Make or Break - letter of concern...

[Watermark]

Addictions are hard - I have seen so many unhappy families because of alcohol problems. It's definately not worth sticking around if chance seems impossible.

[CustomMadeKid]

I don't really know you, so I apologise if my opinion isn't wanted/needed but it sounds like you've been through a lot of bad times with this guy. You've already done so much for him and tried to help him, there has to be a point where you say enough is enough and realise you deserve more. And I think now is that point.

There's so many more people out there who'd love a boyfriend as caring/loving as you, don't waste the love you have to give on someone who doesn't fully appreciate it. I understand it's hard to walk away from someone you care about and have an emotional attachment to but it isn't fair to waste any more of your time helping someone who needs to help himself.

That's just my advice, but good luck with whatever you decide!

[East]

Zeon...OMG...you are very brave to share something so personal here...it is heartbreaking for me to read. I can feel your pain and your hope and it is such a difficult position you are in here.

Everyone has given you brilliant advice but sometimes with such strong emotions and history we can be blinded so I am going to add one thing....do you have a desire or even a need to rescue him by any chance? Think about it a bit. The reason I ask...that is a deadly emotional position to be in...I know very well from personal experience.

When I read your post I couldn't help thinking about this one passage in the Thorn Birds that tore right through me and I have never forgot....

“The bird with the thorn in its breast, it follows an immutable law; it is driven by it knows not what to impale itself, and die singing. At the very instant the thorn enters there is no awareness in it of the dying to come; it simply sings and sings until there is not the life left to utter another note. But we, when we put the thorns in our breasts, we know. We understand. And still we do it. Still we do it.”

If I could give you a hug I would but since I cant'..this will have to do

[DerJack]

Zeon, trying to help someone you love and deeply care for is a very noble cause, and I respect your determination, however, when such an action can be so detrimental to your own life so much to make you feel un-loved and un-cared for, then I think that you are going beyond your limits and that you should try and learn to love yourself again, before attempting to accept another person...

[ManicReptile21]

you shouldnt have to be going through the broken record routine everyday of your life while that loser is off partying accomplishing nothing with his life. the idea of this letter being written means you already know it wrong. IT's simply a matter of how fast you want to settle it. If you think he's attached to you. allow me to make it very clear that from an outside veiw it appears he really isnt attached to you anymore. and a relationship cant be one sided. it will never work. and someone will always be in pain. Pack your stuff up and hit the road. You finished your business with him a long time ago. And i must say- he doesnt deserve a BIT of your hospitality.

[avidcyclistMTB]

Zeon, it all sounds hopeless. I know from the inside it's not so clear, but this relationship will eat you up. I have been there and got spit out hard! You are noble to still want to help, but you can only go so far and it seems like you have paid your dues and then some. Love hurts and losing it hurts too. Been there too many times too.

Like Pellaz said, there's someone out there waiting to treat you right and bail you out for a change. Good luck, I know it's not easy.

[matty7]

im saying this as a friend with only your best interest at heart mate (i hope u believe that) - your ex is dragging you down with him and things will only get worse as far as i can see in your letter - he is a alchoholic and the drink will come first everytime...before you, his son -everything !! until he accepts this and gets help then nothing will chanege. It also sounds like this relationship has really taken a toll on your self esteem too, you talk about yourself in a very negative way in many sentences....this stressfull one sided relationship i feel is having a big impact on your wellbeing mate - something such as a partnership shouldnt be this way.

Look for another man and take care of yourself m8 - time to make a change

[zeon]

Hi All,
I had a sit down chat with my ex at work today and laid all the cards out on the table and he kept going on n on about debt issues etc and we are not ideal whilst we are in debt i thought to myself... Thats a piss poor excuse if you believe in something u fight to maintain it plus who isnt in debt?? Yeah im in debt of £7,000 - £10,000 BUT IM STILL ADAPTING to life... He said to me something which i thought MIND GAMES/SELF REPROJECTION!!!! He told me that he reckons ill end up meeting someone and he will leave his bf and i wont leave mine.. I simply explained in life im not looking im just being me and enjopying single life... He asked what casual sex?? I said yes if that comes along not that u should know... Only thing i wont do is do it in the flat... Tonight he said his looking for another job so who knows lol... Im keeping happy and he hasnt seen my envelope yet with letters inside... l write a letter to him when i sort of feel a branch snap like some self therapy

[matty7]

and your still hanging on in there hoping for that miracle - its not gonna happen,,,give him your letters - looking for another job !! so if he gets one that could pay to clear debts etc - u think he would do that ? , would he even go long enough without to keep the job, honestly - more money would mean more alcohol - and more behavior that would make u even less of a couple - more guys on the side = i know for a fact people care for u on here - maybe time to listen to them

[zeon]

The tricky situation im in is ive got a mortgage with him and i got it because he vowed to change and did for a month then flopped. Now if i try to sell ill be fined £6,000 for breach of five year agreement