Confused and need a good advice (long text)

[George]

In advance i have to tell you that english is not my mother language so in case of any misundesrtanding feel free to ask me to explain it better

is a long story and i ll try to give you just the main parts of it to have a clear image. It all started 3 years ago. I met this guy in the last year of High School, by the end of that year we had a really good friendship with a lot of fun and good time (no romance at that time)

At that summer things got complicated. We had much more free time and we spent a lot of time together in my house, hugging, cuddling and kissing but not on the lips(that was the time that i felt in love with him)

The next year i had to move in a different city cause of my University, and that was quite a big shock for me, letting all my friends and mostly familly and begining a new life. From Christmas break to Easter break ,that i was at home, a lot of thing had change. Firstly on christmas break cause long time that we havent seen each other we were both spent more time together, romantic hugs, kisses (neck and cheek) and cuddling was in a regular basis and what makes me thinking more that he may be is into me, i slept in his house once and he felt asleep on my chest while cuddling. On easter break he told me that he was all that time in a relationship with a girl that i used to know... I got pissed but i couldnt tell him the reason why so i just pretend that everything was fine but he should have told me before and there was not much talk till the last summer.

The last summer, he was avoiding me by the time i went by home, no calls, no going out and by the end of it couple of days before i left i met him in a club and i asked him why he was avoiding he refuse to answer and no matter what i said he got pissed and he left. Since that time untill last christmas we didnt had any communication, not even on facebook (in which he unfriend me).

On new year's eve we met again on the entrance of a club i whished his friends and him a happy new year but i didnt expect too much, suddenly he grabbed me, hugged me and told me that he is sorry and he regret it, its all his fault and he wants us to be as we were before. I couldnt really agree on that but i pulled him and told him that we will talk about that... A couple of minutes later he introduce me to his new girlfriend and after she left (few steps away), while we dance he was touching my chest and his hand went to my lower area where i had to pull it back!
Almost the same senario happened again on the Easter Break. In both of these cases he was drunk but not wasted just tipsy.

He is saying that he is straight and at the same time he is doing all these things. I really dont know what i should do, every time that i think im over it, he is doing or saying something that put me back to the same position.

Thanks all of you who could get through all of this text. Any advice or thought about it is much appreciated

[Dan1980]

Hi I am sorry if your going through a hard time with this guy. He may be bisexual. Next Time you see him ask him what he wants. Tell him it's not fair on you being mucked about all the time. Tell him how you feel and what you want. Good luck.

[Nick9]

Hi George,
do you think he knows you are gay?
He can be just curious and unsure about his own sexuality.

He can be gay, but thinks that you are straight; the girl is just a cover, and he is sure he can't have you, so he is just flirting.

Or he is bi.
I guess you will need to ask him - directly, no tiptoeing around.

[dfiant]

Yep, need to put your foot down and put an end to these games for your own sanity.

You need to tell him how you feel, how his behaviour makes you feel and you have to find out his true feelings.

Personally I would just walk away from the whole situation and not look back.

Good luck

[pellaz]

dont let it bother you and take it as a compliment. In time, if your friend comes around, maybe there will be room in your life for him. I would not just sit there and wait.

there are gay men who will know exactly what they want and for those who dont you can not make them understand. I would suggest you go after that man in your life who will let you be in a relationship with him.

[avidcyclistMTB]

All of the above replies are great!

You need to talk to this guy. If he won't talk to you like he did in the past, it is your turn to stand off from him and not respond to his game playing. If he does talk with you, you can clarify a lot of things in a small amount of time.

Firstly, let him know you are gay! That might tell you everything you need to know right away. Proceed from there.

Good luck and sorry you have to go through this confusion.

[Rainbowmum]

Throw the games out the window and talk to the guy.

[princealbertofb]

On the other hand, with all this time spent away from him because of your studies, wouldn't it be almost a better idea to find a new person to love and have fun with? It would require you getting over him and being able to move on... Do you want to move on? Do you want him to be playing games with you? Is he going to be brave enough to own up to the fact that you and he have a gay love relationship? Is he going to be honest with his girlfriend and break up the relationship? Is he bisexual and looking for experience in both sexualities? Those are all questions that you should try to ask him. You might also write these questions and about your feelings to him in a letter or in an e-mail before you next meet him by chance in the street.
You have come into contact with him in situations when discussion was not possible, but you will need to have that conversation between four eyes.
Good luck, Giorgos.

[George]

Thank you, all of you for your advices it really help me to find some courage and made me feel better.

princealbertofb i will follow your advice, i have to send him an e-mail and get it done asap cause im really getting tired of this situation.

Pellaz "I would suggest you go after that man in your life who will let you be in a relationship with him." That was really inspiring thank you!

P.S. i think he possible have guessed that im gay, greece and especially my area is not really a good place to come out, so i m out just to a few of my close friends and my sis, but in all conv, im "open-minded" about homosexuality. Also i told him once that it whouldnt matter to me having a same sex relationship.

[dfiant]

You'll be right George...all you need is confirmation or closure and everything else will fall into place for you