Confused bi guy

[mp863]

I've been bi since i was a teen. I prefer to date/be in relationshipswith women, but am attracted to men, particularly gay porn.

Basically for many years I fulfilled my gay desires through porn until I finally got up the courage to act on them. Experience after experience I find that I do not like gay sex at all. Kissing men in particular distastes me. When I am out and about I am doing what a typical straight guy does and basically gawk at hot women and fantasize about what I'd do to them. I don't do this with guys.

So my confusion is - or question -- am I only attracted to gay porn? Is that normal?

I've had probably a couple dozen of gay encounters now with varying types of partners. I am mostly attracted to older 'daddy' types. But when it comes time for intercourse, I'm really not turned on and typically just perform the act to not be a dick about it (many times I sought the hookup) and am glad when it's over.

I'd drop the thing altogether and just consider myself straight, but I am absolutely attracted to gay porn and pretty much that is all.

Any thoughts?

[pellaz]

welcome to gs

porn is not a good measure of anything.
Gay or straight porn is choreographed to sell make money. You can get your self off too. The measure of being gay is the ability to maintain a successful same sex relationship which includes the sex but also a whole list of things too.

[azulai]

You don't list an age, but I'm guessing it's early 20's? Maybe you felt some pressure to label yourself in your teens so maybe now relax a little?

I think it's great you've experimented and discovered things about yourself, your needs and turn-ons. I would just go with who your relate to emotionally if your goals include the hope of a fulfilling relationship.

Porn, is well, just porn. Guys are visually simulated and it's choreographed to maximize the money shot. If you use that to get off, use it, but I wouldn't define yourself by porn.

Who knows, you might find a great woman who gets off to gay porn as well. Or you might need a woman who isn't afraid to try out a stap-on.

I would just be honest that you have certain leanings; I wouldn't hide anything.

You mention what you don't like with guys, but are those things appealing with women? How do you feel about kissing and cuddling women? So, I would maybe try spending a little more time there.

For me, being gay has less to do with sex and more to do with the emotional intimacy and fulfillment I need. Sex is more a means of expressing feelings, and sharing a bond. So, that's why I generally recommend exploring the emotional level.

Welcome to GS.

eta: or what pellaz said ^^^ in way fewer words than me! :biggrin:

[dfiant]

yeah, watching porn isn't a great indicator for sexuality...could be something as simple as penis envy/admiration, who knows, but I would advise you to stop experimenting with gay sex as obviously you don't enjoy it

[mp863]

You don't list an age, but I'm guessing it's early 20's? Maybe you felt some pressure to label yourself in your teens so maybe now relax a little?

I think it's great you've experimented and discovered things about yourself, your needs and turn-ons. I would just go with who your relate to emotionally if your goals include the hope of a fulfilling relationship.

Porn, is well, just porn. Guys are visually simulated and it's choreographed to maximize the money shot. If you use that to get off, use it, but I wouldn't define yourself by porn.

Who knows, you might find a great woman who gets off to gay porn as well. Or you might need a woman who isn't afraid to try out a stap-on.

I would just be honest that you have certain leanings; I wouldn't hide anything.

You mention what you don't like with guys, but are those things appealing with women? How do you feel about kissing and cuddling women? So, I would maybe try spending a little more time there.

For me, being gay has less to do with sex and more to do with the emotional intimacy and fulfillment I need. Sex is more a means of expressing feelings, and sharing a bond. So, that's why I generally recommend exploring the emotional level.

Welcome to GS.

eta: or what pellaz said ^^^ in way fewer words than me! :biggrin:

You got the age right. I guess this isn't really rocket science I just always assumed that I watch gay porn and get turned on means I'm gay.

I can be intimate and carry on relationships with women, basically do the things with them that I've been unable to do with men. I have tried anal and REALLY wasn't into that - more into the thought of it than the actual act.

So anyways I guess I'm more of a straight guy that's into gay porn. There is nothing wrong with that of course it just confused me when I couldn't be into men even when I watch porn and fantasize about it.

Anyways thanks for the feedback!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Gay, Bi Straight is not all about the sex.

Sure the technical words are Homosexual, Bisexual, Heterosexual - there is no emphasis on the sex.

It seems to me you are a bored straight guy who most likely has grown bored with vanilla straight sex in porn, it no longer excites you so you moved on to something else just to be 'excited' by the porn.

I doubt you are really bisexual in that you can form a fast, loving relationship with either gender. You may be bisexual in that you can perform and even get off with every gender - but that is not saying much.

Blindfold a 100%, dye in the wool straight guy, restrain his arms so he can't cope a field and let anyone give him head and he will get off - a mouth is a mouth. Sexuality not withstanding, a bit of stimulation will do the trick.

How much porn do/did you watch? How long? What have you watched before you slipped into the gay porn? If 'A lot' and 'really wild straight porn' falls in there you most likely have a porn addiction, have seen all, fantasized about all and are only seeking 'wilder' stuff in order for it to excite you.

[GayDatingExpert]

If you don't like it then stop, reality rarely lives up to the fantasy, and porn is body beautiful, perhaps you've not met the right guy. But then again, just because you like Star Wars doesn't mean that you have to sleep with Jabba the Hut!

[mp863]

The porn theory might hold some weight. Thanks to the Internet I've had access to porn since my early teens and eventually migrated to gay porn, although I like straight/lesbian stuff too.

I experience the same guilt that some other posters have described after masturbating to gay porn, although to be fair when I masturbate to any porn I feel particularly shameful afterwards.

Anyways thanks for the feedback, I think I might need some counseling to really get to the bottom of this, but I do think I'm going to stop seeking out gay encounters for the immediate future.