Is it romantic or is it conniving?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I see nothing wrong here, if you want to be the other woman, go for it - it is after all the 21st century.

Oh never mind the old adage what goes around comes around, I'm nearly 10% certain that if you do win him he won't sleep around on you - after all you are special - right?????

No type-o - I really give a ten percent certainty there.

Are you so desperate that you have to steal another man's man in order to be happy?

If so, that is just sooooo sad.

Have you ever been cheated on? If so then you know you not only hate your own partner for cheating on you, but you also hate that piece of fluff that he cheated with. You don't want to be hated like that, do you?

My Advice is to forget the Grind'r - seriously that is where the sad, lonely desperate people looking for casual sex and extra marital sex and sex on the side of their sad little relationships go. People of merit, people who are looking for real love and a real connection go to a relationship web-site, not a hook up app.

[East]

This has definitely crossed my mind. It's evident he has a higher libido than I do, and if we ever were to start a relationship this would be something I'd have to confront. However, he has been open and honest with me about so many things right from the gecko: his relationship, his age, hook ups. I feel that it's not a complete deal breaker for me. In a way, I value the idea of "emotional" monogamy with him more than "sexual" if that makes any sense, and if he was to stay completely honest with me it would not truly bother me as much that he was having one-night flings every once in a while.

Thank you for the input! I definitely think I will continue to do what I feel is best in my mind, even if it doesn't always necessarily follow what society tells me I should do, and I will be ready for the consequences that come my way.

I think that you are already alot wiser than your years...being true to yourself is ALWAYS a good idea. I met my soul mate in very odd circumstances in which everyone thought I was crazy...but I was right when everyone thought I was wrong so I completely believe in trusting myself.

I "get" your view on relationships and deal breakers...I feel the same way you do. Even though I am by definition monogamous I have never promised fidelity to anyone nor do I allow anyone to promise it to me. I promise honesty instead and ask for the same in return...I find honesty infinitely more valuable. I also value emotional fidelity alot more than physical fidelity.

[princealbertofb]

I see nothing wrong here, if you want to be the other woman, go for it - it is after all the 21st century....

My Advice is to forget the Grind'r - seriously that is where the sad, lonely desperate people looking for casual sex and extra marital sex and sex on the side of their sad little relationships go. People of merit, people who are looking for real love and a real connection go to a relationship web-site, not a hook up app.

I don't know, Bowyn, if that last paragraph isn't a little bit scathing, especially in the light of what you wrote to introduce your post. We are in the 21st century. Maybe this is way new connections will be made, much as other connections were made in the past through other means.

[gastudent]

@Rainbowmum: Thank you! You make a good point and you're probably right. He's just a guy that I prefer to have in my life right now than without.

@Bowyn Aerrow: I appreciate a dissenting perspective and I understand where you're coming from, but the sarcasm and pretentious remarks are nothing but trivial and overly judgmental. If you want someone to understand and respect your opinion, you'd be better off without narrow-minded comments.

First of all, they're both in a consenting open relationship, so technically they're both "cheating" on each other per se, and his partner is well aware of who I am. My main concern was whether this situation is one I should be in and if he has the same intentions I do.

Also, the comments about Grindr had nothing to do with the topic in any sort of way. The guy never made any sort of sexual advance to me on Grindr. And for anyone reading this, Grindr can be a great place for social networking no matter what you're looking for. I have talked to and formed friendships with great, respectable guys just as much as I've had to deal with superficial and horny dudes. It's just like the people you come across in the real world. Not only that, but the company that manages the app has really put a lot of effort in making it more than just a "hook up app." If you haven't used it, there's nothing inherently wrong about it.

@East: I definitely share your outlook on the value of honesty more than anything else. That sums up everything I was thinking. Well said.