05-28-2012, 03:11 AM
hi guys,
maybe you remember my post here : "is he cheating???"
I could not add a link.
I suspected that he may cheated on me. I played a game, and he had to confess that he tried to cheat. The reason was that there was a problem with our bed. He had a problem with erection. But as he said, this was the first time he had a failure of erection.
First I asked him whether he finds me attractive or not. He always said I was attractive. But then he confessed me, he said that he just wanted to have sex in order to understand whether same situation would happen with another person or not. I was very angry. I could not speak with him for 2 days. Then I went to his house, and saw that he is really , really sorry.
For the first time, I forgave him because I knew that erection was a big problem for him. And also he could be a passive for me also. Anyway, I said him that if this happens again, I will never forgive him. And he promised that will never happen. It is so strange I never thought that I can forgive one who cheat on me, but this one is different. I really love him.
I am regularly spending 5 days with him.
Anyway, we spend 1 month without talking about that situation. I was happy. And we are not bad at bed. But 1 week ago, I saw he login the same website in which we met. Then I said him that I really afraid of loosing him, do you cheat on me? he said "I never do again". But I could not believe in him. So I said him "I will go to my house, I cannot come to his house for 2 days.." He said OK. But I knew his msn password, and before going to my home, I made MSN-messenger to save what is written.
Then I came today afternoon. I really tried not to think that he may cheated on me. Then I could not resist, and login his computer and saw what he wrote. He is talking with others who wants to come his house. He is saying "before coming, call me. Beacuse he (me) can come. But he won't come before calling." Something like that. Also I understood that he has sex with other at least 2 people.
I really pissed of.
BUT I LOVE HIM AGAIN. AND FUNNY PART IS I KNOW HE LOVES ME.
HE may want to have sex with others. But I cannot accept it again. This is so humiliating. Now he is sleeping. Tonight I will write what I think about him, then tomorrow I will make him to read it. I am really pissed of. But I love him.![Angry Angry](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/angry.png)
But I know some relationships that people love each other, but they have sex with others also. I do not know I can do this. He is my first love and I cannot share him with others. Besides, he said me first he loved me. Then I loved him.
Actually I partly know ahy he is cheating on me. Because he is alone. When I am not with him, he has no friend. His best friend is at the hospital, he may die. But this excuse also seems stupid.
The thing that I afraid of is that when he reads my letter, He may not say anything. Can he say "OK this is me, the door is there. you can go." or "I have nothing to say, If you want you can go" or spliting apart my letter.
I want him to beg me. I want him to ask for my forgivness. I am afraid of forgive him after he beg me or cry.
I could not see him crying ![Sad Sad](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/sad.png)
If I break up with him, I will be in a blank. I will not know what to do.
This is really freaking
maybe you remember my post here : "is he cheating???"
I could not add a link.
I suspected that he may cheated on me. I played a game, and he had to confess that he tried to cheat. The reason was that there was a problem with our bed. He had a problem with erection. But as he said, this was the first time he had a failure of erection.
First I asked him whether he finds me attractive or not. He always said I was attractive. But then he confessed me, he said that he just wanted to have sex in order to understand whether same situation would happen with another person or not. I was very angry. I could not speak with him for 2 days. Then I went to his house, and saw that he is really , really sorry.
For the first time, I forgave him because I knew that erection was a big problem for him. And also he could be a passive for me also. Anyway, I said him that if this happens again, I will never forgive him. And he promised that will never happen. It is so strange I never thought that I can forgive one who cheat on me, but this one is different. I really love him.
I am regularly spending 5 days with him.
Anyway, we spend 1 month without talking about that situation. I was happy. And we are not bad at bed. But 1 week ago, I saw he login the same website in which we met. Then I said him that I really afraid of loosing him, do you cheat on me? he said "I never do again". But I could not believe in him. So I said him "I will go to my house, I cannot come to his house for 2 days.." He said OK. But I knew his msn password, and before going to my home, I made MSN-messenger to save what is written.
Then I came today afternoon. I really tried not to think that he may cheated on me. Then I could not resist, and login his computer and saw what he wrote. He is talking with others who wants to come his house. He is saying "before coming, call me. Beacuse he (me) can come. But he won't come before calling." Something like that. Also I understood that he has sex with other at least 2 people.
I really pissed of.
BUT I LOVE HIM AGAIN. AND FUNNY PART IS I KNOW HE LOVES ME.
HE may want to have sex with others. But I cannot accept it again. This is so humiliating. Now he is sleeping. Tonight I will write what I think about him, then tomorrow I will make him to read it. I am really pissed of. But I love him.
![Angry Angry](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/angry.png)
But I know some relationships that people love each other, but they have sex with others also. I do not know I can do this. He is my first love and I cannot share him with others. Besides, he said me first he loved me. Then I loved him.
Actually I partly know ahy he is cheating on me. Because he is alone. When I am not with him, he has no friend. His best friend is at the hospital, he may die. But this excuse also seems stupid.
The thing that I afraid of is that when he reads my letter, He may not say anything. Can he say "OK this is me, the door is there. you can go." or "I have nothing to say, If you want you can go" or spliting apart my letter.
I want him to beg me. I want him to ask for my forgivness. I am afraid of forgive him after he beg me or cry.
![Sad Sad](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/sad.png)
![Sad Sad](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/sad.png)
If I break up with him, I will be in a blank. I will not know what to do.
![Sad Sad](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/sad.png)
![Angry Angry](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/angry.png)