Masc Vs. Fem

[myapple]

I always thought the masculine/feminine thing going on in the gay community was the dumbest thing ever. I feel like a lot of men let that define them. No one ever says they're fem in their description, but when they're masc, they'll flaunt it to and fro and say they're looking for the same thing. It's disgusting and I wish a lot of gays would broaden their horizons. I could go on and on, but I'll just stop here. What do you guys think?

[Alwaysconfused]

I agree with you. I used to say I would never date a fem guy but guess what I did. And he was FAB! So I don't put a label on anyone or even myself. As long as they are themselves, that is all I care about and an honest guy lol

[Genersis]

Stupid.
That's what i think it is.

There's guys that look more feminine, there's some that look more masculine.
Just like hight, some people have preferences to one or that other, that can change with time.
And just like height, some people flaunt the characteristic as if it makes them better than others.

People who flaunt about stuff like that are more likely to be insecure; that's how i see it.
Bragging about something so insignificant.
Maybe i'm wrong though.

[DarkDaisuke]

Its BS. Ive found feminine guys and masculine guys attractive. Ive found though that both have their fair share of horrible people.

[myapple]

Stupid.
That's what i think it is.

There's guys that look more feminine, there's some that look more masculine.
Just like hight, some people have preferences to one or that other, that can change with time.
And just like height, some people flaunt the characteristic as if it makes them better than others.

People who flaunt about stuff like that are more likely to be insecure; that's how i see it.
Bragging about something so insignificant.
Maybe i'm wrong though.

I agree wholeheartedly, especially with "People who flaunt about stuff like that are more likely to be insecure"

[LateBloomer]

I consider myself a "masculine" guy. And I'm generally attracted to other masculine guys. But I did go out with a rather "fem" guy once who I thought was pretty cute, but damn it all the drama and high maintenance just to go out to dinner was a total turn off.

I'm basically "wash and wear". Ready to go in 10 mins.

This guy was worse than a woman with all the rituals and preparations before we could head out.

Just my experience...

[Dj1990]

I never felt unwanted or abandonded because I'm a fem bottom.
In fact....there seems to be a lot of tops looking for that.

[Pix]

As long as it's not exclusionary with some orthodoxy judging the worthiness of "members" then I'm ok with it. For example, I'm a fan of Kendall Kelly and have no problem with him being a "bear" yet I had very unfriendly feelings for the self-proclaimed "bear" that posted to his joke vid "Hip Hop Dykes" (which won an award) to try and shame him for it and say he was a disgrace to the bear community. Like who made him the Pope of the Bears (Poppa Bear?).

I used to be called a "boi" which others called me before I took to calling myself that and was based on my tomboyish ways, androgynous physique (and short hair and usually dressing like a guy), athletic hobbies, easygoing demeanor and the like. That lasted until I hooked up with a stud who wanted me to become femme, which I did for her and found I liked it though after we broke up I became more of a soft butch and not really care about gender identity (and I can still look very feminine when I wish). I really don't like the restrictions of labels anyway as I'm much more complex than that. And besides there's plenty of bad apples associated with all the types (be they bois, studs, butches, femmes, etc), and I'd rather be judged by my own merits than some label that only addresses part of what I am while ignoring other parts (and thus comparing & contrasting me to others who share the same label whether or not I want to be associated with the specific individuals so labeled).

But if someone, male or female, wishes to identify (or at least explore) as the opposite gender I have no problem with it, and as long as they're nice I think it's kinda cute. But as I say I can't stand those who try to enforce their own arbitrary standards on everyone else around them, whether it's to look down on those who think of themselves differently and/or to decide whether others deserve to call themselves whatever when there's no central bureaucracy that licenses members before they can legitimately declare themselves as such.

[Sylph]

No one ever says they're fem in their description, but when they're masc, they'll flaunt it to and fro and say they're looking for the same thing.

I think I've made it perfectly clear, that I'm the "Queen" here .

For me, it's never been; "Hmm... Should I be a masculine guy, and work out, or be a feminine guy and carry a purse" but rather I just fell into who I was and am.

I love gossiping, I love pretty things, I love watching soaps and romantic movies["Chick-flicks"], but I am not the conventional fem guy.

I love handling and researching animals[even one's most people don't like], I love Bagua[Martial Art], and I love not having to worry about my figure or hair :biggrin: [even though I take care of them].
~

It's not the Masc/Fem thing that confuses me, but why is it so important that you don't want to be one or the other? Kind of like what you said about Masc. guys flaunting their masculinity, rather then their femininity... why does it matter what people perceive you as?

I've had my guy friends tell me they don't want to do certain things, because "it seems too gay", meaning feminine, such as talking about stuff... especially with a gay guy, because then people will think they are gay too.

I don't care personally. I walk into town with my sexy shades on, iPod in my ears and off I go, but not because I'm feminine, but because I literally don't care what people think.

Even gay guys are scared I think, about how they are perceived,especially being a minority[for now]. Masculine gay guys don't want their feminine partners; embarrassing them, causing a scene, being to loud,potentially outing them, basically being everything they may not be.

But they have to realize, that like them, their partner is only being themselves and they shouldn't feel ashamed of them, because I'm pretty sure the feminine partner is not ashamed of the masculine one.

And I personally think it's okay to have this "Masculine/Feminine" role thing going on, because I personally think that sometimes, a relationship needs two different mindsets and personalities. I've been told I exude a "feminine energy", because I'm not aggressive, competitive,macho, but rather; gentle, caring, softhearted, so obviously I'd work better with someone who is what I'm not, because if I had someone like me, then we'd both be crying during "chick flicks" and over feminize any child we may adopt[which may not be a bad thing really].

I can't see two macho muscle guys raising a child to be unlike them, because neither of them have the "feminine energy", even though it might be possible.

Every child I come into contact with, they seem to gravitate towards me, because I've been told I have a very "mom" like quality, holding the child next to me and reading to them or just playing with them and ... babying them.

My Brother, the self proclaimed "mans man", hates when I baby the kids, when he just wants to send them on their way with a "Go to sleep!!" or discipline them, to where I would never do that unless absolutely required. Two of those kids are his younger siblings[we have the same dad, different moms], who call me big brother and always jump up and down when I come to visit them.

So I believe it's different for different people, because I'm more of a Mom, and a "Dad" would be more complimentory in regards to the energy and the places where we fit.

It's not really roles per se, but for me, more or less a matching of puzzle pieces.

A guy who is raised to be that, a guy, would not have the feminine energy and would raise the child more tough and in their image, but a feminine guy has that energy, because of whatever reason, though for me, it's because I was raised by a Single mom and my Grandmother, not to mention my family is majority females, and most of my friends are girls[though majority of them are lesbians mile:].

I don't believe in the controversial; "He's the Man and your the Woman" scenario that most people place on gays, but I do believe that different energies contribute greatly to a relationship and the possible raising of a child.

Also, I don't want to offend anyone who thinks opposite of me, but I just wanted to express my opinion.

[Puck]

That whole "masculine vs feminine" argument has got to be one of the biggest loads of tripe I have ever heard as well. I am in complete agreement with you.

We all share masculine and feminine qualities, whether you're male or female, gay or straight. Yes, some people exhibit more of one quality than another...but in the end, if you truly like them...who gives a rat's ass?