Being gay, single, and LONELY.

[AeMr]

I think you are putting to much into the idea of relationship.

You are 19, so it is forgivable.

The problem with being alone is you do not have to be lonely being alone. Alone time - being single is a great opportunity to learn about yourself. Trust me, with only a year as an adult there is still lots and lots and lots of stuff to learn about yourself.

Yes - a lot of gay men are into the serial one night stand and other things. you can accept this and join in (play safe) or you can set your standards where you are comfortable and wait patiently.

You are alone and you think that being part of an 'us' will fix this. It won't. Sure it will feel good for a while, but if you can't be comfortable with the man in the mirror you will not be comfortable with a partner.

That "one dude" is out there. And like you he tired of the B.S. and most likely doesn't go to where the B.S. is.

find activities of mixed people (Straight and LGBT) such as hobbies like collecting stuff or hunting or hiking and join up with groups of people who meet face to face and actually do stuff. Aim for making friends. This is basically networking - you may not meet The One at that place, but your new friends will have friends and invite you to social affairs to meet new people and eventually you will run into The One.

WOW... I love what you just said. I always say that to dudes. That they like the idea of having me around rather than actually being with me.

[Puck]

Gotta agree with Mr. Monk here

You're understandably frustrated, I know...it does suck being alone when it seems everyone else has found their soul mate.....but is being needlessly cruel to others the way to solve your problem?

Don't stoop to the jerks' level by doling out bitterness and antagonism as retaliation for how other sad people have treated you...you seem like a much better man than letting yourself be eaten away by cynicism and misanthropy.

I am a firm believer that there are karmic forces in this cosmos that give us what we put out into the world...if you go through life feeling spiteful and jaded, its going to come back to bite you in the proverbial nether regions.

Go out there with a sense of pride in yourself....know that you deserve a good guy to settle down with, feel it in the very marrow of your bones..project a sense of contentment with the world and to hell with what other people think. Who cares if an elderly man or buff meathead talks to you? If you're not interested in them, politely tell them so and keep them at arm's length....but don't resort to cruelty as some sort of vendetta against the dating world...you'll only end up more alone than you feel now.

Good luck friend....I hope you find the right guy for you soon mile:

[monk]

"Who cares if an elderly man talks to you?"


And I was going to propose, too . . .

*sigh*

[sonofthemanse]

We're completely in the same boat! I'm starting university at the end of this year, so I'm telling myself that someone amazing will whisk me off my feet although I have no idea if that will actually happen. I'm perfectly happy being single because before I 'came out' I spent a good 7 years deep in the closet, having consigned myself to being celibate for life. At the moment, it's tough as I'm the only gay virgin I know - call it peer pressure if you want, although nobody's forcing me. Just hang on in there! The longer you wait for Mr Right, the more amazing spending time with him will be.

[LateBloomer]

We're completely in the same boat! I'm starting university at the end of this year, so I'm telling myself that someone amazing will whisk me off my feet although I have no idea if that will actually happen. I'm perfectly happy being single because before I 'came out' I spent a good 7 years deep in the closet, having consigned myself to being celibate for life. At the moment, it's tough as I'm the only gay virgin I know - call it peer pressure if you want, although nobody's forcing me. Just hang on in there! The longer you wait for Mr Right, the more amazing spending time with him will be.

Take it from a Late Bloomer. There's a lot of truth in that last sentence.



It's better to wait.

[Sylph]

I think you and I are on the same mind-set somewhat, but the only difference between us is;

I don't need someone to be there for me, when I've got myself.

I had a best friend, practically twins, for 14 years, joined at the hip, head, everything and I lost him[he's not dead].

I thought I was smart before and had it all together, but when that hit me, it made me sit back and re-evaluate everything about myself and I discovered that as long as I have myself, I won't even need to rely on someone else or be lonely for the same reason.

Sure, at times I want to just give up the control I have over my emotions and what not and have someone hold me and have my back, but you can't expect that from someone just because they're with you.

I like to be in control of a situation, wherever I am, because I've been trampled on before, plus losing my best friend[who was my "leader"] made me take charge. But yeah, like I said, I want to just fall back into a guy's arms and have him take the control sometimes, but as long as I have myself, I don't have to rely or depend on it.

I always put myself in other peoples shoes if I can, and I can honestly say; If I got together with a guy and he was expecting me to take care of him and pet him and what not, I don't think I'd enjoy it and would probably have to break it off, so I don't think I'd do the same thing to him[unless he likes to do that or doesn't mind it].

like LateBloomer said above, and it's my biggest mantra when it comes to being in a relationship; You have to love yourself and be able to be alone, before you get with someone else, because it's you that has to hold yourself up, if and when it doesn't work out.

But other wise then that, I can relate to some extent. I don't like stalkers either... a lot of older men have come onto me before and has made me very distrustful of older men. And only now am I coming to tolerate, if not accept, their decisions.

Life is really to short to stress over small and trivial things, even though we're as young as we are. Not to say relationships are small, but it's still not something that should be your epicenter.

Hope it works out for you AeMr!

[dfiant]

I think you and I are on the same mind-set somewhat, but the only difference between us is;

I don't need someone to be there for me, when I've got myself.

I had a best friend, practically twins, for 14 years, joined at the hip, head, everything and I lost him[he's not dead].

I thought I was smart before and had it all together, but when that hit me, it made me sit back and re-evaluate everything about myself and I discovered that as long as I have myself, I won't even need to rely on someone else or be lonely for the same reason.

Sure, at times I want to just give up the control I have over my emotions and what not and have someone hold me and have my back, but you can't expect that from someone just because they're with you.

I like to be in control of a situation, wherever I am, because I've been trampled on before, plus losing my best friend[who was my "leader"] made me take charge. But yeah, like I said, I want to just fall back into a guy's arms and have him take the control sometimes, but as long as I have myself, I don't have to rely or depend on it.

I always put myself in other peoples shoes if I can, and I can honestly say; If I got together with a guy and he was expecting me to take care of him and pet him and what not, I don't think I'd enjoy it and would probably have to break it off, so I don't think I'd do the same thing to him[unless he likes to do that or doesn't mind it].

like LateBloomer said above, and it's my biggest mantra when it comes to being in a relationship; You have to love yourself and be able to be alone, before you get with someone else, because it's you that has to hold yourself up, if and when it doesn't work out.

But other wise then that, I can relate to some extent. I don't like stalkers either... a lot of older men have come onto me before and has made me very distrustful of older men. And only now am I coming to tolerate, if not accept, their decisions.

Life is really to short to stress over small and trivial things, even though we're as young as we are. Not to say relationships are small, but it's still not something that should be your epicenter.

Hope it works out for you AeMr!

Spoken like a true Libran

You could have literally taken the words right out of my mouth.

Such wise young man

[Ind]

Spoken like a true Libran

You could have literally taken the words right out of my mouth.

Such wise young man

I was going to say the same thing. Quite surprised that you're just 18 mile:

[Sylph]

Spoken like a true Libran

You could have literally taken the words right out of my mouth.

Such wise young man

Thanks Daddy, . I was thinking; "what would Dad say?" :tongue:

Libras! Woot Woot lol.

~

@Ind - Don't think me daft, but... I always forget how old I am .

I look quite young, but I don't feel it sometimes, because I feel like an adult mentally. My family[mostly my cousins] believes in reincarnation and they think I am the reincarnate of someone intelligent... I was like; eh? . lol

I used to be called Grandma Odi in my String Ensemble last year...

[BeautifulBlue]

I feel like I'm in the same boat a lot of the time. Not sure how different it is from you and I, because I have bipolar disorder, but something that helps me is having a good gay friend. His name is Steve. He's 42, lives a few hours away, etc. We've met up, had some fun, etc. But the thing is, despite the sexual relationship, I feel like I can tell him anything.

I think if you find a confidant like that, you'll feel MUCH better.