I don't get it :( is it me? or "him" as usual?

[rk07]

hi guys
this is me first post here and before to start wud like to say hello 2 every1 who will read and maybe reply this

Unfortunately all the guys who I have met/dated in me life turned to be all complete wankers....

Months ago I have started chattin online with this guy who I will call Ken here.
he is accordin to me the sweeties I have ever met.

We met once and the attraction was so strong that it happened we made out , and hey I want to point out, no sex occurred, neither oral, although he materially slept with me that nite.

He is not sum1 who goes and text a lot, he doesnt even use "xxx" in texts, but he reeli showed interest in me.

We decided to meet again and we did, we did not end up in bed again, it was nice, dinner out and few drinks then he said he was reeli tired and needed to go to bed (9pm), well hey it was a Wednesday so he had 2 work the next day, fair enough.

Summit happened, a friend of mine on gdar msged him randomly and they started chattin and Ken kinda spitted out bout how he felt for me sayin "I am seein this guy, but dont feel a spark, dont think it has a romantic future and I dont wanna waste my time or his"

My m8 cudnt keep this for himself and let me know the day after.
I was reeli gutted, I wasnt espectin any romantic future from seein Ken, although who wudnt exclude one when u see a guy not for sex only?
Plus why wud Ken ever be that enthusiastic when seein me if he doesnt want nothing deeper? kindness/personality?

The problem is another tho.
That nite he chatted with me m8, we had just chatted too (me and Ken), and he appeared offline on my msn as he said he had to leave.
When I read the time of his msgs with me m8 it was later than our chat and he therefore deffo blocked me staying online.

I emailed him and wished him the best for his future as he reeli screwed up everything doin what he did, who wud ever trust sum1 who blocks u on msn and then "kachin!!" appears when he likes to?
plus I was still gutted coz I did believe that he felt in the same way for me as I did for him, in short words happy to keep hangin out with me, with no plans/no rush and takin it all as it was coming (rare thing nowadays).

He went online when received the email and was mortified sayin he felt caged like by seein me above all coz of a txt once I had sent to him which said "I am only seein you now" (I am not seein anyone else, fair enough, innit? u think that was pushy?).

Now we kinda adjusted things and he says he wants to keep seein me, but I dunno....it does reeli sound like a "FRIENDSHIP ONLY" and u know what? I dunno what went wrong?!
the way it was at the beginning was so nice.....reciprocal attraction and common interests and no rush in seein how things cud have evolved for the two of us...:frown:

if u guys have any suggestions lemme know plz, I reeli like the guy, and still hope summit good can happen between me and him .....:confused:
or not?


Thanks

[Shadow]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ...

Well first off, hi, and welcome to Gayspeak !! I'm sure you'll find plenty of people here to get along with (hopefully myself included !!).

Turning now to your situation, I think that it's always difficult to be crystal-clear on situations that develop heavily through your PC.

Let me give you an example. I'd like to think that I get along well with pretty much everybody I meet and that, even if I don't agree with them, I respect them and let them go their own way ... but I will freely admit that I block LOADS of people on MSN, and appear offline from time to time, and I would be mortified if anybody took it personally - I do it because, sometimes, I just want to use MSN to quickly keep tabs on what's going on in my hotmail a/c, because I don't always have the time to stop and chat with them ... but it's not because I'm deliberately ignoring them ...

So personally I'd have to give him the benefit of the doubt on the showing offline/blocking issue, but perhaps that's just me ...

As for telling your mate how he felt about your relationship, perhaps he was just spouting off what was on his mind at the time ... did he know that you were mates ? If so then perhaps he was trying to get your friend to offer up some information about how YOU feel about the situation ? I can't say for certain ...

How old is Ken, btw ?

With regard to how you proceed from here ? Your best options are either to open up a dialogue with Ken and speak to him openly and honestly, because if you can do THAT, then you'll feel better about yourself and the situation. Don't go too overboard with the amount of information you disclose, as that might come across as being a bit TOO strong ... but be honest and open about things - that's my motto.

FAILING THAT, you could use your mate to act as a go-between, but I'm not convinced that's a particularly good idea, since if Ken knows that it's your mate that told you, your mate's very badly burnt his bridges on that front ...

The bitter pill of this situation is that these things don't always work out, so you need to be prepared for the possibility that Ken isn't 100% receptive to your honesty - HOWEVER, if that IS the case then I for one believe he's making a mistake in not hearing you out, and your conscience will be 100% clear when you turn around and tell him to go screw himself for not giving you the respect your approach deserves.

Hope that's of some help - I'm just sorry I can't make it all better for you immediately babe .

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[rk07]

hey david, cheers for ur reply, well I kinda agree with what u said about the blockin thing on msn.
What I reeli dont get is why he kinda got a solution bout "what to do with the 2 of us", so quickly, when we actually only met twice and on both occasions it was all so nice and sweet...
he's just 22 and I am 21.
nope I dont think me friend online wud be a good thing anymore as u said eheh
it reeli sucks u know u think for once everything is goin just fine with a guy, he's not wanka he is a good person......erm...
I dunno I reeli like him and cant get him outta me head now, not that I fell for him but I h8 loosin and never give up very easily
he says now he wanna keep seein me, but I am sure its likely I will understand from the next meetings that he actually doesnt wanna owt more than a simple friendship (which is grand...but still...)...
hope things are goin gr8 with u, and hope to hear from u soon, reeli appreciated what u said =)
mile: R x

[Shadow]

Hey, no worries babe ...

Why not hook up with him and see how things go from there ? That he wants to keep seeing you suggests that there's a base from which you can work, and that isn't a bad thing surely mile:.

My advice is to gauge how things are with him during your next encounter with him irl, and then from there, see what scope there is for you to move ...

Think of it as extremely aggravating chess ... if that helps ...

.

Merry Christmas babe xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[rk07]

hey david
cheers again
yeah that is deffo a base!!
I will deffo do that and let u know how it goes if dont bother ya like
wish u very merry Christmas too
*hug*
Rik

[Shadow]

Of course it doesn't babe - you come back as often as you like, and keep us posted on that and anything else you want to bring to us mile:.

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!