maybe this is the reason I'm still unsure about the whole situation. I suppose I'm looking for others who can relate. Can anyone?

Go out there and get some experience! (if that's what you're after).

I certainly can relate. As an adolescent, I had sexual urges toward both sexes and as I grew into an adult this continued. I had a few sexual experiences with both sexes (unfortunately, a horrendous one with another man) and ended up falling completely in love with a woman. I spent 15 years with her, 12 married, and have a beautiful 10 year old daughter as a result.

Was I suppressing my gay urges? Probably, but certainly not begrudgingly. We ended up getting divorced (her idea) and I was able to explore the other side of my sexuality. She's still one of my best friends and we share an awesome kid who is hopefully going to grow up in this world with fewer hangups about sexuality. Her step-dad's mother is also in a long term same sex relationship now.

Secretlust, I can only say that we live in a time when it's less of an issue revealing your true sexuality than it was in the past. Yes, there are still societal pressures to conform to the norm, but you're in Miami, for crying out loud! LOL.

I consider myself gay now, I guess. I'm out to everyone and in a long term gay relationship, but I still get that little stirring in the groin when a beautiful woman walks by. Am I bi? Maybe, but, as Jason said, why label it? Enjoy it. We're still young and what better time to explore who you are.

Good luck and I hope you find the answers you're looking for or at least enjoy the search.

[Rainbowmum]

Hi SecretLust.

I really don't like labeling people , but in your case, I am pretty sure you are Bi.
The best advice I can give you is stop over analyzing things , just relax and enjoy.

[cyoung112]

I can relate to this to a certain degree. First of all, guys who are the "epitome" of masculine perfection are my weakness, but even some that are not all that get my attention as well. I seem to spend more time looking/thinking about guys. I have a strong sexual attraction to them and there are some that I just find attractive enough to think about. I grew up liking girls until late elementary school and then I started noticing guys more too. I identified as straight and felt weird because I knew that guys turned me on too. As time has passed I seem to enjoy the male body more or at least I'm more interested in it. Don't get me wrong I've seen a few females that turn my head. I don't typically spend time thinking about them. I sometimes wonder if certain ones are the women for me. I sometimes think that maybe me liking guys is just a part of me that I will have to deal with and I need to find a woman. Sometimes I think my attraction to guys is just a curiosity thing and I need to get it out of my system. I don't know. I hope you find out what you are looking for and I hope you don't over think things.

[SecretLust]

Hi SecretLust.

I really don't like labeling people , but in your case, I am pretty sure you are Bi.
The best advice I can give you is stop over analyzing things , just relax and enjoy.

Bi could definitely be an accurate label. I actually had a dream where I was about to grab onto a muscular, naked-man's cock. I woke up and I almost came! Until I get more experience though, it's hard to say for sure.