bottoming "pains"

[Samdabisa]

My sexual experiences with other males thus far has been purely oral in nature. I have only bottomed twice, both over a year in between. This also hasn't been by choice (not everyone is a fan of us stocky guys).
I do hope to bottom again, hopefully soon. Any suggestions on how to prepare to loosen myself up a little so it doesn't hurt when I do bottom again?
Please note, I do live with family that would be curious of any package I receive at the house.

[princealbertofb]

I don't think any preparation is required ahead of time, because, as you will have noticed, you use your anus sphincters every day for the usual job and this just makes the sphincters operate tightly as they usually should.

The best thing you could do is if you know or expect there will be some anal intercourse within a few hours or within 24 hours, otherwise it's a bit pointless. You can use such things as carrots in a lubed up condom if you like, or any similar object. It doesn't have to be too big, but you have to make sure it'll be something that you'll be able to retrieve from the rear end passage without needing surgery (thinking of such accidents as can happen when people try some not-so-good object up their ass :eek.

The thing about carrots is that you can usually find them in sizes that ressemble the real thing (again they can be harder than the real thing, so not necessarily comfortable). Any questions?

[pellaz]

Use what you think is to much lube, generally is just the right amount.

[jamiebfd]

I have only bottomed twice, both over a year in between. This also hasn't been by choice.

what do you mean...not by choice?
against your will?

[dfiant]

preparation is a pain in the arse.

I'm just saying.

[monk]

preparation is a pain in the arse.

I'm just saying.

[BobInTampa]

Given the fact that you can't mail-order a butt plug (and quite frankly, a butt plug isn't going to help you down there unless it's inserted well prior to bottoming), i will be honest with you (as a guy who's bottomed ALOT), 95% of having near painless bottom sex falls to the top!

By that i mean, your partner needs to do everything he can to relax you down there - including rimming, going one finger at a time SLOWLY, and over 10-15 mintues inserting a 2nd and then 3rd finger.

The sphinter is a very strong muscle. To accomodate a penis, it needs to be gently streatched - the best way is with fingers and LOTS OF LUBE!

So, be very clear with any top, that he needs to spend some time prepping you down there with his mouth and fingers and then, the BEST way for you to start is to SIT on his cock. This way YOU determine the pace of penetration!

hope this helps!

[Samdabisa]

what do you mean...not by choice?
against your will?

Ha ha, no. Meaning it wasnt by choice that I couldn't meet more people than I have to have some fun.

Everyone else thank you for the feedback

[avidcyclistMTB]

My advice is to communicate with your next potential partner and ask him be very slow about it. SLOWLY... The key word here is SLOW! LOL.

Given your inexperience, fingers are a great place to start. Make sure his (or your) nails are trimmed and even use a condom on the finger(s) or wear a latex glove or the equivalent. Really, your ass is prepared to handle any normal sized cock and a lot of accomodating one is in the relaxation. So unless your partner is absolutely HUGE, a little foreplay and "loosening up" both physically and mentally should get you there. And LOTS of lube and go SLOWLY. :biggrin:

As Bob mentioned, sitting on his cock let's you direct the pace, but that doesn't work for everyone. I can't bottom my partner like that. We simply don't fit together that way without it being painful for me, while he can top me from behind all day long (please).

Good luck and I hope you can discover the joys of bottoming if that's what you are after.

[GayDatingExpert]

Start using a small dildo, to get used to being penetrated, and work up from that. Lots of lube as well.