New, and Met a guy and need some advice

[airman91201]

Hey my name is Jake, I'm relatively new to the gay scene, i have had many friends gay in the past but have really just been around it until a couple months ago when I made out with my first guy. Since I have been interested in possibly finding one to date and having only dated girls at this point I'm kinda new and can't read him at all. I did manage to meet a guy that matches what I look for PERFECTLY. We have skyped and gone out on one date so far and we are supposed to go out again this Friday night. My problem is I can't read him. He recently (past 3 weeks or so maybe 4) got out of a relationship, afterwards which he moved half way across the country to live with his aunt while he gets established. I took him to see the Avengers and then we went to eat then just hung out last friday night. You can tell he likes me but at the same time he seems a little unsure which I think is mostly because of the relationship he just got out of. I want to talk to him like 24/7 via text, and I try to keep it to a maximum of like 3 texts in an hour, i dont want to bother him. My problem is IDK what i should do, one because i'm new and two because he just got out of a kinda tough relationship. We didnt kiss last dat but i respect that haha he said he has a rule and not on the first date, plus he has to keep me coming back wanting more lol but he said fore sure next time (which is this friday). I'm so confused as to his signals, how to read him... he doenst seem to text too often but he always responds... I just dont want to mess this up... He wld be my first guy to ever really go out with and oddly I cant stop thinking about him... which has me so confused... any advice on what I should do or not do?

--we are both masculine, we are both athletically built, blue eyes etc. love movies, concerts, etc. HELP ME PLEASE lol

[Deryn]

Hi. Welcome and all that jazz.

Well I'm not sure about your boy specifically, but it just sounds like he wants to take things slow. As someone who moves slower than a snail in a salt field, I'd say you may want to ease up a bit. If the last relationship didn't end mutually then he might still have a lot of feelings about it he has to work through before he can match your pace, if he does at all.

The few boys I have dated have said I am frustratingly hard to get a hold of. I don't carry a cell phone (haven't for a while now), I keep Facebook chat turned off, and I hardly ever log into my skype. Like I said, I don't know about your boy, but three texts an hour would probably annoy me if there wasn't already a conversation going. Some guys (even the gay ones) are not very feeling-orientated. And talking 24-7 is not their style. So there is always that. But I wouldn't worry too much my guess is its more likely he is still working through the last boy and if you give him the time and you click enough he'll come around.

[ceez]

my advice, keep dating him. just go with it for now and over time after you've gotten to know him then you will be able to read him better.

[brybry87]

I think you should just play it cool and not read way into it. Three text an hour doesn't seem too bad unless he's replying, but give him his space. Some guys find it a turn off when someone constantly texts or calls.

Like I said, I think you should play it cool and not let yourself fall for him too quickly. As you said he just got out of a relationship and you don't want to fall into being the rebound-guy. Just be a friend, cause that's probably what he needs at the moment. An ear to listen and maybe even a shoulder to cry on.

Just give him space, he just got out of a pretty seemingly serious relationship. He'll need time to get back on his feet.

Good luck dude :]

[airman91201]

that makes a lot of sense, I just didnt know what I should do, i felt like i was being very inconsiderate but idk... thanks tho... like i said i just want it to work and i think he's thinking like me, just like u said a lot slower

[Dan1980]

Don't rush into things take it slow. It will all work out in the end. If he's just come out of a bad relationship he may want to take it slow so he's not hurt again.

[pellaz]

if he just got out of a relationship it will take a while till he can think about him self. He might not be as fast, if at all, to start another relationship right now. If this is so i hope you can accept it. Wait after a few dates and talk to him if he has not already opened up and ask him all your questions. I just think this could end bad for you, less than your expectations for a first relationship. Good luck tho.

[zeon]

Hello and welcome to gayspeak,
Firstly i would say as his taken a relationship and its recently ended make sure you take everything with a pinch of salt until after say three to six months because you dont want to put everything in and find out your the re bound... I would say by what you put he seems happy and contented in himself and you as well but just take everything one step at a time and see where ya go from there

Kindest regards

Aunty Zeon x