Views of Men who are......

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if this should be posted here or in Debates or where but I am just curious what people's views are on Men who are attracted to boys. I had a friend awhile back tell me that he was attracted to boys and I asked him like teens and he said no, boys like under 10 and I just had a mix reaction of confusion and why is he telling me this in the first place. He says that he has never done anything but that he is just attracted to them. I am pretty open to whatever just as long as you are not harming anyone or yourself.

He then flat out told me that he was a pedophile and I was like just so freaked by him saying that. He told me he wasn't attracted to guys anymore and that it was just boys. Well anyway I am just curious what people's opinions of men that are attracted to boys if they are not active with them? I know that if I knew someone that was active with a boy that I would turn him in and I am positive that it would ruin our friendship.

I totally understand if this is deleted and I am just not sure what to think or do about this.

[mrk2010]

They are fucking sick, and need arresting! Call the bloody police!

[dfiant]

He needs help. Even if he hasn't acting on his impulsion, he has created a demand for certain illegal materials, so indirectly he is contributing to the sexually exploitation of children through pornography.

Give him an ultimatum...get help or you go to the police...Do you really want to hold onto a 'friend' like that?

[Anonymous]

He is a really good guy and I honestly believe that he hasn't done anything to any boys but I just feel like he has always been good friend to me. I mean how is it any different from a guy that is 70 and is dating a 18 year old that was just a teen and illegal a few years prior. I am not saying that I agree with him and his attraction but I just don't feel like its a good idea to just leave him alone when he is so helpless right now.

If I turn him in and the police check him out and he hasn't done anything, they will just let him go and thats it. I wouldn't have helped him or anything, I might have made it worse for him. So anytime anyone is a pedophile they are a threat to society and should be locked up? I just am not sure if I agree with that. I am sure I will be atttacked because I am not doing anything about it.

[Ebi]

That's just sick and disgusting!! He should really consult someone about this, like psychologist or something, if he keeps it in, he might actually act on it one day!!

[Pix]

I don't understand the attraction to children (and plenty of other alternatives) and I'm not sure if that's hardwired so that a person afflicted with such desires can't help it anymore than we can help orientation or if it's psychological (I've read that a great many men and even women who prefer minors, especially small children, pretty much see themselves as children in adult bodies). But in any case he has to realize--at least at some level--that kids don't have the maturity to understand or consent to a romantic and sexual relationship with an adult (among other dangers even in the rare child that theoretically could) and so he needs to rein in such desires.

But sexual instincts are powerful, and for all too many people they can't fully suppress them anymore than a pot of boiling water can keep steam from being released, and if he's talking about it then the pressure is already mounting (and that's assuming he really hasn't done anything yet). When it comes to sex & love then it's way too easy to rationalize as well as to project (so if a guy desires a child then it's easy for him to believe the child desires him and is even willfully turning him on and thus "asking for it").

If someone opened up to me about desires like that I'd urge him (or her) to get help because it's hard to keep sexual instincts under control at all times. I'd urge him to do it for himself (as if he has a conscience then he's going to feel terrible, much like the proverbial werewolf who harms loved ones as a wolf to curse himself when he's human again) as well as for any children out there who might be harmed by him in a moment of weakness.

[Anonymous]

I did advise him that perhaps he should go see a therapist and he told me that he couldn't find any therapist that would help him. For the hell of it I did some searching about pedophilia and just couldn't find any info about it and I did find that most of the help you can get when it comes to pedophilia is after the fact when you have committed a crime against a child and then you can get help. I also read that trying to help someone with pedophilia is not very helpful because once you are a pedophile you are always a pedophile. I just have no clue how I can help him and perhaps I just shouldn't be his friend anymore and let him be on his own.

[Genersis]

I don't understand the attraction to children (and plenty of other alternatives) and I'm not sure if that's hardwired so that a person afflicted with such desires can't help it anymore than we can help orientation or if it's psychological (I've read that a great many men and even women who prefer minors, especially small children, pretty much see themselves as children in adult bodies). But in any case he has to realize--at least at some level--that kids don't have the maturity to understand or consent to a romantic and sexual relationship with an adult (among other dangers even in the rare child that theoretically could) and so he needs to rein in such desires.

But sexual instincts are powerful, and for all too many people they can't fully suppress them anymore than a pot of boiling water can keep steam from being released, and if he's talking about it then the pressure is already mounting (and that's assuming he really hasn't done anything yet). When it comes to sex & love then it's way too easy to rationalize as well as to project (so if a guy desires a child then it's easy for him to believe the child desires him and is even willfully turning him on and thus "asking for it").

If someone opened up to me about desires like that I'd urge him (or her) to get help because it's hard to keep sexual instincts under control at all times. I'd urge him to do it for himself (as if he has a conscience then he's going to feel terrible, much like the proverbial werewolf who harms loved ones as a wolf to curse himself when he's human again) as well as for any children out there who might be harmed by him in a moment of weakness.

This.
It's sad that these people are normally too scared to get help because of how vilified they are. This lack of getting any help then leads them to act on their urges eventually. Which is then used to vilify others who may be hoping to seek help.

[pellaz]

before every one gets up on their soap box, the very first episode of QAF the boy was under age. Not my call here but when in Rome do as Romans. Most countries having a modern legal system have strict laws on this.

I would encourage your friend to get some help. from the stand point to assure he has a long and successful life.

most physic disorders can be treated but they dont necessarily go away but remain latent. No reason this should be any different.

[ceez]

I did advise him that perhaps he should go see a therapist and he told me that he couldn't find any therapist that would help him. For the hell of it I did some searching about pedophilia and just couldn't find any info about it and I did find that most of the help you can get when it comes to pedophilia is after the fact when you have committed a crime against a child and then you can get help. I also read that trying to help someone with pedophilia is not very helpful because once you are a pedophile you are always a pedophile. I just have no clue how I can help him and perhaps I just shouldn't be his friend anymore and let him be on his own.

don't leave him on his own, sharing this secret of his could have helped him blow off enough steam to keep the urges back. be a good friend and talk it over with him until he can find some professional help.