Off For Second Surgery

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think the assumption of Liposuction or Gastric By-pass is largely due to how the media have over sensationalized those stories of surgeries in that have taken place in many cases, thus its difficult for people to believe that weigh loss of this magnitude can be achieved via the 'natural' methods.

Here in the USA they have TV shows surrounding morbidly obese individuals and most of those stories deal with drastic surgery methods to lose weight.

Jay, what you have done for yourself is phenomenal, regardless your regrets you have achieved hard set goals and have stuck with a life style change that is inspirational to others.

[dfiant]

First of all, thank you Jay for being so open and candid about something that is so personal. I know it makes you uncomfortable talking about it, but by telling your story you will change lives, not just for obese people but for anyone who has a strugle of their own.

You have shown determination that remained unwaivered until you acheived your goal, you are an inspiration. Put that together with the beautiful person that you are makes you a remarkable person, I admire and respect you so much. xxx

I hope it wasn't I who annoyed you by asking what kind of surgery it was. Quite frankly I found your story inspirational. I mean I am overweight my self and my biggest problem is my motivation, and to see you struggle through it loosing more weight then most of my friends is currently is weighing is hell of an achievement. mile:

Zet, you are a lovely, articulate, empathetic young man. You have a lot of people around you that love you, even the people of Gayspeak that haven't met you and I hope you find the inspiration and motivation from reading stories like Jay's to help you on your way.

We all have our little issues that we want to overcome. Zet you want to lose weight, me...I want to quit smoking after 32 years. I will be drawing inspiration from Jay to help me beat my habit, so join me in doing something for yourself

[Zet]

Thank you a lot Daz for the lovely compliment I appreciate it

I think I will start my annual attempt to loose some weigh on Monday Hopefully I will be able to fix my broken bike soon, I love biking, I am mostly biking all through the whole summers. Hardest will be giving up sweets although, specially Ice-cream :p Wish you the best of luck to quit smoking, its a nasty habit that is hard to loose, my father has quit smoking about 3-4 times, somehow he always goes back to his old routines

[monk]

Jay, what you have done for yourself is phenomenal, regardless your regrets you have achieved hard set goals and have stuck with a life style change that is inspirational to others.

I couldn't have said it any better.


Jay, you are amazing!

[East]

Jay! I am so glad yoru surgery was successful...you continue to be an amazing inspiration and a personal hero of mine.

[Nick9]

wow, Jay. Congratulation... Your story is very touching and inspirational and I can hardly imagine how hard your journey was.
My great respect...

[East]

Bump

How are you feeling today Jay?

[Sylph]

I don't know how I've been missing this thread all this time :confused: .

But Jay-Jay, what you have done is so much more than what most people achieve in a lifetime.

I can't even imagine what it must have been like, but my youngest sister is having her own little weight issues, even though she's now riding her bike and going for walks and doing jump rope and it makes me wonder what it's like...

I've barely gone over 180lbs, for my whole life, so I couldn't put myself in your shoes, though I've never judged anyone overweight and only really started to see when my sister started to put on weight.

It's so amazing that you did what you did and the way that you did it, because I'm not sure if I could. And for you to even share it publically, that's just so awesome.



You're an inspiration, even to me a person who has not gone/ is not going what your going through.

I wish you the best Jay , whoever the guy is that snags you, is got to be really lucky mile:

[Jay]

Bump

How are you feeling today Jay?

I'm doing well.

The first few days after I was discharged was difficult. Not physically. But mentally.

To accept the fact that I had to lose something big for something greater was heartbreaking. It also didn't help that I was annoyed by people's assumptions that I had a rapid loss. I wasn't comfortable to talk about excess skin too. It was embarrassing.

All these formed a conflict inside. Whilst I am a mentally strong person, I still can break apart. I am a human after all. I have to go through this journey and battle alone by myself. Seven years and ongoing. I went through a lot. I am slightly tired now. I am able to replenish and rejuvenate myself but sometimes I just wish someone can give me a hug and tell me that everything's will be okay.

Due to the conflict that I had, I decided to stay away from Gayspeak for a while. It was a good step as I almost deleted my account. I don't want to talk about this. I also kept myself low profile in real life. By all means, I kept my distant from guys.

First Week

My parents and I didn't go home after I was discharged from the hospital. I told them that I needed to go to a pharmacy to buy scar creams, vitamins and cocoa butter. So my father drove my mom and I to a nearby shopping mall that is located close to my parents' house. After I bought my stuff, I stormed to the shopping mall's food court to buy Sweet Potato. I burnt my tongue as I gobbled it up whilst it was still hot. But it was worth it.

My surgeons asked me not to do any cardio and weight lifting for 3 weeks. But I did 1 hour brisk walk - one day after I was discharged. I returned to stairs climbing on last Thursday - five days after I was discharged. The same thing happened after I had my first surgery. Yes, I can be stubborn when it comes to exercise. I don't like skipping exercise for a long time. Exercise is part of who I am now. Nonetheless I will not start running until my body is completely ready for it.

I returned to work on last Tuesday. Even though my boss asked me to take another week off to rest. Obviously my colleagues were surprised to see me. "You better go home or your boss will kick you out."

When my boss saw me, she gave me a hug. I assured her that I was ready to work again.

My colleagues know why I went for surgeries. But they didn't know about the nipples part. I told them about it few days ago. They were upset. I explained to them that I can accept it now.

I was informed by my colleagues that a lot of my friends from other companies (work in the same office building) been asking for me. They noticed my 2 week absent from work. I received a lot of Welcome Back last week. I didn't tell them why I was away from work.

A female friend asked me, "Jay, you've changed a lot. You are good looking now with wonderful traits. Don't you want to be straight? Give girls a chance for a change."

I answered no. I explained to her that I don't have sexual feeling toward girls.

"How do you know? Have you ever tried?" She went on.

"Yes."

"Okay, okay. Fine." She noticed that I wasn't keen with the topic.

Upcoming Surgeries

I plan to have my third surgery at the end of this year and the final surgery at the end of next year. But I still need to discuss further with my surgeons and also my boss.

My boss asked me why I want to complete my last two surgeries so soon.

"So I can enter a relationship."

"Can't you have a relationship now?" She asked.

"I'm not comfortable to have one until I have completed all surgeries." I answered.

"You are lacking with confidence."

And she's right. Whilst I am known as a very confident man, I am still vulnerable. With tiny holes here and there .It's hard to explain and to make people understand my view and fear.

Another thing that I would like to point is that I don't think I will update everyone with my third and fourth surgery. Whilst I appreciate everyone's support, I don't want people to think that I am baiting for attention and seeking sympathy whatsoever.

Thank You

I would like to say thank you for the supports. You are all wonderful people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Jay]

I have been thinking hard the whole day.

Yes, the first few days was hard but I shouldn't have pushed myself deeper into gloom. It creates self pity. I didn't realize that I was feeling sorry for myself until I reread my previous post. Deleting my Gayspeak account? Kept myself away from guys? I could have slapped my own self. I hate self pity. I wasn't born to be that.

Indeed I had to sacrifice a lot but if I give up and quit now, all my hard work will go down the drain.

So I would like to clarify.

Nipples

It did bother me but I am fine now. It's a small matter.

Surgery Scars

I am fine to have those surgery scars. I can live with the scars. Nonetheless I'll do my best to fade them with cream scars.

Stretch Marks

Yes, I developed stretch marks when I was fat. I was ashamed to admit that I have stretch marks but not anymore. I have stretch marks and so be it.

Excess Skin

I was embarrassed to talk about my past - excess skin as it sounds disgusting. But my excess skin was my past. The worst has reached its end. Whilst I still do have another two surgeries to go, these surgeries are more of restructuring. I'm sure my surgeons will remove a bit of skin but nothing major as the previous two. I am fine to talk about excess skin now.

People's Mouths

I can't control with what people want to say about me. If one wants to assume that I had a rapid loss. Be my guest. If another wants to say something about my scars. Go ahead. All I have to say to these folks is I don't give a fuc*k with what you think. You are not important to me. Thank you.

I Can Accept Myself

Losing function of my nipples. Surgery scars. Stretch marks. These make me less than perfect but then again I was nowhere perfect to begin with. Being perfect has never been my goal. My ultimate goal is to give my best. I gave my best in the past and I will continue to give my best now and in the future.

My surgery scars and stretch marks are my tattoos. My victory tattoos. Each scar on my body tells a story about how badass I am.

I no longer have regrets. Yes, my life would be much easier if I didn't become morbid obese but what has happened has happened. There is no point to look back and have regrets.

Whilst I am nowhere perfect additionally due to the new package that I'm carrying (Functionless nipples and scars), I know that I am still hot and sexy. I don't need to elaborate. What matters is the fact that I can still appreciate myself after what I have went through.

My name is Jay and I was born to be a fighter.