I don't know how else to describe it, I really hate people. I hate so much about society, about human beings, about living. I often wish I could stop stop hating, but whenever I give someone my trust for the briefest of moments, I'm quickly reminded way I don't trust people. Everything follows a pattern, I hate and feel sad, a small ray of hope appears, I start to believe maybe there something good, then its snuffed out and I sink further down.
I often just want to sink into the darkness. The hate and sadness get so bad, I often cut and mutilate my skin just to relieve the pressure inside. I've been asked what it would take to make me happy - but such a wish doesn't exist for me at this point. I used to believe I could be happy, I can't see it now though.
So whats the point now? Keep waiting, watching time tick by in some vain attempt that a miracle will come? Why is expediting death such a bad thing?
Just to note as well, I have read several other posts like this and the responses to them. They have only served to continue my way of thinking... I don't expect a response that will change my mind, I just need at this moment to say something about the way I feel.
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Hi Anon,
I think that your feelings are normal, understandable and legitimate.
They all are caused by depression. Maybe not caused, but enhanced. Depression makes bad things stand out more and forces you to not notice or appreciate the good ones.
People who are happy feel like the world is basically a good place to live, sometimes maybe everything doesn't work the way they expected, or someone disappoints them, but it's not the end of the world for them.
You have it the other way around.
Maybe try to stay away from newspapers and other media, journalists tend to pick out the worst things that happened.
The miracle won't come. I believe that other people can feel your negative vibes, and I am afraid they won't approach you to pull you out of that dark hole and to be friends with you.
You need to realize that the world brings bad AND good things.
It's just up to you how you want to see it.
You may start with a therapy or antidepressants. Depression really influences how you see the world.
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May i ask if you suffer from agrophobia?>
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Tough one.
The first thing that comes to mind is what is the common denominator of the trust being breached...surely it's not the same person that breaches your trust, so it comes down to????
The way we present ourselves to world always dictates the way that we are treated, people sense things before they know things when it comes to other people.
So rather than hate people and the world because you don't want to trust them, figure out exactly WHY you don't trust them.
You are the common denominator.
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"We hate in others what we hate most about ourselves."~~unknown
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Hi Anon,
Hate is such a strong word, it is made up of so many disappointments, and disappointments are made up of unattained expectations.
The world can be a very cold place, and as such , those of us who have carved out our own place in it, have adapted and become stronger ,less reliant on others, especially for our own selfworth and happiness.
A lot of negatives out there , teach us things and strengthen us.
Do not let hate blind you , if it does you would have missed the whole lesson.
If you are walking around with a pessimistic attitude and expect people to fail you , guess what?
They will , and you will subconsciously be attracted to that type of person.
I do not want to sound to harsh , but you get out of life what you put in to it.
If you are relying on some else for your happiness and self worth, exactly what positivity are you putting into your life to make a change?
Change starts with you, and your actions.
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...I am so sorry. I'm so sorry that humanity has treated you so crappy that you feel nothing but filled to the brim with hatred. Please whatever you do, don't hurt yourself. You're a beautiful person and house a wondrous thing inside called a soul which is a very delicate thing to me. It can be filled to the brim with love or filled with an ugly thing called hate. I'd love to see you filled to brim with love happiness and other positive emotions. Just please do try and trust people. Not all humans are shitty and can be trusted. If you're on this site, PM me and I'll even talk to you or whatever just to show you that people can be nice and loving. But anyways, stay strong you beautiful thing and please try to see the greener grass on the other side.
<3
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I am the oppisite and put people before myself as its how i was raised...