:confused::confused::confused::confused: im from india, where gay is still not seen good, and here i have a best friend, who knows about me, he knows that im gay, he is very very nice and care about me a lot, here is the problem, he is a straight guy and but whenever i touch him he feels im touching for that sense only. he told me many times not to touch him, recently i went to a movie where i sit next to him, but slowly after few mints he slipped away few seats becasue its dark and i may touch him,
im confused and dont know what to do, he is very caring person, and if i get sad he comes to me and make me feel better, but he is scared of my sexuality. if i stop meeting him and staying away from him, he keeps calling me and untill i meet he will say sorry and later again he behaves the same way. i dont know what to do.
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Hello Indigay and  to GaySpeak. It sounds like you need to talk to your friend, if only to reassure him that you won't have any incorrect gestures towards him. You can ask him what sorts of gestures he feels comfortable with in public and in private. This should make him feel better if you keep your part of the bargain. Likewise, I suggest that you tell him how you feel when he shifts away from you. It sounds to me that he has some unresolved issues. Maybe he is very caring for another reason but is not ready to come out yet. Since you have been able to be open to him about being gay, it ought not to be a problem to have that sincere talk about where your friendship stands.
Do you know for a fact that he is straight? Has he got a girlfriend?
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have you know your friend all your life ? ,, if so then you have told him u are as you got older ,,he is still your friend if thats the case , but if he is not gay then touching him in a way that makes him uncomfortable is not good, he sounds like a very faithfull friend but maybe not in a sexual way,,, i agree with the poster above - speak to your friend to find what is acceptable or not = welcome to GS too indigay
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Some people are touchy feely people and others aren't, so I suspect that both of you are from opposite ends of the spectrum.
You should reassure him that you have no interests in him other than friendship and you value his friendship.
It also wouldn't hurt to modify your touchy feely behavior and compromise so that he doesn't feel uncomfortable. Men typically are not touchy feely, especially with other men. Men tend to associate touch with emotion and with sexual attraction.
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princealbertofb Wrote:Hello Indigay and to GaySpeak. It sounds like you need to talk to your friend, if only to reassure him that you won't have any incorrect gestures towards him. You can ask him what sorts of gestures he feels comfortable with in public and in private. This should make him feel better if you keep your part of the bargain. Likewise, I suggest that you tell him how you feel when he shifts away from you. It sounds to me that he has some unresolved issues. Maybe he is very caring for another reason but is not ready to come out yet. Since you have been able to be open to him about being gay, it ought not to be a problem to have that sincere talk about where your friendship stands.
Do you know for a fact that he is straight? Has he got a girlfriend?
he is married and have 2 kids
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dfiant Wrote:Some people are touchy feely people and others aren't, so I suspect that both of you are from opposite ends of the spectrum.
You should reassure him that you have no interests in him other than friendship and you value his friendship.
It also wouldn't hurt to modify your touchy feely behavior and compromise so that he doesn't feel uncomfortable. Men typically are not touchy feely, especially with other men. Men tend to associate touch with emotion and with sexual attraction.
i dont know him for entire life, but i know him from past 5 yrs, and i already told him many times, but he still not comfortable in that
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Talk to him .
Tell him that just because you are gay , does not mean you want to touch him in a sexual way.
People are scared of things they do not understand.
Put his mind at ease.
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Rainbowmum Wrote:Talk to him .
Tell him that just because you are gay , does not mean you want to touch him in a sexual way.
People are scared of things they do not understand.
Put his mind at ease.
i explained him multiple times , but no use,
i want to stay away from him for sometime untill he realizes,
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indigay Wrote:i explained him multiple times , but no use,
i want to stay away from him for sometime untill he realizes,
... and in the mean time, find someone who is interested in you for all the right reasons... (including love and passion...
... and sex, let's not forget sex!  :biggrin 
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just tell him he is so not your type and would never sleep with him even if you get paid of or it 
All jokes aside though, maybe it also has something to do with people looking at him being with you, not just about him feeling uncomfortable with you touching him?
Even if nobody knows about your sexuality but him, the fact that some other people may find out, and then speculations will be made that since you two were witting next to each other in the movies, then he might also be ga... Kinda thing.
If I were you I would simply respect that and let him take what ever measures he feel is be necessary, even though I know that it is not correct or necessary...
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I need an advice
