06-01-2012, 03:02 AM
Hello, I am a 22 year old guy living in the USA.
Here is my life delima, I dont know what to do.
When im extremely horny, I love guys, I see a guy im attracted to, and would do just about anything with them, and ive only had a few small encounters with a guy, but everytime I watch gay porn, or do something with a guy, after i cum i feel completley disgusting, I instantly feel disgusted out that i even looked at gay porn, or had thoughts about guys, It makes me sick to my stomach, and then once i get horny again, i all of a sudden just love guys again!
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AND IF I COME OUT, THERE IS NO GOING BACK.
IM AFRAID TO COME OUT BECAUSE IF SOMEDAY I WANT A NORMAL LIFE WITH WIFE AND KIDS IT WILL BE TO LATE , BECAUSE ILL BE KNOWN AS THE GAY GUY IN MY TOWN, VERY VERY SMALL TOWN.
But with girls, I think there really hot, but even when i watch strait porn i cant get hard, even if a girl came up and showed me her boobs i dont think it would even make me hard, but I wanna be with a girl, and think being with a guy is disgusting, unless im horny.
They life i want is to be completly strait and marry a female and have a beautiful family some day, but i know it wont happen because I have no emotional connect with woman, and have only a connection with a man.
So my question is: If I can only emotionally be connect to a guy, and not a girl, but am disgusted with guys 1second after i cum, what do i do???
Im tired of being this confused, Do i go with a guy or girl???
Girl = Happy married life with kids , but no emotional connection with the girl.
Guy = Really happy, and really turned on, and would do anything for a guy, until i cum, then i instantly just feel repulsed by what i did, and wanna get away from that person instantly.. AWWW! why me?... sigh
Here is my life delima, I dont know what to do.
When im extremely horny, I love guys, I see a guy im attracted to, and would do just about anything with them, and ive only had a few small encounters with a guy, but everytime I watch gay porn, or do something with a guy, after i cum i feel completley disgusting, I instantly feel disgusted out that i even looked at gay porn, or had thoughts about guys, It makes me sick to my stomach, and then once i get horny again, i all of a sudden just love guys again!
---
AND IF I COME OUT, THERE IS NO GOING BACK.
IM AFRAID TO COME OUT BECAUSE IF SOMEDAY I WANT A NORMAL LIFE WITH WIFE AND KIDS IT WILL BE TO LATE , BECAUSE ILL BE KNOWN AS THE GAY GUY IN MY TOWN, VERY VERY SMALL TOWN.
But with girls, I think there really hot, but even when i watch strait porn i cant get hard, even if a girl came up and showed me her boobs i dont think it would even make me hard, but I wanna be with a girl, and think being with a guy is disgusting, unless im horny.
They life i want is to be completly strait and marry a female and have a beautiful family some day, but i know it wont happen because I have no emotional connect with woman, and have only a connection with a man.
So my question is: If I can only emotionally be connect to a guy, and not a girl, but am disgusted with guys 1second after i cum, what do i do???
Im tired of being this confused, Do i go with a guy or girl???
Girl = Happy married life with kids , but no emotional connection with the girl.
Guy = Really happy, and really turned on, and would do anything for a guy, until i cum, then i instantly just feel repulsed by what i did, and wanna get away from that person instantly.. AWWW! why me?... sigh